Do you feel that a foster mom should celebrate mothers day?

Question

I'm a foster mom in addition to being a mom to bio and adoptive kids, and I celebrate mothers day equally with all my children, whoever happens to be with us at the time!

We don't do much, hubby and I have a picnic with the kids then a family get together.

Anyway, a comment by a family member was "what are you doing with your foster kids on mothers day"?

Her feeling was that my foster kids shouldn't celebrate mothers day with us because I'm not their mom.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Yes of course.   ALL mothers should be honored on Mothers day

If the State would tell me who my foster mother was when I was a baby, I'd be sending her a card too!  but shhhhhh I'm adopted so it's all a big friggin secret

Happy mothers day

Answer 2

You are doing all the things a mother would do, so yes, do celebrate Mothers day with them too. Plus it wouldn't be nice for them to feel left out.

Answer 3

I think celebrating mothers day with you foster kids is a great thing to do. Keeping it normal and positive is going to have a positive effect on them.

Keep it going, nothing wrong with it at all.

Answer 4

I think that's stupid, you are about the closest thing to a mother they have and you should celebrate with them.  That family member should mind their own business.

Answer 5

I think that it is great for foster moms to celebrate with their children, blood related or not. Have a Happy Mother's Day!

Answer 6

any person that steps up to take on the mother or father role is a mother or father. You don't have to deliver someone to be their mom. A mom is there every day, making sure they brush their teeth, feeding them, disclipling them, etc. Mothers day is a day to really appreciate the motherly role in the child's life.

Answer 7

A woman who cares for children on a daily basis is a mom. Foster children are your children too, the legality of it makes no difference. The foster kids should spend the day with you as well!

Answer 8

When we had foster children we did everything the same as we did with our other children.  I was their here and now mom.

Answer 9

I think your family member is goofy.

Answer 10

I think you should. Who spends all her time with those kids. You deserve your day with the kids.Bless you for taking those kids to your heart.

Answer 11

You deserve the best Mother's Day...its a celebration of the women that affect children's lives in positive way.  Have great day with all your kids.

Answer 12

And the other alternative would be to leave the foster kids out of the celebration and really drive home the message.

Some people just don't think.

Answer 13

I always celebrated Mother's Day with my foster kids.  Whether permanently or not you are their mom for now and, in my experience, the kids have benefited from being included in the stable traditions of the family.

Answer 14

I totally think you should celebrate mothers day!!!!You are a brave person to be a foster mother!  Some foster children arent the best behavers, as you could probanly tell, but I'm sure you do well with handling that, so you DEFINITELY DESERVE MOTHERS DAY.  Oh, and the lady who doesnt think its right, she isn't aware of the strength and courage it takes to do things like that.  :)

Answer 15

You are a mom to them no matter what anyone thinks... and a mom to them when they need it the most...  What you are doing is a wonderful and beautiful thing... you should be celebrated...  Have a great day Sunday!

Answer 16

I believe a foster mom is still a mom so yes they should celebrate mothers day.  There is no rule saying it is only for biological mothers or anything.  I think that adoptive, foster, surrogate and biological moms and even grandma should get to celebrate mothers day.  When i was younger and wasn't a mom yet my nephews even got me a mothers day card that said "happy mothers day to a great aunt" because they said i was such a big part of their lives like a mother figure.

Answer 17

I think it's not only stupid but cruel. Why separate the foster children and making them feel as if they don't belong when they probably already feel odd and pushed around. No, you are right, go with your heart and do your picnic with all children and don't listen to anyone else's input.

Answer 18

Of course you should celebrate with them. You celebrate with your biological kids, and you are the foster kids mom.

You may be the only mom they've ever known and they need that mom-kid day. Personaly, I think the relative should mind their own business, but that's just me.

Answer 19

abosloutly! what if in those kids situation, they dont feel that thier own mother deserves a mothers day? Those children deserve to be able to share that day with someone who makes them feel safe and loved..and if that woman is you, rock on! i think foster moms are a special breed of mother...because its something that you dont HAVE to do. Good job mama!

Answer 20

We always did, but we also helped them make presents for their actual mom, but before we went off dad would make a breakfast and they would give me their presents.  It was a thank you for my role in their lives.  We just called it "foster mom" presents.

Also depending on where mom is, sometimes they have no contact wth mom, and you spend time helping them grieve through that day, which is one of the many reasons foster moms need celebration as well!

Answer 21

Absolutely, you should celebrate with your foster kids! You might want to talk to them about it- they could be sensitive about it, since your not really their mom. Let them know how you feel- that you think of yourself as their Mom and it would mean alot to celebrate with them.  Depending on the situation, let them know their own Mother is not forgotten. They may want to talk about her too. Regardless you are certainly worthy as a foster Mom, to celebrate with your foster kids, because what makes a mom is  not just biological!

Your relative needs a lesson in sensitivity basic manners.

Answer 22

Of course you should celebrate.  You are called a foster"MOM" you are standing in as a mom figure, CELEBRATE

Answer 23

some foster moms are the only mother figure alot of children have and they should not miss out on the things in life that a real mother would do. you are there for them to love and guide and give them structure in their life as a mother so yes celebrate mothers day with them. you are the mom that they have at the time. Enjoy and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!!

Answer 24

Let's see... you are feeding these kids, making sure they have clothes on their backs, loving them, nurturing them, and basically doing everything a mother does for her children. So yeah, I think that as a foster mom, you have just as much right to celebrate mother's day as biological or adoptive mother.

Answer 25

I think that you should. Even though your not their bio mum, you are probably still a motherly figure to them.

Have a nice mothers day! :)

Answer 26

Of course you should celebrate mother's day with them. You're the mom substitute if nothing else and not doing so won't help them feel as if they belong. If the children have that same sentiment and don't want to participate, let them out of it, but don't skip it altogether.

Answer 27

who better than you! Aloving person that opens their heart and home to a child in need. Stupid thoughtless words should be discounted and deleted. Happy Mothers Day!

Answer 28

YES i think you should.....you are their primary care-giver and for now...their foster mother........it would be very unfair to those children to leave them out...Many chldren who are being fostered are so because of situations which were not conductve to their wellbeing and i think it is important to love them as much as possible....i dont mean to unsult your family member but i think it was very cruel and shallow and narrow minded to say the least for them to say that.

Answer 29

absolutely!

happy mother's day!

Answer 30

I think that is the best thing ever that you celebrate mothers day with your adopted children also because not only does it celebrate you but it celebrates the adopted children by letting them know they have a mom that loves and cares for them. Evidentally they are in foster care for a reason and you took them in your home and treated them with love and compassion and as your OWN children.That is what I define as a mom! Anyone who would have a problem with that should not be a parent or be allowed around my children because that is just disrespectful to you and your children. Just because they are asopted does NOT mean that they are not important.And ALSO in their eyes YOU ARE their mom....not the person who gave them up whenever they did and for whatever reason...you are there now not them so why shouldn't they celebrate you as their one and only mother. Tell that chick to buzz off and have the time of you life with  ALL your children!

Good For you that you can rise up above stupid remarks and love those children equally!

GOOD JOB!!

Answer 31

you're a foster MOM!!!  of course you should celebrate with them.  family member just blurted something out without actually thinking about it i think.