Do you feel that being a homeschooled child you have been deprived of experiences?

Question

My husband and I are considering homeschooling as an option for our son. He is only seven months old, but we won't to take all things into consideration. My husband was all for sending him to a public school with a good football program, that was until Tim Tebow came around. Now he is all for it. He might not even excel at football.........

What I would like to know is.... Do you feel like by being homeschooled or having homeschooled your child you have been deprived of experiences other children have had? Like prom, homecoming, high school friendships, sending your kid off on their first day of school?

Answer 1

We homeschool our 12 year old.  Let me tell you some of her activities....soccer, art, choral singing, Tae Kwan Do, horseback riding, special science classes, friendships from all these groups, plus all the neighborhood kids.

Most areas have homeschool proms.  High school friendship?  Any friend you make during the teen years can be just as valuable as a homeschool child.  Sending your kid off on the first day of school?  How about sending your kid off on the fist day of whatever homeschool class he is in?  

Make the decision that is right for your child - but don't base it on experiences that, in the end, don't matter.

Answer 2

I was homeschooled up until college and I absolutely loved it! I never felt like I missed anything and in fact I still went to homecomings and proms and ball games and such. I was active in my church and I took piano lessons and that is where I made my friends and from there I met their friends and their friends friends and I wound up having great friends! I think that it all depends on how you bring up your son/child. My parents homeschooled my two brothers and I and yet we didn't live in a bubble; my parents were very down to earth. My parents also gave us the option once we got old enough to have an opinion to go to a private/public school or stay homeschooled. I was never forced to be homeschooled but it was the best for me and what I wanted to do. I mean hey, I got to wake up and "go to school" in my pajamas and I usually had all of my work done by noon so I was done for the day! It was great! I could work at my own pace and if I had problems than my mom was there to help me.

Answer 3

My daughter just went to the local schools JR OTC Military Ball last night. She also swims for the Swim team there. She takes a couple of classes that I felt overwhelmed with as well. I don't feel she misses out on anything and is a better rounded child because I use school as a "tool" not a subculture to immerse my child in.

Have you checked your local school systems regulations on letting homeschoolers be involved with the schools on a limited basis? By the way, don't just go on one persons answers. Keep asking on up the "chain of command." Some people my not know all the facts on what is actually allowed. We had two people say we could not do this , then we found one who got us the information we needed and she was in. Be nice and polite though, it really just comes from them not being informed most the time.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I sent two of my kids off on their first day of school and let me tell you it wasn't all it's cracked up to be.   I'm so thankful I didn't send my third.

My kids have been hs'd for almost 5 years now.  They don't feel they've been deprived of anything. Rather, they have gotten the best part of the deal.

They've been able to participate in so many things that their friends in school can't.  

They've been extras in a movie, belong to a film school (they write, produce, direct and act in their own movies), and get a chance to see TV shows being made.   (and we're in Canada not California)  

They've taken fencing, golf, skiing and snowboarding lessons just this last year.  

None of my kids have any interest in going back to ps.   We have freedom to do a lot while their friends sit in a classroom looking out a window.

Answer 5

Prom, homecoming, high school friendships-from a public school standpoint, your child would not be deprived at all...

There are great social networks through the homeschooling community. Parents who get together with their kids so the parents can have moral support and the kids get the social interaction from other kids being raised by like minded parents...

Honestly, you are able to have total control over EVERYTHING your child does-going on tons of outings and using those as leasons, field trips all over-even over nighters. You can go to the ocean, aquariums, zoos, even just the library. Turn store outings into math leasons, cooking muffins can become a leason in nutrition, math (measurements), physics/science (WHY did that batter/liquid turn into a solid that is now safe to eat/delicious!?)... LIFE is your leason planner... not to mention there are TONS of extracuricular things like soccer, music leasons, swimming, going to a roller skating rink/ice skating... the sky is the limit.

The social scene in public high school is NOT something a parent should desire for their child and I'm thrilled you are looking into this.

I was in public high school 7 years ago for one year and it is cut throat. I would never want to subject my children to the constant social pressure to be as good, smart, pretty, popular, athletic, whatever as goes on in school. A lot feel it is "just part of growing up" but realistically, it is a huge source of inner turmoil for kids. Not to mention, I can tell you, the school dances are absolutely disgusting anymore so your son would be better off not being a part of it. Homeschooling your child will give him the best possible start if you take advantage of all the networks and resources out there...

