Do you ever miss someone who died so much that you don't know what to do?

Question

My Granny died a year and a half ago...and yes, she was an old woman and it was time, really for her to go....but I miss her so much I can't stand it. I hate that she was afraid to die, and now she's dead and I can't bear it. I need to get over this, but I just can't. This is awful. I think about her constantly. She was the coolest Granny ever.

Answer 1

Before I answer, I would like to say that I'm sorry for your loss.

I do not know the relationship depth that you and your grandmother possessed; however, it appears that you loved her very much.  That seems evident after a year and a half, and that counts for something!! I'm certain that you have stories, laughter and arguments that are provoking these ties.  

Are you reliving the same memories over and over? One thing that has helped me during times of loss is talking to others that knew the departed the best.  For example, talk with those that were close to your grandmother. A relative, a neighbor, or a old friend. Tell them you miss her, and then...don't stop talking.  Have them TELL you about her and not just show pictures.  Find out about the aspects that made her human; both the good...and the bad.

Then talk with your younger relatives at the next family gathering.  Bring what you learned and talk to the family member that reminds you most of your grandmother.  Little by little you will see parts of her in them.   A look, a personality quirk, or even a way they react to the same likes and dislikes toward food.  Over time, you will notice similar qualities in others.  This may help you to realize that your grandmother is always around.  In addition, YOU may become the coolest (insert relative title here) ever!!!  ;)

Dealing with loss the loss of a grand-parent is a difficult thing.  Even when the death is "expected," many still wish that they could be with us longer.  In your case, you WANT to see her again.  Keep a photo of your grandmother in your room, but only ONE.  Keep it in the same place and don't move it.  This will create stability and predictability that may ease your heart.  When your heart and mind becomes more settled, then move it to another location in your room, but not until then.

The above mentioned thoughts are aspects that have helped my friends and I with the passing of loved ones.  Either it be a wife, brother, or grand-parent, know that everyone measures loss differently.  You honor your grandmother with your love, and know that no one will take her place.

Answer 2

I lost my aunt five years ago and I still occasionally think back at what her life would have been like, its nice to see that I am not the only one who has lost a loved one and still misses them. Often times when I go to the cemetery I cry about it.

Think of her as a spirit something that keeps on going and does not die. This is how I often think of my aunt.

Answer 3

My mum - some days I just sit and stare into space - I miss her so much.  I don't think you ever get over losing someone who is precious to you but with time it gets a little easier.  I go outside and night and look at the sky and talk to her - it helps me! Good luck!

Answer 4

this is the problem. we are taught wrong about death. and the heaven c**p is just c**p. Just think your granny is apart of everything now. do you know how powerful and good that is. she is in everything. And you should be really happy you knew her. because the universe is huge. and for your lines to cross and actually spend time together is more then you should ask for. plus who knows. you may meet her again.  

Answer 5

I used to call my elder sister a witch. She used to dominate our lives, in a motherly fashion even after 20 years of her marriage. But when she died at the age of 50 it was a blow to all of us. Especially Dad who used to dote on her. I miss her awful. I don't think you need to get over anything. Your granny is probably glad that someone is missing her constantly. Why would you ever want to get over it?

Answer 6

I'm really sorry to hear that. Death is never fair. I understand how you feel, there are people in life who you connect with in ways that you can't explain and that can change your life forever. People who go in and out of your life without your consent or without your approval and it sucks. People get over the loss of a loved one at different times. There is no timed amount for people to "get over" those who die. Cut yourself some slack, wait a lot. She was your granny, you loved her immensely.She died a year and a half ago, that is not a long time ago. You just have to understand that she loved you, and even though people die, love never does so I hope you know how much she loved you and how much she cared and that she is watching you from heaven. My godmother was afraid to die and she died, and I thought that was so sad. She died in her sleep, about 2 years ago. But The point is that You should never expect to get over your granny's death at a given time, but I hope you know that you need to live your life. Live your life to the fullest, it is probably what your granny would want. I apologize for sounding as though I knew your granny, but I hope you are aware of the fact that you may feel lost, and in pieces, but be aware that your grandma is with you and that she will always be there. You knew who she was and what she would say. If you feel alone or sad talk to her and tell her your problems, she will answer you.  

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel.  It's been nearly 10 years since my dad's dad passed, and occasionally I still miss him.  It's going to hurt for a long time, but eventually the pain will be replaced by fond memories...even if there is still a little sting here and there.  Just remember that she loved you, and she would want you and your family to be happy.  Keep your chin up!

Answer 8

I miss my grandmother so much. She passed away when I was about 4 years old. I barely remember her and my mom talks about her often. I would give anything to see my grandmother again. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if she were alive today. I know for a fact that she is proud of me and everyone else in my family- such as my mom, my aunt, and my uncle (whom are her kids). My mom has pictures of her and she looks just like my grandmother. My great uncle even told my mom that she sounds like my grandmother over the phone. It is awful when a loved one passes away. Keep in mind that she may not be here physically, but she is here spiritually and she is watching over you right now. Your grandmother will always be in your heart. My grandmother will always be in my heart and I think about her all the time. Nobody can get over death. The best way to deal with death is to live your life to the fullest because this is something that your grandmother would want you to do. I wish you all the best.