Do you consider this "cheating"? What would you do? ?

Question

At 8 months pregnant, I was feeling really uncomfortable and unattractive. I came home one evening after being at school all day to discover that my husband had been looking at p**n all day on the computer. I felt so cheated on and betrayed...being in my condition I felt especially upset because i am no longer thin like I used to be. Even worse- he tried to lie about it and cover it up.

Also, he had told me long ago that he doesn't like p**n or look at it, so I was really shocked.

Our s*x life during pregnancy = decent (several times a week)

I can't imagine feeling worse. Am considering divorce. Thoughts?

Answer 1

divorce is a bit extreme. talk to him tell him how it made you feel. talk about it. if you cant talk about these things then you shouldnt really be together if you cant communicate.

Answer 2

Personally I would in a way.

I think you need to talk with him about it especially if it not something acceptable in your relationship. He tried to hide it so even in his mind he feels he is doing something wrong and that should be addressed. Just let your emotions cool down a bit first.

I would not yet be thinking of divorce though, hopefully this is something you guys can work through.

Answer 3

Divorce is very extreme, and if you are thinking of divorce over this then I think you have some underlying issues with him.

Almost all men look at p**n! I guarantee it. Obviously there are the few that don't, but most do. My husband does and i don't really care. As long as it isn't an obsession i think it is normal. It is crazy to think he would never look or want to look at another woman ever again.

you guys should watch some p**n together :)

As for the lying, he was aprobably just afraid you would be upset like this and was afraid to tell you. Which doesn't make the lying right, but you guys should just come to an understanding about it.

Answer 4

as much as you might not want to hear this, p**n is really no big deal in the male point of view.some women dig it, some dont. all guys dig p**n. we are more visual, while the femal mind is more mental stimulation. truthfully its not that big of a deal. ill guarantee you he's probably been looking at p**n for a lot longer than youve been pregnant. seriously, its not that big of a deal.

Answer 5

well he lied to you so that is very bad...and i am sure you feel upset cause you are thinking you dont look good and stuff tell him about it and why you are so mad at least try that first...

Answer 6

I don't but if you do and you've made it clear that that's how you feel about p**n then it is.  As the first respondent said you might want to consider counseling.

Answer 7

Divorce is kinda strong don't you think? I don't understand why people get so freaked out over pron at least he was at home and not with another women. He probably tried to cover it up because he knew you would freak out (which he was right) all guys like to look at that stuff for some reason or another try and relax a little. Give him a break.

Answer 8

Do you really want to bring a child into this world starting off with a divorce? As a child of two divorced parents, I can honestly tell you that it sucks and really puts a toll on 'our', the children, lives.

Maybe you should seek family counseling. While I agree that he shouldn't have been looking at p**n, and especially shouldn't have lied to you, I don't think it's worth getting a divorce over. You need to take into consideration the baby, the fact that your hormones are racing at the moment, and whether or not you will regret this decision days, months, and years down the line.

Good luck.

Answer 9

if you caught him having s*x with another woman, then yes, divorce.

but he was only looking, would you prefer he was out cheating.

my BF buys those papers with the topless girl in when he is at work, i think most of the reason is male bravado in front of his colleaugues. and there is also the fact that i banned them from our home, he seemed to listen when i said your looking at someones little girl, and you tell me its harmless when its our daughter that other men are looking at.

it bothers me, but its just fantasy, its not real. what is real is the fact he is in my bed everynight hounding me for some loving when i just want a decent nights sleep!

Answer 10

i dot think its that serious to get a divorce over. men look at p**n. its not that he doesnt find you attractive. but i let my man look at p**n. i'd rather him do that than go out and find someone else. i dont think its that big of deal. let him "accidentally" catch u looking at some p**n and then maybe he can see how u feel. sorry if im no help i just dont think it is that serious to get a divorce over

Answer 11

You are really insecure if you are thinking about divorce because your husband looked at p**n. Look up statistics on how many men do that, and women, not all of us are prudes.

Answer 12

so he's looking at p**n...big deal! join him next time.

Answer 13

Men and a lot of women look at p**n and/or m********e regardless of how their s*x life is going. I don't consider it cheating in the least. If these were pictures of someone he knew, that would be a little different. In fact, when I was 8 months pregnant, I looked at p**n, because I had nothing better to do. I was on maternity leave and I wasn't used to sitting around all day. Just because he is looking at p**n, doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive and it certainly doesn't constitute cheating!

Answer 14

I'd feel hurt but I wouldn't consider a divorce over the matter. It's not like he had another woman in your bed with him. I think p**n is tacky and disgusting but I'd rather have my husband looking at it then to go out with an actual person.

I'm not saying you should write it off as being okay. Speak with your husband about it and tell him how much it hurt you that he was doing this. Tell him how you're feeling and that he needs to be more sympathetic about it.