Do you ever wonder where you'd be today, if you didn't have a baby?

Question

You know when you're newly pregnant, and you have that anxiety because life as you've always known it is never going to be the same?

And then your little one arrives, and that bond develops, and you realize that having a baby was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to you. Eventually you're not able to imagine life without baby...

I know that for many of us, baby changed everything. In some cases, having a baby motivates us to pursue goals we have been putting off, in order to better provide for our families. In other instances, our goals are put on the back burner for a bit, so that we can spend as much time as possible with our little ones.

But, do you ever sit back and wonder what you'd be doing right now, if you never had kids? I don't mean this in a resentful, "baby ruined everything" way. I know that for me, if I hadn't had children, I would probably be dead as a direct result of my addiction. My kids don't keep me clean (God does), but they sure do help. When I got pregnant with my second, I was a sophomore in college, but I had to put my academic interests on hold. I don't mind a bit, but I do sometimes reflect on this "where would I be...". It helps motivate me to get on top of my game, so that I can get there when my baby is older.

Penny for your thoughts, ladies...

Answer 1

Excellent question!

When I found out that I was pregnant I was blown away.  My husband and I were trying to get pregnant for a while.  I had 3 miscarriages before my son blessed us with his presence.  I was starting to get really depressed.  I was working 14 hour days 6 months out of the year and just not feeling fulfilled.  

I know exactly what I would be doing if my son was not around, I would be working and working and working.  What a sad life that would be.  

Answer 2

Yes and No But god gives us these babies for a reason

Answer 3

I would be at the beach in a bikini!  

But I wouldn't trade this life for that one.

Answer 4

i actually wonder the opposite... where would i be if i had had a kid earlier in life. not in a "regretful" way either. but i'm 27 now and i know that my life would be in a totally different place if i had a 5 year old instead of pregnant with my first right now. i think that no matter what decisions you make in life you wonder "what if" you had done the opposite. i often wonder where i would be if i hadn't married my husband and i have NO clue. or where i would be if i hadn't dropped out of high school, again no clue.  

Answer 5

Vegas!!! Honestly, the best job in the world for me is being a mom. I would work at almost any crappy daytime job just to get through the day to pay my bills and go home to my son to my "real" job.  I enjoy my daytime job, but for me, it's only a means to provide for my family and make ends meet.  (Both my husband work outside the home....we could never afford not to work).

I would have 6 kids if I could afford it, but it's not going to happen.  We can barely afford the one we've got!  I hope that I can be as great of a mom as my mother is to me and my siblings.  As pathetic as it may sound, my LIFE is my family and I will always put them before anything else!

Answer 6

I would probably be sitting here at home hoping school would start soon because I was bored out of my mind over summer break!

Answer 7

if it wasn't for my girls i probably still be in the hot little c**p hole that is my home town working min. wage waiting tables. getting pregnant was definitely the thing that my husband and i moving. im so happy being at home with my girls though i do want to go back to school. i want to show my girls that you can do anything you set your mind to. my girls are what motivate me to want to go back to school and better myself. i couldn't imagine my life without them. the single life i once had is now a distant memory and it can stay there. i love my family and they are my #1.  

Answer 8

I'd probably be able to go on a vacation!

Answer 9

I got pregnant very young, and before that, I was this wild party girl who literally didn't have any limits. I should have gotten in a lot of trouble, but my mom was a lawyer and always got me out of stuff. She probably shouldn't have done that. Now I have two beautiful girls, and I'm a perfectly happy stay at home mom. Everything just kind of came into perspective when I had my first, and my wild habits just sort of ended. I moved out of my moms house, bought a house in Tennessee, married the most incredible man on earth, and I couldn't be happier. It made me grow up and realize there's more to life than just partying all the time.  

Answer 10

Well Im sure I would be still working some dead end job because I would have gotten this job, then went out drinking and never woke up and gotten fired, BUT because i was pregnant, that never happened. I would still be out partying everynight, thinking the world revloves around me, and running out of hairspray would be my biggest dillemma.  

Answer 11

I wonder this often, but I know the answer. I would still be working for the same company I'd worked at for years, still annoyed with my boss who treated me a child, still sitting in traffic for 2 hours a day to commute to and from work. Don't get me wrong, I had a great career, great benefits, great vacation time, blah blah blah.

I left a week before I delivered and I've never looked back. I, of course, miss the money, but you cannot put a price on getting to watch your baby grow up before your eyes.  

Answer 12

Yes, I wonder this sometimes. My children are getting older, well some of them and it makes you ponder whether or not you'd be living a different lifestyle if God hadn't decided you needed these children in your life. I am so grate full for them every day. Though sometimes I wonder if I would have gotten a better education, career..because  I only stay @ my job now to help my husband support the kids. I wanted to be a child's right attorney and have a foster home for older kids that never are taken in by other people. Most of the time though I think wow I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for them, then I smile and forget the what ifs. This is what I was intended to do..and I'm great with that!!

Answer 13

I would probaby just be a stay at home wife like I was before we had our baby....

