Do you ever feel like an outsider because you are not married with children?

Question

Or just because you are childless, with no immediate possability of having them?

Answer 1

I think you feel that way because one always notices the difference.  I had my first kid at 26 and I felt like every one else was already a parent, but one of my very best friends didn't marry or have kids until she was in her late '30's.  She just played the "godmother" and brought treats and toys to my kiddo, carried him when my back hurt,  and he called her "aunt'. Someone asked her once how she had remained close friends with her married and parenting friends and she said you just keep doing the same things you always did, but include the kiddoes.  Of course, we had always shopped and ate out and family friendly stuff like that, so it was easy to take the baby from the get go...She always made sure that we knew she wasn't a babysitter either!

Be the "fun" adult who brings gum or little toys to the kids.  Act like you adore them, and dote on them, and you will be an insider, because  a parent's world revolves around their kids, and you will just need to step into that orbit!

Answer 2

Bottomline is happiness, as always. Whether you are married, single, or married without child, doesn't mean you are alone and should be lonely.  It may not be your choice, but maybe you still do have friends and family that you can grow old with.  Choose to be happy and enjoy life!

Answer 3

You shouldn't feel like an outsider just you are not married or don't have children...that is your choice at this moment I'm sure..if people make you feel this way by their comments then they are...just small narrow minded people...don't marry or have children just because someone puts pressure on you...always make these choices with a clear thinking mind...because children are for ever..and a hard job rearing them in this world.

Answer 4

depends on the person..what kind of personality you have..its a very personal choice to get married to bring up a child raise  a family..so in this day and age of techonology and violence in our society...every one has a right to say no not for me...very individual choice..unless she was a horrid ol batty cow then i say i understand why she never got married and had kids lol

Answer 5

Yeah, no need to mash somebody else cuz your in a p**sy mood, who made you the Parenting category police?

:)

And I just cannot relate, but because you are not MWC does not make you an outsider, so stick with that fact and repel ignorance!

Better to know yourself and not just blindly follow along and do what so many others have decided is "normal."

Peace to you!

Answer 6

before having kids (had mine late), i didn't feel like an outsider, because I know a lot of people who don't have them - but I did want them and I didn't know HOW because my life just wasn't sorted (partner, home etc).

I wanted kids for years before I got them.

I felt more worried about me than about being "an outsider". I don't believe you are an outsider. I believe we are all people on the same path through life, all trying to get by and be happy, sometimes despite the odds. All people, all worthy of love and inclusion - so no, not an outsider.

for me it was more an issue of, if I don't get my life sorted and have a kid, will I miss out? And for me the answer would have been yes - I now have kids and I am very grateful. But I also have friends who are single without kids and love that way of life. they aren't outsiders - they are the same as me - people who made their own decisions based on their own needs.

childless people make fab godparents and aunties too. (lots of our aunties aren't related but are such good mates they may as well be).

i think life is often what you make it. If you think you want kids, then prioritise this becaise you havae to do it young enough - can't change your mind at 60 (if female). (Can if you male of course!)

If you don't, then ENJOY THE LIE INS! Enjoy being able to go for dinner at a moment's notice. Enjoy any spare cash you get. Enjoy a clean carpet. Enjoy your friends. And spoil their kids once in a while!

We are all in it together, honey. That's for sure.

Answer 7

As a 21 year old male I experience that all the time

Answer 8

No.  I've never regretted my decision.

Answer 9

I started my family at a young age. When my children were 18 and 24, my friends kids were only in their 5 to 6 years old brackett. No, I didn't feel like an outsider because their kids were spoiled rotten. I couldn't stand to see my friendsarguing and making deals with out of control kids (Brats) I would have to say that kids born in the late 80s are the Generation X kids who were taught that there is no such thing as NO, self control, Discipline, and respect. They think they deserve to start on top.