Do you find it hard to explain?

Question

why you chose to adopt from a foreign country?

I have noticed many people are angry with Americans, and Britons alike for adopting from foreign countries. It's as though they don't understand that implications of American adoptions. I know a "parent" can sign over his/her rights, give the baby up for adoption, then a few years later, recant and actually get the child back. Whereas internationally, you don't have that problem. Do you explain that to them as well as the higher cost? I'm just curious how you went about it or plan to go about it.

Answer 1

I kinda have the same question, I am giving my healthy child up for adoption and I found that it is easier, quicker and less costly for  birth parents to go to another country and adopt. The regulations are not as strict.  So it became a bit harder for me to find the right family because of this.

EDIT: THERE IS NOT A SHORTAGE OF DOMESTIC INFANTS..NO ONE COMPETED FOR MY CHILD..LOL THERE ARE JUST LOTS OF REGULATIONS A STEPS DOMESTICALLY.

Answer 2

I think all children need to be adopted, but I find it sad that more and more Americans are adopting in other countries when our very own country has all these children in orphanages right within reach waiting for a home.  Don't tell me it's cheaper when celebrities are doing it.  What about kids in the USA? I also think it will also be harder when the children from other countries get older and want to know information on their birth families and heritage.  What do those adoptive parents do then?

Don't get mad at me b/c I think kids in our country need just as much help as other countries.  That doesn't mean I think we forget them though.  Yes, I do think it's important for them to be able to trace their heritage.  If you're not adopted, than you can't understand the importance of that.

Answer 3

you can recant in America if you want your child back?  are you sure?  i need to know.  i gave up my child for adoption and i don't want the father of my child to try getting him back.  we both signed papers signing over rights to the adoptive parents.   has anyone in America actually gotten back their child?

Answer 4

There are very strict laws in place in every state of the US regarding consent, revocation periods, and contesting consent. In order to "recant" a signed consent to relinquish the birthparent must contest the adoption on the grounds that their consent was derived under coercion or fraud or was for some other reason invalid.

Fathers especially are not given much leeway in this regard. If they signed then they have little recourse. It's those that didn't sign, weren't notified of the adoption, or unnamed that have tried to regain custody and in some cases won.

It is a very rare occurence for anything like that to happen "years later" and usually there is a known risk at the time of the adoption (father was not known or named so couldn't consent, etc.)

I see very little difference in the costs between International and Domestic, especially with travel cost and time off work factored in.

There are many valid reasons to adopt Internationally, including simple preference, nobody should have to resort to inaccuracies to justify their choice.

All that being said, are the people that seem angry or demanding justifications also adoptive parents? If they aren't then they don't know what they are talking about and no explanation is needed, in my opinion.

Answer 5

My aunt adopted two little girls a few years ago from Ufa, Russia and it was the best thing that ever happened to our family. It gave us the opportunity to learn about a new culture. She did consider adopting domestically, but many of the children were 13 or over and had several behavioral problems; and it takes forever to get an infant.

As for being cheaper to adopt internationally, i think it depends on the agency you work with. My aunt's entire adoption including papers and travelling cost over $30,000 dollars which is about the same as domestic adoptions.

Everyone we've met has been interested in the international adoption and never criticized my aunt's decision. although, there have been some immature adults that made fun of the girls' culture. One of my cousin's names is Anastasia and her russian nickname is nastia. More than one adult has actually asked if they can call her nasty. Her grandparents also will only call her anastasia (even though she hates it) because they think nastia is too close to nasty.

if i ever had to adopt i'd adopt internationally.

Answer 6

We're trying to adopt through the foster care system, and there is certainly no lack of children. It's a frustrating process, though. We've inquired on many kids, fostered 12, and still don't have a child of our own. We would be going international at this point if we could afford it.

Answer 7

It is a myth that domestic adoptions are less secure than international adoptions.  Just as many international adoptions are disrupted due to the child's health, undisclosed behavioral issues, reactive attachment disorder in older children, etc.  And Birthparents in the U.S. cannot simply come back and recant as you say and "get the child back".  Yes, it does happen - mostly on the Lifetime channel -- but with ethical, experienced adoption agencies/attorneys, it is highly unlikely.  And it's rare, although we all know of an example.

But what about your child possibly being forcibly taken from its birthfamily?  Or given up for food in order to feed the other five children at home?  Or exposed to alcohol the whole nine months in utero and then described as healthy?  Or abused in the orphanage?  These are the realities of too many children adopted internationally.

So -- let's try to deal with reality in adoptions.  It is the only way to have safe, ethical adoption where birthparents and adoptive parents alike are well informed, treated with respect, and can be assured that the adoption truly is in the best interest of the child.

Answer 8

When people ask me why we are adopting from (country left out) I just say "Because that is where our child is".  People seem to think that just because you are adopting that they can ask all sorts of rude questions.  "Can't you have any of your own?" "Why didn't her/his REAL parents keep her?" "Why did you adopt from (country) when there are so many American kids who need homes?"  and many many more.  I've heard of people asking in front of the children who have been adopting such stupid questions, as if the children can't hear, or understand English.  

How ever people choose to build their families is their business, not anyone elses.  There are many reasons that people choose to adopt Internationally, and there are a lot of reasons people choose to adopt domestically.  It is all a matter of personal preferrences.  We, personally, have never tried to get pregnant, so I don't think it is ethical for us to "compete" with people wanting what little infants are available through the domestic adoption programs, and since we don't care if our child is of a different race, well we choose to adopt internationally, since there is a need for homes for children in other countries.  One other way we could have gone about adopting, is through the US foster care system, however, many children in the foster care program are not eligible, for whatever reason, for adoption.

I seriously don't explain ANYTHING to anyone.  Again, as it is MY business, and my husbands, they don't need to know how decision making process.

Good luck!