Answer 14

I'd be stuck in a boring 9-5 job, doing the same thing day after day.

Seriously though, I never had these great dreams about a career. All I ever wanted to be was a mother. Granted, I *did* go to college, and have taken steps to make sure I will have a career whenever all my children are in school, but.

When I was 3 months pregnant, I decided that I was going to be a stay-at-home mommy to all my children, and I quit my job that same day. Luckily, I have a husband who also felt the same way, and has done everything in his power to make sure I can continue to stay home.

Answer 15

I know what you mean, Betwixt. A baby causes us to rethink our plans and pave a new way. It's great that your children caused you to think more of yourself and help you through your struggles. God knew exactly what you needed and he blessed you with the best gifts possible.

For me, I was on the path to grad school. I ended up pregnant right after I graduated with my BA though, and that's fine with me. Mr. KS4E and I are very happy with the way things are and I now will tread a different path, go back to school later, and show my son that a mommy can do ANYTHING.

Answer 16

Well I'd certainly be h**l of a lot richer. I'd have a brand new car and go on 3 holidays a year. I think all the time what I'd have / be doing if I didn't have my 2 little ones and then my MIL has them for the day and I don't know what to do with myself. I hate it. The house feels / sounds so empty and that's when I realize how great it is to be a Mum.  

Answer 17

When I first got pregnant I was going through my "rebellious faze" I was out all the time drinking, doing drugs and doing the stupidest things. Once I found out I was pregnant it all stopped (thank god) and I have been keeping my life on track. I was a high school drop out and I just took the final test in order to get my full diploma. I always do wonder what my life would be like now if I didn't have kids, but I have a feeling my life would be completely ruined if I didn't have kids.

Answer 18

all the time, I would prollie be wasting my money on partying, being almost 21 years old. my daughter gave me a purpose in life, she motivated me to get a better paying job and a start on a better life.  

Answer 19

I do, especially on the weekends when all my kidless mates are hitting the town, but I would not trade it for the world. I had my days of being out all weekend, spending countless amount of money on alcohol, waking up with a huge hangover the next day, and now, my weekends are generally quiet, and my money goes towards my house and children.

Answer 20

Becoming a mom actually stopped the "I could be doing this now c**p."  My life is set, I am a mother, there is no, I could run away and join the circus for me now, and for me that is a good thing.  If I think I might be able to do something it drives me more crazy than just knowing I can't do something.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I feel like what would I have done if I DIDN'T have my son.  I didn't think my life was that bad before, but only because I didn't know what I was missing.

Answer 21

Sure, I think about it sometimes, but know my life is so much better with my daughter in it (she's now 5).  She was unplanned, but she is by far the best "mistake" we ever made.  Not saying she was a mistake b/c she was the best surprise I have ever gotten, maybe that's a better way to put it.  She forced her dad and I to grow up, get married (we wanted to and would have eventually), finish school, get good jobs, etc.  Some of my friends still work min. wage jobs at a bar and party every night, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am glad to be past that stage in my life.  

My sweet like girl is the love of my life!

Answer 22

Yeah, I would be no where, I was drinking and partying way too much. Getting pregnant made me grow up and probably saved my life!

Answer 23

Rich :P

Answer 24

I am a new mommy (Elyse is almost 5 months) but my life really has not changed that much since having her.  I still have to work, unfortunately, to support my family but all non-work time is all about the babe.  Previously it was all about me so that would be a change.  Both hubby and I were way past our go out and party/have fun stage years before getting pregnant so having a baby hasn't really changed our social life.  

If anything the biggest change is that now my job is that much more important - to support the little life that depends so much on me - maybe I should get off of Y!A and actually get some work done! lol =)

Answer 25

Interesting question!

I don't really ever wonder what I'd be doing now if I didn't have a child.  Having kids was always part of my plan.

However, I do spend a lot of time wondering what the h**l I did with my time before having him.  I think I wasted a lot of time sleeping in on weekends, working late, partying a little too much, and spending all of my disposable income on stupid, unnecessary things.

Life has become so much richer and fulfilling since having my son.  I love being able to watch him discover new things and it really does allow me to be a kid all over again with him.  Wouldn't trade it for all the what-ifs in the world.

Answer 26

I would probably still be working at the same place as my husband like I was before I got pregnant.We would be working ALL the time practically & trying to pay some bills off.All I did was work & come home & be tired.It was very boring.Life is harder is some aspects but some much sweeter now.

Answer 27

to be honestly i would have gone to college and would probably have a MUCH better job.  

but i would have missed out on these 2 great kids!  i wouldn't take anything back for the world.

Answer 28

I would've probably died from an overdose somewhere in Europe.

I thank God for my husband & my son every single day.

Answer 29

i'd be working in a corporate job making good money but wishing i could stay home & have a baby instead.....

Answer 30

I  would be working full time and out buying whatever I wanted on the weekends like I was before, but I realized after my daughter was born how little I cared about "keeping up with the Jones'", All I want to do is be home with my daughter, I did recently drop to part time YEAH!! But I can't imagine my life without her and wouldn't imagine that life could be any better than it is right now.