Do you ever have days when motherhood doesn't seem worth it?

Question

My son before he turned two was the sweetest, most precious thing in the world. Very quiet and very sweet. Always smiled and seem to be great joy. Then he turned TWO and it seems like I don't know what to do with him. He wants everything but now, I took him for a stroller ride to a store because I needed to go, and he threw a fit in the store, so then when we got home I was trying to get him out of the stroller and explained to him that if he were sitting up in the stroller then I couldn't unbuckle him so I tried to lay him back he through a fit outside and started screaming at me as loud as he could. So I picked him up and put in a chair until he calmed down all the while listening to him screaming as loud as he can then he began spitting while sitting there. When he acts this way, it makes it so difficult to be his mother, I don't even want to play with him because for the past three weeks I have had to listen to it. It's an ongoing battle with him and I am completely frustrated. I am so exhausted on a daily basis and I am a stay at home mom so I am with him day in and day out. I want to leave the house so bad but I can't because I love him I just want to take a long walk and never look back because the stress is so intense but I get emotional when I think about, I'm just so confused about what to do. I was spanked and slapped as a child and I am trying not to do that so what do i do? Also, don't judge me as unloving towards my family I love my family so much just have so many issues to work through right now. It's not that he doesn't listen it's the screaming he does it's so loud and ear piercing and I try to reply to him calmly and once he calms down explain what he did but he just seems like a gone and forgotten type child like he just wants to forget it all, and make up but it's so hard for me to do that when he does it all the TIME. Does anyone else have these problems? What do you do when you hit the breaking point? I know you walk away a minute and come back but how many minutes do I need to walk away. If he throws these fits all day long, is walking way every effective. Sometimes I just lock myself in my bedroom room and cry others I cuddle in a corner in the closet afraid to face my child.

Answer 1

Hang in there!  All the advice below looks wonderful but it's hard to take advice when you are feeling miserable!

Take a break, find a friend, neighbor or family member to babysit for even a few hours.  Get out, clear your head and don't feel guilty about it!  You need to take care of yourself, too.  Is there anyway you could have someone cover for you a few hours out of every week?  That might help.

If you can't get someone to cover for you, call someone and talk it out.  You are absolutely right to shut the door and be alone when you feel like this - sometimes it's the healthiest thing you can do.

Take care.

Answer 2

First of all, you are not alone! many moms feel this way, at least moms I know. Have you ever watched super nanny, I love that show, you can pick up some great tips on disipline without spanking or slapping. Now that he is 2 you can do time outs, you just have to be more stubborn than he is. it'll take a few days to get it, but he will. When he misbehaives or throws a fit put him in a time out spot, we have a naughty step, everytime he gets up stick him right back down without saying a word to him, eventually he will stay after he tests the h*ll out of you. Then you do a minute of time out for each year, so he'll do time out for 2 minutes, i think it helps to have a timer present. The rule in our time outs is that time out does NOT begin until there is silence. everytime he screams, reset the timer, he'll get it eventually. Present to him this new process before you bring it into play so that he is prepared for the new wrath of mom. before you go out to a store, you let him know how he is expected to behave and if he does not make him take a time out there or in the car, we have done timeouts at homedepot and the grocery store... and its not a nucance to others being that he is required to be still and quiet. Once we went to out to play and my son threw a fit while leaving which is unacceptable and he screamed the whole way home, i told him he was acting like he needed to take a nap and made him stay in bed quiet for quite some time, he has never done that since. Good luck, i hope this helps at all, but I do suggest watching some super nanny, its always worked.

oh yeah, my favorite part, when time out is over, you need to go to him at his level and tell him why he was in time out (now our son tells us why he was in time out before I get a chance) then he must apologize or he stays there for another 2 minutes, then give an I love you and a hug and play!

Answer 3

I don't know, keep hanging in there. Buy him like a game, because it keeps them more happy then playing with a toy, because a game changes rapidly and keeps them enjoyed. And ummm...my mom tells me that all the time, and I'm 15. :/ lol. --Nate (:

Answer 4

Sometimes but then there are those rare days that makes being a mother worthwhile.

Answer 5

You are absolutely not alone.  There are many days that I struggle through and every child hits those phases that require more effort than you can seem to sum up.

First, you cannot reason with a 2 year old.  Actually, you can barely reason with children on an adult level because they are not little adults.  They do not see logic, life, situations, etc. the same as we do.  Most of the time though, we don't understand them or how they feel either.  It must be very frustrating for them to have all these feelings they don't know how to express and they can't get their point across to us.  I am not saying we have to allow them their way but we need to allow them to feel their feelings and give them an outlet for how to deal with them.  

If you can, read the books Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karn and How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber.  Both cover similar techniques for children of all ages.  

I have found these techniques to work not only on kids but adults too.   It won't make the tantrums or fits go away but it will perhaps help reduce them and in any case can change your perception and your reaction.  Perception is reality and if you change your perception, you change your reality.  

Answer 6

What your feeling is totally normal!  You have a typical two year old.

I believe your son is feeding off of your frustration. I would suggest not letting him know your frustrated. When he throws a tantrum I would ignore him or fall out with him. Act like he is acting. Most of the time they will stop when they see you acting just as crazy as them. The key is staying consistant with discipline.  He knows he can get over on you. They are so smart at this stage. Try and stay calm and just remember it wont always be like this. I have four children I can honestly say this is the hardest stage as a mother. It will pass.

A support group helps me. I have a 15yr old a 2yr old a 1yr old and a 2month old!!  Check out this forum it is so so helpful. You can get some great advice and support.

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/forums/...