Do you ever think you're just not a likeable person?

Question

I don't get it. I've never been good at making friends. I'm nice to everyone and I'd never talk bad about people. I take care of myself, so I don't smell bad or anything. I'm normally a little shy but this summer I've worked on that and I've been talking to my coworkers a lot so my shyness doesn't even show anymore.

But still, after all this, I'm just a co-worker to all of them. None of them see me as a friend. I've been really nice to them and I've asked them about their lives/themselves etc...but it's never enough.

It seems like it's always like this. At school, at work, even with my own family, I'm always getting overshadowed by my sister and brothers. It just really makes me wonder if something is wrong with me.

I think for some reason, I'm just not a likeable person. I don't know what it is, but I'm not the type of person that other people are happy to see. I've never been that, and it's to the point where it's sort of depressing.

Anyone else deal with that feeling?

Answer 1

Go out of your way to do the things you like to do in your free time.  If you've wanted to learn to play the guitar-take some lessons, paint a picture take a class, join a hiking club...you know what I mean--when you are doing what you like to do you will meet others that already have that in common with you and you have something you both like to talk about.  Also volunteering at the local food bank or serving others makes you feel good about yourself and you'll have less time to "pick yourself apart" -sounds like you might be a little hard on yourself.  You sound like a very nice person.

Answer 2

It's not you hon. I've felt like that my WHOLE life frankly.  I'm kind of fed up with people and these days I tend to take much kinder to strangers and which is why I enjoy doing charity work a lot more than trying to be friends to people who just are going to stab you in the back.

I think when you work for a cause for the greater good, you find a lot more people like you.  Perhaps they are not always able to come together as full time friends but when you work at something that does GOOD in this world, you will always be surrounded by people doing what you are doing and I find they are the greatest friends because they aren't really asking anything of anyone.

I don't know if that makes sense or not! ;~)

Answer 3

yes Iam a very likeable person,and have been told this a lot of times...people like my voice...my funnyness..my kindness....my softness...and no matter I always have a smile on my face....but I do know it is hard for my big sister to make friends....she is always quiet,withdrawn,shy,don't talk much,,and to get her to crack a smile is very,very, hard...but I tend to hold on to her when we are together with any one around...we are so much older and she is still like that...so I do try to help her out....she talk to me about this and I must say you both are alike....good luck my dear...

Answer 4

you must be boring, uninteresting and uncool

Answer 5

NO WAY well you are very good with words and explain this! you show interest to only get ignored!  yeah that **** sucks!

i got to ask are you a gateway friend?

are you the person who meets some one and then meets someone else and they end up being best friends or what not!

something i found that works for me is to follow up with those interest questions about co workers lifes!  and try as hard as it can be to suppress those feelings of "why don't anyone want to hang out. talk. ect."

i know there is nothing wrong with you or me. we are different i know who i am and i'm slightly odd but nothing to crazy. '

I some times wonder if i come off too needy!  

great question dan!  i always hear following in siblings foot steps are hard!  so you do have a hard hand to play!  but you can do it!

heck we both can do it!

:)

Just smile and don't be bossy or tell others what to do!

use i feel scared when you don't use your bright lights instead of saying please turn on your lights!

lol

Answer 6

because you are just sooo pleasing and society wants excitement.yes, im 16 and this feeling is common.so ur not alone.basically i would suggest to not force being nice,but be kind.when u become comfortable around accepting people open up whatever ur wonderful personality holds other than being nice.because im sure ur more than a nice person.maybe indulge in ur sense of humor.do things/go places where u have interest.that way u can connect with ppl with things of similar interests.from my xperience dont please people that dnt appreciate/respect u.they will probably bring u down.dont change urself to get ppl to like u.the ones who respect u will begin to cherish u as a friend.it may sound cliche but u do have to be urself.otherwise try to have a positive attitude.i hopeful spirit always helps!and i hope my answer did too!

Answer 7

I feel like that sometimes too. I just don't understand it. I just seem to have such trouble even TALKING to people. Let alone making friends out of those people.

Answer 8

You just have to keep opening up. When people get that first impression of you and become accustomed to you being one way that it's hard to change their view of you. You just have to be consistent about it, and make sure when you're around new people you do the same thing.

Most people who are good at socializing can just do it without being conscious of all their actions. So with practice it may seem less like work and effort to you, and I'm sure that comes across in some way to the people you interact with. Just be consistent.

Answer 9

It is not that you are unlikeable, you are just invisible to them.  This is more an issue of them being superficial.  There is probably absolutely nothing wrong with you.  People naturally tend to gravitate toward the life of the party.  You could try and put yourself out there a little bit more, but in the end, try just being happy with who you are.  Search for friends that are more sincere and less shallow.