Do you enjoy this poem?

Question

Look on in ways with which to please

a newer life holds sour keys

A birth, a life, a sudden death

and only thought holds us above the rest

Teardrops and fingernails

suspended on my doorstep,

And out of my mind

leapt a leather-bound conformist

A mirror in my thoughts

left me gazing at myself

gagged and tied

I was in dull health

Where did I go?

Through that cellar door

only the egos ask for one more

I grasped onto time

and he threw me a dime

"Go get a job" he giggled and turned,

the meaning of cost is to flee and yearn

The delicacy of life

is like a portrait of fears

Did you have a good life

when you died to the feeders?

Stow deeper

into the road that follows

Seek to find

and learn to know

This experience is of the reaching

If you close the book

Then I might stop preaching

It’s like sublime warfare…

Answer 1

good, but not great.

Answer 2

It's not bad, but your point is not so clear. I suggest when you that you know you "hook" before you start the poem. What I mean is create a central point and mask it in metaphors and/ similies. That is the basis of a good poem. People like poems that they can understand and relate to.... Good though... Keep  writing!

Also, beware of posting your poems publicly. There are many people who will try to take them for their own.

Answer 3

Have you posted this (poem) before? Some how the line

"Did U have a good life when U died to the feeders", sounds familiar.!!but U made Ur point any way.

Answer 4

Yes, very much. After all, it offers great inner meaning.