Do you ever feel like your baby woes are "priveledged problems"?

Question

Some days, like today, I am grumpy and bitching that my baby hasn't slept good these past few days; he is too active when I am feeling crummy, so on and so forth...

Then I grab the paper and read about some poor baby who was killed by a drunk driver, or I log on here and read a question about a 4-month old who has spent much of it's young life in NICU, and I realize that I am fortunate to be having these problems. Some parents would kill to have a sleepless night with their baby, or to have to cuddle them while their fever comes down at 3 a.m....

...And it really puts things into perspective for me. I have priveledged problems, and I am so fortunate to have two happy, healthy children whose worst ailment has been a stomach flu or a sore throat. I feel bad for complaining in the first place.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Answer 1

I was thinking that myself yesterday morning when I put a handleful of cheerios on Ian's high chair try and he started picking them up one by one and dropping them on the floor. Annoyed, I caught myself saying out loud, "Kids in Africa would kill for those cheerios you're wasting!" Then I felt bad and started thinking...people in Africa would kill to be able to lecture their children about wasting food!!  

Answer 2

I always feel this way.  My son has not been really sick at all since he was born and is very happy most of the time.  Sometimes I will be grumpy because he will wake up (like last night) a couple of times during the night, but then I will talk with friends who can't have kids or read something like that in the paper and feel very fortunate to have such a wonderful son to wake me up a couple of times in the night.

Answer 3

Yes, I do feel that way sometimes. In fact, someone put me in my place once. I was so upset about having a c-section, etc.. and so upset about the fact that I didn't get to see my son right away, but it was only about 5 minutes and he was perfectly healthy. A mother of a preemie put me in my place and I felt so foolish and whiny.

Answer 4

i do.

every morning while i shower i thank God for my problems. They're, like you said, 'priviledged problems'.

Answer 5

I was just thinking about it this morning...a couple of sleepless nights, diaper blowouts and fussy feedings are nothing compared to what some people had been through.

When I need some perspective I spend some time in the TTC section. It reminds me of the four year it took to conceive him and how lucky I am to finally have him here...even if he does cause me personal injury.

Answer 6

my little girl was 8 wks early 3 pounds 7 ounces had to stay i nthe hospital for 2 wks 6 days & she was my first.. never had the full experience . now that i have it , of coarse im still ripping my hair out ; its normal.

edit* & my mom had to point out that my aunt was crying bc she had tryed for a million years to have a baby & she was oldish probaly late 30`s i think when she had one , & i got preg. at 17 , so i felt bad lol but it does give u a dif. perspective ..theres always a bright side & a dark side to look at , its just up to you.

Answer 7

Oh yes, indeed!  I watched a show on Discovery Health the other day about all these high risk babies.  I felt so lucky that I had an easy pregnancy and delivery and my son was born as perfect as can be.  

It's good to get some perspective like that sometimes.

Answer 8

So true.  Life is about how you deal with your struggles, not the struggles themselves.  From what you have told me B&B-you have been through a h**l of a lot in your life, not that many people haven't in some way or another.  Being happy is a CHOICE that everyone can make, but few do.

I think I got off on a tangent.  If you have your mind in the right place you get much more out of life.  When my baby wakes up at night I truly tell myself how lucky I am that I get extra cuddles from Aaron tonight, Not, man I gotta get up and get this baby back to sleep.  It's all persective, baby.

Answer 9

I learned that lesson a few months ago when I started a new job at an insurance agency. I was telling the girls how tired I was and one of the ladies said "I would love to rock a baby to sleep in the middle of the night" and I said "you're absolutely crazy"...I found out a couple days later that she and her husband had been trying for a baby for 12 years. She's had 3 miscarriages, one of which was ectopic and caused her to lose everything on one side. Several years later she's still trying and still no luck. It absolutely breaks my heart and makes me realize that there is nothing in the world that I would rather be doing than taking care of my teething angel!

Answer 10

I agree and I know how you feel.

When I was pregnant, I had terrible morning sickness, but at the same time when my close friend was pregnant, she had a miscarriage and she told me that she would rather have morning sickness 100x worse then me to have her baby back. Makes you stop and think about complaining.

I think God puts people's stories (either in the news on on-line) into our lives for a reason, to realize that someone always has it worse then you do.

Answer 11

My baby's not born yet but i had the same feeling when i found out he was a boy. I wanted a girl very badly so when i found out that he was a boy, i was disappointed. I realized how lucky I was that he was healty and was even able to get pregnant. I have a friend that's been trying for 4 years with no luck. Doesn't take much to make you realize how blessed you are sometimes.

Answer 12

Yes. I still can't stop thinking about that story of the dog who found that abandoned baby. Some children have the worst starts to life and have to spend their first few weeks fighting. It makes me grateful every minute of the day for my 2 healthy kids.  

Answer 13

i feel immensely grateful when i read/heard stories about sick babies. and my heart breaks for the babies and their parents. i don't feel guilty for getting frustrated with the harder parts of my own days though. again, i do feel very lucky. but the thing about that "other people have it worse" thing is that it's a dangerous paradigm. i mean, emotions are NOT relative. if they were, most of us would never have any. plus, i mean, yes, seomeone always has it worse -- but someone always has it better, too. i don't let that take away my happiness, and i don't feel guilty for my bi%^7ing because people have it worse. know what i mean?

all that said, though, i still am profoundly affected by every story of parents' and babies' pain. i don't know how people find the strength to be ...well, to be strong. i really don't. i know how little things can really trip me up, and i am grateful for all those babies who have it really rough that they seem to have been born to parents with the spirit to persevere through it.

good question.

p.s. is your baby on human growth hormones? JEEZ. he looks like a kid.