Do you ever? i really want to know!!?

Question

I have been having a difference of opinion with a fellow “answers member” so I am going to bring this to all of you:

I want to know all of you in a monogamous; long-term relationships ever have fantasies about other people then your spouse/girlfriend?

Not necessarily during s*x ANY time

I do mean any! Could be the slightest thought about someone you see, imaginary, or even a p**n star.

Is it immoral?

Is it cheating?

I am trying hard to not give my thought or sway anyone’s opinions on this matter! But if you want my thoughts please message or e-mail me! (probably not what you think)

Answer 1

yes it is normal to fantasize about other man/woman while in a relationship. That's fine as long as you don't act upon it

Answer 2

It is perfectly normal for your mind to wander. It only becomes a problem if you are constantly fantasizing about someone, and you imagine acting upon it. Then you're into dangerous territory.

It's even common for loving devoted couples to develop a crush on some one else. The best thing to do is to be honest and open with your partner. This way they know who the 'danger' person is, and you wont sit there thinking you could get away with it. It also lessens the guilt, and therefor you don't sit there dwelling on it, from feeling guilty.

And yes, I do fantasize about other people sometimes. I even admit to getting a crush on someone else, while still loving my husband dearly. I just talked to him about it, and it seemed insignificant. And the fact that he was still loving and supportive made me love him even more.

A relationship is something that needs to be maintained. Communication is very important. We are going strong, and now have baby no 1 on the way. I couldn't be happier. And I don't feel bad about having fantasies, or about the crush i mentioned. The important thing is that we worked on it together, and got through it. It's not even a concern at all anymore.

I used to be worried that i couldn't trust myself not to cheat, but now i do. 100%. And I am getting better at being 'present' in my head, and just being with my husband in my head, when we make love (I was abused when i was younger, so it's difficult for me).

No relationship is perfect, and if the worst that happens is you see a guy with some nice upper arms and think for a second about having his rippling torso on yours, all nice and sweaty, what's the harm? As long as you take it all home to hubby.

Answer 3

I dont see a reason that you are cheating anyone, be yourself.

You  are wonderful matured woman, i like the way you are

Answer 4

Your Answer is YES.

However, I believe that this answer will be somewhat universal. That is to say that their is increasing evidence that its much more common than anyone has ever thought.

When we look at nature and the goals laid out there are clues as to why this might be so.  To begin with we are human.  That is to say we are not plants, but animals.

The program is the same for us as it would be for a rabbit for instance.  While we tent to place social rules and regulations upon our lives, Nature has no intention on following that or any other rule we might lay out.  The goal of nature is repopulation and a continued existence of our human animal.

Cheating as you would call it. Is really programmed into a male from day one.  Our job is in fact just that.  Populate the world with our own s***n.  It also appears to be programmed into females as well.  A key as to why this might be the case came from the genetics strategy.

The program layout for good genetic success is variation.  It would serve little if I myself populated every girl in the world.  It would mean that if I carried some kind of flaw, then everyone would be stricken with it.  Nature built in a fail safe.  Cheating as you call it is actually by design, and in the cause of preventing one male or group of males from introducing bad traits before the weak trait can die off.

Recall that its survival of the fittest.  This is law here.  Our cheating is part of our success in nature, but our social and religious rules conflict with nature almost every time.  The cutting off of a f******n,  fasting for Allah.  All these human created events are contrary to design, and in some cases have huge negative impacts.

Today many people are cured from medicines not found in nature.  We are living longer and reproducing in places where nature intended us to not survive or reproduce.  Our genetic machine has become broken.  Broken by our minds.  We develop cures for things and our weak are surviving to repopulate our own kind instead of dying off.

It is difficult for us to let someone die of the common cold or fever.  I am not saying we should change.  However, we are interfering in our own natural makeup.  Interfering in what nature intoned.  Cheating will always take place and evidence shows us that females do it more than was first though.  Still males be a much stronger s*x seem to do it relentlessly.  While this might not be the answer you would want to hear.

It is indeed with the program.

Hope this helps…

Answer 5

I've been married over 39 years (known my wife for over 40), and I fantasize about other women.  It's normal.

Answer 6

Yes, we all fantasize from time to time about other people (usually celebrities, it would be slightly worrying if it was someone you know well and couldn't stop thinking about them!!) But I think its perfectly normal, doesn't mean you love your partner any less. Its healthy to fancy other people. Harmless fun!

Answer 7

Equating fantasies with immorality or cheating is somewhat short of ludicrous.

My partner and I would frequently talk to each other in the heat of passion and feed the fantasy.  It was great s*x.

Answer 8

yeah theres nothing wrong with fantasizing. its only cheating when you actually kiss or have s*x with someone.

Answer 9

Yes. But, if it came down to it, I would never want to swap spit or any other with someone I did not know.

I think thats why its a fantasy and not reality.

I love my man very much.. and I would never cheat. . But, yes I think of crazy stuff sometimes. My favorite one is of me and him in a castle long ago, and I was called to the Knight or Kings quarters and we make love in secret by a fire. Thats one of my strange visions.

Answer 10

Sure, I fantasize quite often, even during s*x with my wife.  There's nothing wrong with it, though if it were to become a frequent habit, the relationship could be damaged, not by the fact that happens at all but by the fact that it detracts from the ability of the partner to be a "force" in the fantasy-seeking partner's existence.  And since the real-life situation can never be exactly like the fantasy, it COULD result in person-to-person physical problems.

Answer 11

Well, nobody is perfect so in your fantasy the "someone else" will not have that imperfection.

Say, your gf/bf is poor - In your fantasy, there's someone rich

Their body isn't perfect/ fulfills your wants - pornstar

etc.

I don't think a passing thought like a "what if" is cheating or immoral but obsessing about the fantasy is creepy and the person you're in the relationship with won't enjoy you screaming someone elses name during s*x.