Do you feel marriage is an outdated institution?

Question

What are your feelings of marriage in general?

I have always been an advocate of cohabitation, not necessarily marriage. I'm not against marriage; I was married for about 10 years. I'm just wary of it now since mine didn't work out.

Answer 1

no, but i feel it's a religious institution that shouldn't promote state sanctioned special privileges for heterosexuals.

Answer 2

I think the feeling of 'needing' to be married is an outdated one, but the actual institution is as valid as it ever was.  The difference, today, is that cohabitation no longer holds the negative social stigma it once did, and the law recognizes the rights of those who cohabitate.

Not having gotten married til I was 42, I can say that the decision was made for all the right reasons...rather than social or family pressure, or for the purposes of having children.  For that reason, I think we have a much better chance at success, because we entered into it at a later and more mature age, and because we WANTED to...

Answer 3

maybe not outdated but not for everyone. i was married once. i'm still friends with my ex. now i have a daughter with my boyfriend. we live together but we have no plans of getting married.

Answer 4

It is what it is. Some like it, some don't. I'm married and happy.

Answer 5

No its a sacred union between a man and a pregnant woman!

Answer 6

As long as people love each other, and honor God and His laws, marriage will be viable. Not all will work out, because some people are scum, but some will.

Answer 7

i dont see the point of having a peice of paper to claim you love someone..

besides..many ppl have that peice of paper...

doesnt mean they love each other.

Answer 8

I'm trying to come up with a reason to marry my significant other. We live together and have a child. Our finances are separate (it's the way we prefer it). I own the house we live in. He has terrible credit and I have sterling credit, so I don't want to bring mine down by linking it to his.

Aside from some tax reasons and the ability to share each other's health insurance, I can't come up with any reasons.

Answer 9

Marriage is definitely outdated.  It's just another attempt by religions to control people, and religious control is outdated.

Answer 10

You know there's something about marriage that makes the realtionship seem stale and old.  I know some couples who have "shacked" for ten and a dozen years.  They seem really in love and it's as though their relationship is still fresh.

Yet most married couples who have lived together that long say, " If I  knew  now what I new then I would have never gotten married ".  I've come to believe that marriage may not be relevant any longer unless you want a business relationship with joint accounts, tax breaks, etc.  

P.S.  I'm sorry to hear about the attacks on your account.  I don't know why someone would pick you to do that to.

Answer 11

Perhaps it is outdated. Perhaps I am an outdated woman.

Answer 12

No.

If you want to get married, then there is nothing wrong with it.  People have been doing it for thousands upon thousands of years and the reason is that (most) people have a natural drive to be in a committed relationship with another human being.

I think that marriage needs to update to be more inclusive (I'm pro-same s*x marriage), but that as long as you want one, you should be able to get one.

I am somewhat iffy on the different tax structure, though.  I feel that converse to everyone having the right to marry, everyone should have the right NOT to, and because of that, having tax benefiets for a married couple over a non-married couple or single person isn't necessarily fair.

Answer 13

No, we need to focus on the family unit as a whole. That is the only way we can ban together and survive. How can it be outdated when everyone is still doing it. They just aren't staying together like back in the day. I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out, but our divorce rate is too high and that is something that society needs to look at. It all started with women's liberation!

Answer 14

Yeah I think it is, seems like for a guy it's the equivalent of having a ball and chain attached to your leg.

Answer 15

Yes. I think its outdated.

Answer 16

Meh... I'm two ways on this one.

On one hand, if you just cohabit and not get married, it's less complicated if it fails.

On the other hand, you marriage symbolises alot, and this can be important to many relationships.

I think I will personally get married - but only if I am the most sure woman in the world about my choice. It may never happen.

Answer 17

Yes, i think we will have a different model soon enough, possibly a return to polygamy.

If it is deflation we are heading for we will see a great many changes.

Answer 18

I don't think it's outdated, but I also don't think it is something that everyone should do or want to do.

For me, it has nothing at all to do with religion (I wouldn't get married in a church, I would get it done by the state) and more to do with saying that you found a person who is right for you, and no matter what happens, you will remain loyal and work out your differences.

Not that you need marriage to remain loyal/work out your differences, it's just that the symbolism would mean a lot to me in telling everyone else that I found that person.

Of course, if my partner ever cheated on me, I might view marriage differently... Thankfully, I'm pretty sure that who I choose will not do such a thing.

So, to try to bring those thoughts together (:P) I think that it completely depends on the individual, and being married is not the only (or even best) choice for people.