God bless and good luck! :)

EDIT: homeschooling is also so much more natural to a child. You can totally design their leason plan to meet their individual needs, you decide what/where/when/how/why they learn a given subject/leason and again, it is catering TOTALLY to your child, not a standarized ciricula set out by a governing body who doesn't know your child and his individual needs...

Answer 6

My older kids are 13, 10, 9, and 8. Maybe they don't quite have the perspective you want, as older teens, but they'll all quite cheerfully say that they have MUCH more experience in the real world now that they have the freedom to explore it on their own terms, on their own schedule. They don't feel deprived at all, because we can travel all over the country, which we couldn't do (or were limited by school schedules) before hand.

They play sports (and do better because they can practice at peak times of day). They play instruments (and do well because they can practice whenever they want) They can hang out with friends, they have gone to dances with the city parks and rec (who regularly have not only teen dances, but daddy/daughter and mommy/son dances) They have friends. In fact, they have friends who are older teens, homeschoolers who don't ridicule them based on their age. The kids HAVE had their 'firsts', first time to be dropped off at the zoo for classes, the first time to be dropped off at space camp, the first time for scout camps and band camps and sports camps. Why is the 'first day of school' any more special than those days? They are all reflective of our children maturing and developing, and there is no more intrinsic value in public school than any other environment where those firsts occur.

Don't let these arbitrary items make your choices for you. Look at what your final goal is, and look at your personality as well as your sons, and then make your choices. Practice attached parenting now, and see how homeschooling develops naturally out of this whole relationship you share with your son. Good luck, have fun!

Answer 7

I was homeschooled for 1st-3rd grade, and while I liked it academically, I was socially bored. I'm in public highschool now, and it's fine, but I would never recommend it. It's good to have a wide peer group, but the bureaucracy is amazingly ridiculous. It's a toss up...if you do homeschool though, make sure there are plenty of homeschooling groups in the area, and consider how it will effect you (or whoever is staying home with your son).

Good luck

Answer 8

I regret being homeschooled....

I've missed, and am going to miss out on alot....

You can't turn back time though, so I'm going to deal with it, I feel it's a little late to go back now....

So yes, I feel I missed out on the things that mean more to me than acting (I'm an actor)....

It's been a better and easier schedule, and I do things on my own time....

But overall I regret it....But I can't speak for everyone, but it's something I don't recommend....

=/

Answer 9

I am a junior now and have been homeschooled my whole life, and want to tell you that I LOVE being homeschooled. One of the things I love the most is that you are so much more independent and organized.(You're in charge of your school work in your teens, and really learn about management of your time) Another thing I love about it is that I can schedule my life MUCH easier! I have a lot of interests in the arts and I can actually schedule my school around my music lessons instead of the other way around. For example, my private music instructor couldn't take me in the afternoon today, so I just went in the morning and did school after! Oh and about experiences, I've been to asked to two proms and a couple other dances in my life because I have so many friends from dance and all the other places I go. I am a very outgoing person and have a ton of friends! Homeschooling is a great way to keep in touch with your kid during the important years of his life.  I understand that homeschooling isn't for everybody, but it certainly was and is the right choice for me. Good luck on your decision!

Answer 10

Seriously, how important is prom?!  What is it with people that are/were public schooled that you think school dances are a defining point in a teen's life?  I just don't get it.  Could your high school experience be summed up in one 'magical' night?  Probably not.  

I was homeschooled and I feel sorry for all my public schooled friends that missed out on so much.  So what they had prom and homeschoming, my homeschool group had them too.  So what they saw their friends everyday, at least when I saw my friends it was because we were hanging out and not becuase we were sitting in a room listening to a teacher lecture.  There's some quality social time for ya.  Honestly, public schoolers are the people that miss out on more family time, more educational freedom, less peer pressure, more social time, diverse social opportunities, and a greater advantage at getting into the college they want.  

I did not miss anyhting as a homeschooler and I homeschooled K-12.  I got into college just fine, I was always busy with 'after school' activities, and I have never been lacking in friendships or the self-confidence to make friends.

Answer 11

not at all. I have been in a Gym and swim program at a local YMCA (haven't gone in about 3 years). I am going to a community collage for my senior year of High school. I've bean involved in Home school groups and Co-ops.

Answer 12

hate to say it but homeschooling is great and all but ALOT of people really hate homeschoolers for some reason...especially if they are athletically and academically successful (jealousy perhaps).  I would not be to worried about the social aspect of this because you can easily get your child involved in other sports after school, this would really help their social problems.

