Do you find it offensive when someone thinks your personal business is unimportant?

Question

And expect you to be constantly doing favors for them. I have this neighbor who keeps bugging me to help her do stuff for her. She always asks if her kids can use my pool, and then if I can watch them. And every Saturday, she asks me to babysit her kids all night. And she always asks me to pick up stuff from the store for her, and has asked me to help her clean her house. And worst of all, I dont get payed. And she always invites herself over to our house, and never leaves. And yesterday, I told her I cant watch her kids in the pool, and she said "Its not like you have anything better to do." Just because I dont go out, and hand with friends, and would rather work on videos, music, and art.

Answer 1

Yes, it is offensive and rude.  Next time, firmly tell her no...and don't let her in your house. Simply say, I have things to do and close the door in her face.

Answer 2

Just Say NO!

Answer 3

Tell that ***** you want some pay, you're not a maid, and if you were at least you would get some money out of it. straight up tell her no, the worst she can do is gripe, and you'll have a load of more free time.

Answer 4

She is taking advantage of you in a big way. I'd put a stop to that immediately. Watching paint dry sounds like 'something better to do' than being her personal unpaid nanny and maid.

Answer 5

I suggest finding things to do outside the house and away from this mad woman! Tell her you can't baby sit and then leave for the movies. What you do in your spare time is none of her business and she needs to get a grip.

You dont need to be anyones pushover. You deserve peace and quiet too.

Answer 6

I would certainly be mad if I took a whole lot of time to do a job for someone and they did not think it was good, when I felt I did my best. I know when I do a good job and when I mess around, so for someone to come and tell me that it's not good enough, it would definitely make me angry, but what can you do.

Answer 7

Sooner or later you are going to have to tell your neighbor to F-off.

Answer 8

Okay, I take it back I read what she told you. You know what you need to tell her, look my time is valuable these are your kids, take care of them. I bet she won't be bothering you no more. But if this isn't your style do it in your own way, but I'm upset for you. I don't have kids, and enjoy my alone time and my time is valuable!

Sorry, but if they aren't blood relatives (even they have a limit) and you're not getting anything out of it she needs to pay you for your time. Sounds like you're a good person who is getting taken advantage of. The nerve of some people, you need to get a backbone and tell her...uhNOOOOoooo...

Answer 9

I assume she isn't holding a gun to your head, so YOU are the one that allows this to happen.  Tell her no and stick to that.  That she finds your business unimportant isn't that big of a deal.  I don't think it's important that someone else find MY business important or not.  What is important is that she RESPECTS your wishes, and she currently is NOT.  That means that when you tell her NO, she listens.  You may have to hurt her feelings in the short term in order to get her to understand.

Answer 10

Your neighbor is a "user"...

She will continue to use you, until you put a stop to it....

How you do that, is to say "No" to everything....until she finds someone else....

Answer 11

you have time to spend it how you want and that does not include her children

Answer 12

Wow, this neighbor sounds like a total jerk.  Yes, I absolutely find this offensive.  I guess anytime someone tells me I have nothing better to do is offensive - whatever I want to do is probably better than watching your stupid kids, right?

Answer 13

You have to think of a bunch of excuses and if she shows up, you were just about to take a shower, or just about to go to bed.  

Your next question should be to ask for good excuses why you can't do things for her.

Answer 14

They are not your kids... plain and simple... and you owe this woman nothing.  I would be cordial, but not so willing to help.  She's obviously taking advantage of you and that is rude.

Answer 15

Time to put your foot down and make her start being a Mom.  Be firm and persistant about this.  

Answer 16

It really doesn't have anything to do with what this other person thinks.  We can't know that anyway...

However, this person is clearly behaving in a way that is trying to take advantage of you.  It's entirely up to you to decide what you are willing to do and what you are not.  If it doesn't fit for you to do her favors, then simply say "I'm not willing to do that."  Stop there.  No explanations.

And would I take offense?  No.  Getting my knickers in a twist about the rudeness of others just ruins my day.

Answer 17

Tell her sure, they can use her pool, as long as they have a certified lifeguard watching them. Since they're not cheap, she'll have to pay him/her. If she can't pay, her kids can't play. You don't want her to sue you when her kids drown.

She is using you in a near-criminal way. I wouldn't even be polite to her; I'd just tell her to not ever come over, ever again, period. You do have something better to do - anything's better than hanging around this @#$@.