Do you feel most of the problems people mention in G&WS are exaggerated ?

Question

Men seem to complain about their rights regarding children in courts. I believe women are given slight preferential treatment (if all else is equal, they will tend to go with the mother), but men on here make out as if a woman who is a drug addict with an elaborate criminal record would have a better chance then an upstanding father with a stable home environment and career, of being awarded custody. That's ridiculous...

The same goes for women complaining about the pay differential that exists. Yes, the overall careers that women CHOOSE versus those of men, tend to be less valued by society and so pay about 70 cents on average to every dollar a man makes on average. To claim that the Finance department checks off whether you're a woman when you are hired, denoting a 30% decrease in pay versus what they would have paid had they hired a man, is also ridiculous.

I guess the question is, are these people that deluded, or are they lying on purpose ?

Answer 1

I think you're mainly right.

I would disagree that the pay gap is exaggerated - but I do see it as women's own problem to sort out - if you don't want to pay the female parenthood penalty then either don't have kids, or pick a man who is willing to do an equal share.  At the same time, I do believe that women are paid less overall for the same hours / skills and I would like to see more monitoring of that - this would also pick up any pay disparities for men, as well as agist, racist and 'disability-ist' pay disparities, so wouldn't favour any one group in the long term.

Just to comment on the custody issue - where men contest custody, the outcomes slightly favour them (63%).  Where custody is not contested the woman is granted custody 70% of the time, so I think the issue is that some men don't feel able / confident of contesting for custody, but once again, I feel this is their problem to sort out - they need to be more committed, more involved from the start and they need to be willing to step up to the plate if the relationship breaks down :-)

Answer 2

applauds eleanor b...

she's so smart.

Answer 3

What!?!? I would NEVER exaggerate!!!!   *humph*    :)

Answer 4

No, not at all, and what bothers me the most is thinking that this is all in one's head. There was sexism, there is sexism, and there will always be sexism. Why? Because men and women have different compositions, and so men will always say that women are "naturally" subservient to men.

Modern judicial history has given preference to women because back in the old days, children were taken away from mothers in divorce proceedings because the man had the money, leaving the woman childless and penniless. That's why there is child support. It isn't about money, it's about good parenting, and more often than not, the woman is a better parent.

Like you said, women are valued less, so they make less money. People also believe men are better leaders, more credible, trustworthy. Many times, it's the inner feeling that people have when they hire someone. If you look at a man and a woman applying for the same job, many will think, with no real good reason, that the man would do a better job, so they pay him more. The best example of this is in politics. There are hardly enough women in legislation because people believe, with no good reason, that a man would be a better leader than a woman. Society and culture need to change to give women an equal footing against men.

Answer 5

Well, I ran out of experiences with other people when it comes to these issues.  I'll never post a question without an experience attached (Not unless I feel like being silly or am purposely trolling...which I'm not really good at lol.)

I think it all ends up with experience though.  Many of these people never experience the problems that they question.  For instance, I jumped on the crazed bandwagon of "Abortion".   I knew that I could never make a good point regarding it because I have never experiened it myself.  The same thing goes with marriage, the Criminal Justice system, etc, etc.   But some of these issues are a healthy cause for concern, especially when it directly influences the future or both a man and a woman.   I think people are more deluded than lying on purpose :P.....But..I can't really say that they are deluded either, especially when playing devils advocate.

Answer 6

Hard to say. The problem is that too few people look at these situations the way they ought to be looked at: on an individual basis.

Answer 7

yes

Answer 8

whether they are deluded or lying on purpose, it seems the questioner here do believe that we do have this problem that the people exaggerate the problems.  

but are we exaggerating this problem of people exaggerating problems?  

may be we are deluded or we are lying to ourselves on purpose that the people are exaggerating the problems, to get away with the problems.

Answer 9

You couldn't be more right!!!

The issues brought up here are highly exaggerated, and don't occur in every day life.  Yes, they do exist...but certainly not to the extent you would think if you believed all posted here!

Mostly, I think its a venting board.  And, as such, I guess it serves its purpose.  I will admit to getting frustrated or aggitated from time to time, but less and less.  I consider the source at all times, and move on to more productive questions.

Answer 10

lol....isnt that a huge part of debate?

take a fact...which both men are disadvantaged with fathers rights...and the pay gap are both documented facts.

and then add a little drama.

kinda like prolife...that child could invent the cure for cancer!  pro choice...what about rape!

Answer 11

why get involved with a drug fed female to begin with poor choices result in poor results

Answer 12

You should realize that some things are just ALOT harder from some people. Anyway, their drama keeps things interesting.