Do you find it ironic....?

Question

Do you find it ironic how some people on this site think that working mom's aren't cut out for motherhood because they don't stay at home to raise their children....

But yet, some others think that SAHM's who don't pay attention to every detail of their childs life every second of the day aren't cut out to be mother's either?

You can't have both people!!!

Isn't it funny how you just can't win on certain subjects sometimes? If I work, I'm a bad mom, if I stay at home, I'm a bad mom.

Not ranting, I just find it ironic... LOL, Not trying to start an argument or anything.... What's your take on it?

Answer 1

People are always going to have a problem with what everyone else is doing. I don't think it's fair to say a mom is not a good mother just because she works or just because she stays home. At the end of the day we all just want what is best for our babies and I don't pay attention to all the negative comments.

Answer 2

PLAIN AND SIMPLE: Being a mom/ parent is THE hardest/ toughest/ most rewarding job in the universe!

no matter if ur a SAHM or a working mom.

ur a mom. period. EVERY mom works just as hard as the next.

Answer 3

Irony is typically the opposite of what you would expect to happen, which what you described isn't.  Because some believe that working moms shouldn't be moms it is natural to expect that others will think that stay at home moms who stress over everything shouldn't be moms.  There's nothing unexpected and ironic about that.

What's my take on it?  I think that both sides of the argument have tons of valid points.  A working mom who works to support a lavish lifestyle or just because she wants to can equate to the stay at home mom who eats ramen noodles and wears 10 year old hand me downs so that she can afford to stay home.  Neither one is a good option and neither make for the best mom a person can be.  A working mom who works in order to pay the bills and afford a reasonable lifestyle, to prevent her kids from wearing 10 year old hand me downs and eating ramen noodles equates to the stay at home mom who stays home in order to keep up a bit more on the housework and to prevent Dad from having to be responsible for that and so that she can be there when her kids get up in the morning, go to school/come home from school, and go to bed.  Both of these make for great moms.

I wish people would stop focusing on the 'rule' and start focusing on the principle.  It isn't about working/staying at home.  Working may be what is best for some moms and their children, but it isn't the best for all, and the same goes for staying at home.  Focus on the principle, not the label.

Answer 4

My favorite saying is

"Opinions are like @ss.holes, everyone has one and most of the time they STINK."

Right now, I'm trying to figure out if I even want to have children of my own.  I have to listen to myself, my gut.  I can't let others cloud my decision.  

c**p...it's YOUR life, live it how YOU see fit!

Answer 5

That is ironic... lol and kinda funny. Everybody is entiled to their opinion.

Answer 6

Yes, it is ironic, you just can't please everyone, although I am against putting a child in daycare unless it is for putting food on the table or keeping the electricity on, I give people the benefit of the doubt and trust that they know what to decide is best for their family.

Answer 7

I think it would be odd or overreaching if those contradictory ideas were coming from the same person.  

But, everyone else on Y!A isn't just one person - it's a lots of different people, all with different ideas.

Answer 8

Every home is ran different and works different.  What works in one does not in another.  Just have to do what works in your house.

rd

Answer 9

Oh the irony :)  I can see where you're coming from.  Hey, staying home requires work too..laundry doesn't wash itself, dishes don't clean themselves, food doesn't cook itself and so on.  Yup I'd say we are all in some way missing out some parts of our children's daily lives.  It's part of being a parent :)

Answer 10

I think both are pretty amazing.  I am a SAHM who goes to school full time.  I miss going to work as odd as it sounds, I miss working with the people that I saw everday.  I think moms who work are just as good as moms who stay home.  Especially single moms.  It amazes me how they can work and take care of their kids all on their own.  No matter what people will always be negative.

Answer 11

Yep, I say do what you have to do.  Your single and have to work, so you work and do not draw welfare.

Answer 12

Like the saying goes... "You're damned if you do, damned if you don't."

If your child is well loved and well taken care of then it shouldn't matter if you're a working mommy or a SAHM. You do what's best for your baby. I'm lucky enough to be able to stay at home with my baby boy but if I had to work then I would.

Answer 13

You're right, you can't make everyone happy. Everyone just has to do what is BEST for their family.

Answer 14

I don't care what people think of me.  I'm a SAHM and I love it.  My daughter is above average in intellegence and people I know well look at me weird.  My husband is a sole supporter of our family and we're just scraping by.  Would I get a job to make it better? No way.  I love being at home with my 20 month old and teaching her and guiding her.  Does this make me think that a woman that wants to work or has to work has dumb kids? No way.  I believe that people should do what they can do or feel they have to do.  It's life and I think that it takes more courage to leave your kids every day and go to work more so than to quit a job and stay at home.  I tried to go back to work but I pussied out because it was harder on me! lol

Answer 15

I agree with you!

Here's my take:

If a mom is trying her hardest to be the best mom she can be, if she puts her child's needs and well being before her own personal desires and well being, I think she is the best mom she can be.   I am for any mom who sees the importance in being the number one role model in her child's life and trying her best to do EVERYTHING she can to raise happy, healthy, contented, well adjusted people.

All moms can do this ...working or not.

Answer 16

I think everyone has different opinions about everything.. and you cant ever make anyone happy!

Answer 17

I think everyone should do what is best for their family and not criticize others for what they do.  No one's situation is the same and people here can be too judgmental and rude.

Answer 18

i think people should do what is best for their children. i have respect for both mothers. i work tuesdays wednesdays and thursdays and i have off mondays and fridays, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

Answer 19

Look what works my family- I know wouldn't work for most. I never ever judge people that work or don't work whatever. The only thing I hate is some of those moms that work 8 hours a day and then go out to eat with friends and get home at midnight and NEVER see their kids.

Good thing is- I only see that happen once in a while.

Answer 20

My take is that there are people who have the mindset that once you are a parent that you cease to be anything else at all.  The old saying,

"it's not about you anymore when you have kids,"

is one of the most demeaning things you can say to a woman.  Having children does not exclude you from being the person you once were, if it does anything it should simply enhance you.  Of course it is still about you, but sometimes it's about others as well.  Ignoring who you are simply because you have become a mom does a disservice not only to yourself but to the kids you are raising as well.

I say,

"when you become a mom it's about all of you, including mom."

I am a mom, but I am still a human being, I am still a creature with independent thoughts and feelings and I won't give her up just because of my kids, i will integrate her into this family and teach my kids that yes sometimes you DO need to be selfish, you STILL need to take care of yourself, even more so when you have kids, because you are setting an example that they will follow as they get older.

I don't think I even answered your question, just went on a little tangent of my own.  Sorry about that!

Answer 21

I am a stay at home mom but I think its a very personal choice for a family.  I don't think it makes you a good mother whether you work or stay at  home.  Its the amount of love and attention you show your child when you are with them that makes you a good mother.  If you are a stay at home mom and don't do anything but sit in front of the TV Clean or in front of the P.C.  how does that make you a good mom?  If you are a working mother that works and comes home to do chores and sit on the phone etc how does that make you a good mom?  Its the moms that take the time to listen to their kids and plays with them and spends quality time with them that makes them a good mom.