Do you feel guilty..?

Question

if you dont pay your little one attention allday? i personaly do,my girl is 18weeks and i like to be talking,singing,playing and reading to her or take her out and about to see different things. i feel sad when i think ive ignored her to clean or cook dinner. so is it just me?x

Answer 1

no i feel the same sometimes my son is 10months now but half the time he does not want the attention but when he does he lets me know

Answer 2

No. I feel guilty that I have neglected my other child, my husband, all of my other family members and myself.  

Answer 3

My son is 17 months now and I had this same thing and still do sometimes and it hits me at night when he wants to cuddle and falls asleep. He looks so sweet asleep and guilt just clouds over like did I play with him enough today, does he feel loved? So I guess I am saying that it might continue. Maybe it is a new mom thing because he never made it to his crib because I was deathly afraid of SIDS and I would have nightmares that something bad would happen to him and I couldn't save him and I would almost be in tears. You do have to remember though you still need you time and you might feel guilty about it, but alot of other moms told me as I went through it that you need your "you" time or you'll go insane.

Answer 4

You don't have to ignore her to cook or clean.  Just put her in a spot where she can see you- a bouncy chair on the kitchen floor, or in the room you are cleaning.  That way, you can go about your business, yet you can still sing, talk, dance for her while you're getting things done.

Another option would be to invest in a sling or soft carrier, so you can wear your baby while doing light housework.  There are numerous benefits to babywearing, and sometimes, it is the ONLY way to get anything done.  My son hates the vacuum, but if he's strapped safe and comfy to my chest, I can vacuum for hours and it won't phase him.

There's still going to be times when you absolutely have to walk away and do something else for a few minutes.  As long as baby is safe and content, you shouldn't let yourself feel guilty.  Stop beating yourself up and go enjoy your baby, okay?  Sounds like you're doing just fine, momma.  Give yourself a pat on the back.

Answer 5

don't feel guilty all those stuff still need to be done, you need your rest she needs her rest don't be guilty for being a good mom.

Answer 6

you do need to have time for your self, otherwise your child will demand your attention all the time.

Answer 7

It takes a while to get over it, but think of it this way:

Taking care of yourself, your home and your partner are also important parts of nurturing your child.  Who cares if you've done the world's most elaborate craft projects and raised a prodigy if she's living in the midst of squalor with two miserable parents?  That has just as many downsides as a little bit of benign neglect.

It's also true that every human being - be they 18 weeks or 18 years or 81 years - needs a certain amount of down time.  Your daughter needs to hang out so she can discover her feet, commune with her stuffed animals and notice that very interesting mobile in her crib.

What you're feeling is natural, but it's misplaced.  Hang in there - it gets easier with time.

Answer 8

yes i feel guilty too, if i spend time cleaning the house or cooking or taking a shower or washing my hair and blow drying it and i put her in her bouncy chair or she plays on her rug on the floor...i feel bad if i leave her to her own devices for too long, i know i shouldnt feel bad as it is good to let them have some time to themselves so they learn to be independent but i would much rather spend my time cuddling or playing with her!

Answer 9

Totally - welcome to the world of Mummy Guilt.

For her to develop though she needs time to entertain herself and learn to be without you right there....so these are good times for her as they are for you.  We all need down time from interaction...time alone.  And your baby will need more of this too as she grows.

It's a perfectly normal thing to be feeling and to some extent it hasn't gone away for me even though mine are older now.

Answer 10

No it isn't just you! I'm exactly the same.  I dote on my son but when I need to do the washing up or have a cup of tea I feel bad!  I expect it is a 'mum' thing because my husband never feels guilty!!

Answer 11

I feel guilty too. I try to get as much done while she is sleeping, but sometimes stuff just has to be done. When your daughter gets older it will  be easier because she will be able to play by herself for a few minutes.

Answer 12

im guessing shes your first... its completely normal. youll get used to it and treasure this time....youll get memories ul treasure forever!

Answer 13

No, I don't. Maybe at first, yes. But now I realize that my whole life can't revolve around him. I know that sounds bad but my whole identity isn't him. I still have a husband, friends, and the house isn't going to clean itself. I have other priorities aside from my baby. Of course if he NEEDS me then I'll drop whatever I'm doing and try to figure out what's wrong but I don't hover over him all day.

Answer 14

hi