Do you consider this spoiling?

Question

Would you consider this spoiling?

I was at my grandmothers, and my 2yr old cousin was there too, and she wanted to take my little cousin to the library for song time. about half way there, my cousin started crying and yelling, saying she wanted this toy she had left back at the house,

my grandma turned back around and drove home to get it. I said "wow aren't you spoiled" in a nice way, and my grandma said i dont see it as spoiling because its only giving her what she is frustrated about"

I was kind of shocked because if my child did that, I would just be like sorry you are going to have to wait till we get home, and then try to distract them or something but I figure they can get over it?

She didnt even hold the toy for a minute after I ran in an grabbed it.

Would you do this? I am looking after her in a couple days too, so any advice about her crying over stuff like this is appreciated, because I wont be driving all the way home.

Answer 1

Hi there,

it does sound as if she is a little spoilt!

The problem will be that the little girl will be used to this kind of attention, maybe you could talk to the parents and explain that in your house its your rules.

I would stick to your approach when your are looking after her otherwise your children will learn the wrong behaviour! it will be hard but she will get the message.

and i totally agree i wouldn't have have gone back for the toy!!

good luck!

Rai

Answer 2

It is definately spoiling her. I would not have gone back either. If she wanted it, she should have brought it in the first place. If she does that at your house, just treat her as you would your own child. Good luck!

Answer 3

She is spoiled.  

Answer 4

Did you have a Blankie or some other comforting tor that you took every where as a child???

Many young children have a blankie or toy to self-comfort them selves. It is a little piece of home that they take with them everywhere the go. To you this may have been just a toy, but to your nephew the toy could have been his self-comforting toy.

Answer 5

Definitely spoiling the child.  Best thing to do would have been to distract the child with some other activity.  Worst thing you can do is given in to a toddler's demands.  Now, the child will start to expect to get her way every time she gets upset about something.  Tsk, tsk Grandma (she should know better).

Answer 6

definitely spoiled...my goodness...I wouldn't have gone back either!

Answer 7

I think that the normal rules don't apply to Grandmas.  I certainly wouldn't have turned around to get the toy either!  I wouldn't bother mentioning it to her or arguing about it though.  

It sounds to me like you have good instincts and will be firm but fair.  2 is plenty old to start learning you don't get every little thing you cry for and I certainly try to avoid rewarding bad behavior like screaming and yelling.  The child will quickly learn where your boundaries are if you are consistent.  The most useful advice my mom ever gave me regarding parenting was to never make a threat you aren't going to follow through on.  The kids quickly learn that you are all talk and will walk all over you!  Good luck!

Answer 8

I have a son who will be 2 next month. I would have told him that we are going to the library and he can have the toy when we get home.

If he still freaked out and it bothered me, I would have told him that we were going home where he can play with the toy, but then we would be staying home.

But most likely we would have just continued on to the library and he would have gotten over it.

Answer 9

that kid is absoulety spoiled .. if that was my kid id tell say sorry for your luck but your gonna have to wait.  

Answer 10

Children throw tantrums when they get frustrated, so the best way to avoid them is to plan accordingly, take toys and whatnot with you. Have the child pick out a few to take if you have to go somewhere. It's not really spoiling, unless it was like a 45 minute one way ride. Then it's a bit old. But taking a child to a new place is usually scary and having their comfort item can make it easier on everyone, instead of just going ahead and having to leave early cause the child is screaming and screaming and screaming. Terrible twos is a bad time, and I kinda agree with your grandma, although I would of just cancelled the trip and stayed home with my daughter, but she doesn't misbehave in public yet cause we plan ahead. Good luck!

Answer 11

SPOILED and grandma herself knows it when she says "only giving her what she is frustrated over".  

This is a sure way to have a B R A T on your hands later on. Sorry, but if it were my own child I'd have told him "sorry  sweetie but we left your monkey (or whatever it was) at home this time. He'll be there waiting for you when we get back." and went on with my destination and plans.

Giving in to a tantrum is only teaching her that if she screams and throws a howling fit she gets what she wants. It's not healthy. Sometimes kids need to have some disappointment in life. During a tantrum to manipulate what they want is one of them.