Do you feel its wrong, I'm adopted and my parents never want to tell me what race i really am?

Question

my adoptive parents don't have any more family members that i can ask, some people say i look Asian because of my eyes and hair but others say i look Caucasian like my parents..all i know is that both my parents died on the 9/11 incident...i really do care because it can make me feel closer to my parents that way..should i just go up to them and demand an answer or not...idk in not very nice to them..

Answer 1

DEMAND!!!!!!!

Answer 2

You should be allowed to know your heritage. It may even have a bearing on your medical health in the future as some races are more prone to certain diseases or disorders (like blacks and sickle cell).

Hiding it from you doesn't change who you are. I can't imagine why your folks wouldn't tell you unless they are embarrassed that you aren't the same as them.

Keep trying to find out...it could be important information (and not just for your peace of mind).

Answer 3

What's your last name? That would help, because then you could search online for other people with the same last name, and maybe find pictures and stuff.

Answer 4

definetly demand.

Answer 5

You should approach this subject in a very delicate manner;

because your parents now, have a big investment of their hearts, time and finances in making life for you as good as they can manage.

They will understand your curiosity, but you must present in a manner that does not threaten them that you are not happy now.  (Even if you do still feel remorse about your lost parents, try not to let it show too much).  Present your question as "simple curiosity".

Say to your present parent "Can I share something with you?"  then tell them, "You know I love you very very much, and I know all you've done for me, but I can't help sometimes I wonder about my genetic parents."

"I would appreciate whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me about them, please."

This will open the door to a discussion.

Don't expect them to share everything the first time.

They will be testing the waters to see how it affects you afterwards.

Then if all goes well, at a later time, they'll be more willing to share even more with you.

As long as you handle the information well, and don't act out about it ever, then they will share willingly.

^j^

Answer 6

just say you want to know about your parents and that you don't feel like they are any less of your parents. I would think a lot of adoptive parents think when their kids are asking about their birth parents it means they are doing a bad job. In your case it doesn't sound true so make sure they know that and just ask them  

Answer 7

I would try to avoid demanding anything.

If you really feel that you want to know (which is totally warranted) then try to sit down with you adoptive parents and have a conversation about it.  Explain to them WHY you want to know and WHY it's so important to you.  Find out from them why they feel they want to keep it from you.

If you guys all have an understanding of where the other is coming from, it will ease tension and likely lead to a positive result for all of you.

PS.  sorry to hear about your parents.

good luck.