Do you feel like you are violating your child when changing a diaper?

Question

I am a father of 3, a 9 yr. old son, an 8 yr. son, and never had a problem changing their diapers, but now I have a daughter, and I love her so much. But when I change her diaper, I feel like I am violating her, and it makes me feel horrible.

I am not a freak or child molester, and I am a great dad,

does anyone else feel this way about their kids?

Answer 1

I think this is more common with men than alot of women think. My husband is kind of the same way with our daughter and my dad was the same with us 3 girls. But me being a mother, I say, your not violating her. You are just caring for your baby girl. But I understand where you are coming from...

Answer 2

Um...no?  Because if you don't change her diaper you violate her right to live cleanly out of her bodily functions.  You shouldn't be seeing your daughter in a sexual way at all.  I think you either want a way out of having to do diaper duty, or maybe you are secretly having compulsions towards your daughter.   My husband never raised a fuss, just changed her and that was that.  She needed it done and he was her Daddy.  I don't see the problem...

Answer 3

you shouldnt feel like this shes only a baby but yeah ive heard men say this before so it must be a male thing so dont worry your not a freak just a normal strange thinking male like the rest of them, enjoy your little one it prob seems worse because youve been changing boys for so long

Answer 4

I have a son. I've always thought it was natural to just clean him..So I don't understand why you feel bad unless you are doing innapropriate things. And no it's not wrong to care for her . She's a baby. She can't do it herself. And it's not like she will remember daddy touching her genital area anyways lol.

Answer 5

It isn't unusual for men to feel this way in our society.  There seems to be a general suspicion of men around children these days.   I'm sure it will pass and you will grow more comfortable.  

Hey.  You're not just trying to get out of diaper duty, are you?  (Kidding.  My husband would totally try that.)

Answer 6

my man always says the same thing. He always says how weird it is, makes him uncomfortable. oh well, I say. wait until you have to talk to her about s*x or buy her tampon's. lots of fun.

Answer 7

The only thing you need to be thinking about when changing your daughters diapers is that it's your responsibility to keep her clean and dry.  You know your not a perv so you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 8

a diaper change isn't violating anything

now if you had your son's circumcised that would be violating them, that's about equal to molestation in my book

Answer 9

yeah i totally agree i feel so bad sometimes D:

Answer 10

Its the time we live in.Our first baby, a girl, was born in 1950, and i helped MUM when i came from work .Not once did i think think about it.We had 4 great children.Now we are visited by our GREAT grand children i feel totally different about it. A little embarrassed if any one else is there ,but generaly uneasy.I am sure this is because of the massive rise in child abuse, and the ammount of it we see in the meadia. IF YOUR THOUGHTS ARE CLEAN,DONT WORRY.

Answer 11

Sounds like someone has a guilty conscience...?

Your children need you to change their diapers.  Change them, clean them, and put a new one back on.  Thats it.  Anything other than that is creepy.  You are her dad - Why do you even think those things??

Answer 12

Er, what?

Don't be silly. She's a baby, she needs her nappy changed.

Answer 13

Talk to your wife about your feelings.  I doubt your baby girl feels violated by your changing her diaper.  I sort of know how you feel - I feel a little grossed out when I see my nephew (a toddler) without his diaper.

Answer 14

oh daddy don't you worry about that why even let the thought come to mind....do this when your changing her diaper play peek a boo with her keep your mind off of that its understandable because you had nothing but boys before but just distract yourself

Answer 15

I've changed some kids diapers before and thought about it and felt a little funny sometimes. Its scary to think you have so much power over a child, or that others may.  Your daughter does not really know about sexual things yet, so as long as you are treating her well she won't be scarred by the fact a man is changing her.   I think that's just normal.  As long as you stick to business below the waist, you are just fine.  This is a good time to bond with your daughter.  Blow on her belly, tease her, tickle her arms and bond.  Not all daddies change diapers and you should feel special for sharing that time with her.  As she gets older, she may become uncomfortable (probably post diaper) and you may need to change things, but follow her lead and be proud you are helping your wife and spending time with your girl.

I've got some diapers in my future and I know I will be glad to have the help of my hubby- boy or girl.

You might ask your wife to watch you if you are uncomfortable wiping her and she can tell you what you are doing right or wrong - girls are built differently and can be harder to clean up.  Just remember that taking care of this is keeping her healthy, and far from hurting her.

Answer 16

No, sometimes I feel like I need a gas mask to avoid the smell lol. It was a little scary when we brought our son home. We had a daughter and i was used to that...but had to adjust to the needs of a boy's diaper change. I didn't feel stranged..just a little freaked out when his circ was healing. And I got peed on a lot lol. My husbands mowing right now...so I can't ask him about our daughter...but he hasn't ever mentioned anything to me.