Answer 19

Marriage is no longer the same as it was 100 or even 50 years ago. There are few actual benefits and none that outweigh the probable loss when ONE of the two involved simply changes their mind or finds a better deal.

The marriage "contract" is anything but a contract. In a contract, one party does not get to invalidate the contract for no reason without some type of penalty. Marriages can be, and frequently are ended by one party, which just so happens to often be the one that profits from ending it both immediately and in the future.

Anyone marrying it this day and time is someone I would like to interest in selling oceanfront property located in North Dakota.

Answer 20

I am with you.  I think it is more important for people who wish to cohabitate that they get along in a healthy environment.  I too am divorced, love being single, and scared to death to remarry.

Answer 21

I am divorced too and scared to death of marrying again. Mainly because my marriage didn't work out, and because I need to work on myself a little too before getting into something like that again. I have a girlfriend that I really care about, but I don't think I would marry her.

Answer 22

I frequently go back to the English movie where this womanizer gets a girl pregnant, she goes thru an abortion; the dead baby is lying in the next room.

In later development the girl gets married, has a child, and during the Baptism ceremony, the stud is skulking around watching the goings on at the church. Makes you feel that time tested conventions of civilized society have some merit.

Answer 23

I am too old to find somebody to marry me now and so I think marriage is an outdated institution for me.  But I know some people who are older than me but could find a person to marry them.  I think marriage may not be an outdated institution for them.

Answer 24

Raising kids is hard, best done by couples, Marriage makes it harder to walk away

Answer 25

It just doesn't interest me. I like being in a relationship, I just have no desire to get married.

Answer 26

I agree with you; cohabitation is a much better option these days. Nobody needs to get married anymore.

Answer 27

It's okay for those who want it, but it's overrated and pushed as an ideal. Cohabitation makes far more sense in our societies and is only the poor relation because married couples get better rights and more help. Even the fake and failed marriages.

Answer 28

I agree with Tristan.  Marriage needs to be updated if people really want it to keep up with the times.

However, on the basis of that, I can't help but feel like most people don't have the mindset that was needed to keep marriages "healthy."  By that, I mean that most only seem to be committed when things are going good.  It seems like cheating is becoming a bigger and bigger problem, whether it be through emotional or physical affairs.  Couples in marriage seem to be stereotyped as trapped and devoid of any kind of excitement, only having s*x once a year, and other things like that.  I think if people really made a committment to the other person, regardless of if they're married or not, things would be better off in general.

Answer 29

I don't think marriage is outdated for one major reason: it's a contractual agreement with someone.  I've spent the better part of a year helping a very close friend try to keep his common-law (censored by Y!A) keep from getting half his condo when she walked out on him.  (It's in his name, she said at the time she never wanted part of it, and then she left and suddenly decided it could help pay for her debts)

I think everyone who advocates cohabitation is more than entitled to living their lives however they wish, but I also think that there are far too many people out there who assume they know the laws when it comes to break ups of common law marriages. (There are NO guarantees!)  The law isn't perfect when it comes to divorce either, (far from it) but at least you have far more definite protection of your own interests.  It IS a legal contract.

So I'm wary of relationships with people built only on their word at the time.  I'm sorry that's not a happy, romantic answer, but life ain't always sunshine right?

(BTW, my friend is settling out of court and will be keeping his condo.  More than she deserves, quite frankly)

Answer 30

Marriage is not and will never be outdated. Marriage is wonderful, and I do think it is a higher level of commitment than cohabitation. Cohabitation is not something I support at all. I don't think it's healthy for a couple - did you know that the divorce rate is actually higher among couples who lived together before they married? It's true.

And please don't take this wrong, because I don't mean it as a judgment of you - but the fact that your marriage failed doesn't reflect on the institution of marriage as a whole. Marriage isn't bankrupt or worthless or outdated just because some marriages fail. Marriages fail when one or both spouses are unwilling to put enough effort into it. If a couple works on their marriage, keeping it weeded and watered and fertilized as it were, it will be a beautiful relationship.

Answer 31

No I don't.To be honest, I would rather be married legally and morally.But now a days it's sometimes necessary to just live together for economical reasons.Many people and seniors are living together instead of getting married just so they can afford to make ends meet.I know a few people doing this,and it bothers them that they had to go against they're beliefs.But they couldn't make it if they were married.Loss of money and insurance if they got married.

The one thing about it I don't like is that kids are jumping into living together so easily,that they get themselves into trouble.

And we have too many young,uneducated parents.I was one of them.I had my first at 18yrs.And I spent yrs trying to pick up and carry the pieces.

It basically comes down to ...People should be able to marry for love if they want.Not have figure out what works out better financially better.