Answer 13

I've homeschooled my 10yo since he was 6 (at his request) and he doesn't feel like he's missed out on anything.  Heck, half the neighborhood kids have asked their parents to homeschool because they want his schedule and activities!

From my 10yo:

*No.*  I feel like they've been left out!  I get to go where I want to go, and do what I want to do.  Also, I get to choose my curriculum, and if I need a break that day, I can just take it.  (I don't take breaks often, just when I need them.  I get done with my work before kids are out of school, but I have to stay focused.)  {Mom - he's 2-4 years ahead of grade level in many subjects and chooses to do school most Saturdays.  He just likes it and wants to get ahead!}

Because I'm homeschooled I've been able to play whenever I want, and sometimes I even get to play as part of my curriculum.  I can go on field trips more often and I can see my friends during the day.  I can work on my Scout merit badges whenever I want - they count as school - and I can study whenever I want.  (By the way, I kind of like studying.)  My mom does have high expectations and limits for me, which I like being able to meet.  Who wouldn't?

I am able to have parts in plays, volunteer at places like the library and for Scout projects, and I get to visit really cool museums and nature centers.  I get to work on my own projects.  Here's some that I have coming up this summer: plant and tend an organic garden, study animal biology (zoology), be in another play, and study electricity and electronics (I plan to build a set of speakers from scratch).  I'm also going to learn about archaeology and art history next fall.

I get to play baseball and basketball, and I've done gymnastics.  I can play any sport I want - I just need to show that I'm up for it.  I get to play against public and private school kids in the city league (I play on a homeschool team) and we usually win!  I like to play - it's a lot of fun and it teaches me not to be a bad loser (when we do lose) and how to be a good encourager, even to the other team when the game is done.

I wouldn't want to go to public school because my mom loves me more than any teacher in the world (by the way, I do have the choice).   I still get to see kids at co op, the library, Scouts, and at their houses (or my house).  I feel like my friendships are better because I have a wide range of kids to choose from - not just the kids I'd be in a classroom with.

Hope that helps!

Answer 14

I was homeschooled from 4th grade and up.  I was very angry with my parents because I really wanted to have friends and go to prom, have boyfriends, stuff like that.  We were not involved in any outside social groups, so my only friends were my brothers, and I often felt excluded from them.  I was very, very angry about being homeschooled.  Further, my parents were not suited to educate us, and they didnt really try.  So homeschooling was actually "stay at home and watch TV all day."   I feel that if you have your child enrolled in some sort of club where the same children are always present, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  

  Anyway, I'm worried about the pressure you're putting on your baby to play football.  The question isnt whether or not he excels at the sport, but if he even has any interest in it.  If you're already so psyched about him playing sports, he's going to feel like he's disappointed you if he doesn't play, when maybe he'd rather pursue music, or art, or science.   I didn't think parents still had expectations like this for their kids.  Anyway, just a thought =P

Answer 15

As an unschooling parent, I wouldn't change it for anything.  As with any choice, you never really know what life would be like if you chose the other, but I have no regrets.  

I think my kids have had experiences that they wouldn't have had if they'd gone to public school, but of course other experiences they didn't have.  I think what they've done has been wonderful and fun, but again, we can never know the other.

There are plenty of firsts in life, there are dances and friends everywhere.  Those things are limited or more special with traditional school.  At least not from my own experience.  

We all live 24/7, no one is missing out on those hours people just live them differently.  

Good luck :D

Answer 16

I was homeschooled until 4th grade and loved it! For me the whole prom, homecoming etc really doesn't matter because I am in public school right now and frankly I have no interest in going. I know, call me crazy :).

So many people complain about homeschooled children being 'socially-ackward' and not having any friends, but that is so untrue. Growing up I was in dance classes, swim class, on a t-ball team, I went to homeschooled gym and art classes at a local YMCA and so much more! If a child has activities like that in my eyes there is NOTHING wrong with homeschooling.

I had a pyschology teacher try and tell my class that homeschooling is horrible and parents who 'deprive their kids of normal lives like that' should be considered abusive parents and other ridulous junk like that. Man was he surprised when I completely called him out on that one. I was usually a very quiet person in his class, but I can tell you that day I talked more in that class then I did in any other class! I wasn't going to let him tell my classmates false information about something that was apart of my childhood.

Anyway, I'm rambling :). The point is, no I didn't feel left out. I loved my childhood and if I could go back and do it again I wouldn't change a thing! Yeah public school is kind of nice...I guess...but I loved being homeschooled so much more.