Do you find parenting difficult?

Question

I only have 1 child, a girl of 21 months and I love her more than anything but the whole parenting thing feels like climbing Mount Everest with an elephant strapped to your back-a huge challenge.

The constant demands, fussy eating, hardly sleeping, mess making etc makes me feel like crawling into a corner and pulling my hair out.

I just don't understand how some mums find it a breeze and have a big brood.

Answer 1

Parenting is extremely difficult. I have 2 children and sometimes I don't know how I get through the day. I have a child care qualification, which on occasions has made things a little easier, because I know about development stages etc, and can understand why children behave in the way they do, but I still find it a huge challange to try and get things close to being right.

Relax, and know you are doing a good job!

Answer 2

Yes it is very hard and i believe a guide book should come out with the afterbirth, just try your best and as long as every decision made is made with love and the best intentions in mind you will do alright.

Good luck

I have 4 lovely and annoying children aged 9 - 18 and still learning new things every day.

Answer 3

I'm with you on this one.  I love my son so much.  I just started a job that is 30-35 hours a week whereas I was only working 20 hours a week.  I get to work and think about him, worry about him, but when I look at his pictures in my phone sometimes I recall all the things we go through on a daily basis and I instantly get exhausted!  He's 14 months old and a handful as well.  I was telling my MIL last night that I wanted to find a closet and hide away for a few days.  My son has been walking since he was 9 months old, now he's running, he torments our cat and two dogs so I have to constantly keep him away from them.  If I pick him up to love on him he grabs my hair on both side of my head and pulls so hard it makes my eyes water.  Don't get me wrong, he's a very well behaved child but he's also very independant, very active, and since I'm a first time mom I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed.  So, yes.  Parenting for me is difficult as well.  Not everyday.  But I have my moments.

Answer 4

It does get much easier as they get older.  I have a 13 year old girl and 4 year old girl/boy twins.  Discipline and prayer certainly doesn't hurt either.

Monique

Ameriplan Health Benefits Specialist

[e-mail]

www.iboplus.com/mwhitley

Answer 5

No, I have 3 and it is easy.

Myself and my wife share the care of our children and I do more than my fair share of looking after them so I am talking from experience.

I gave up my job to look after our kids when my wife had our youngest and spent two years as a full time house husband before going back to work.

Answer 6

There are always going to be those days when you can't stand your own child.. that's normal, and there are going to be those days when they seem to be such angels... some days, it's the same child, in the same day.  however, we live with them, and love them, and try to keep from strangling them, and, in the end, it's all worth it.

Answer 7

Parenting is most definitely not easy. My advice is take it one day at a time and don't be in a rush for it to be over. I wish I could go back to the days my boys were your daughters age. Enjoy it, I know at times you want to pull your hair out but it is all worth it.  

Answer 8

Its definetly challenging. I never imagined that it would be so hard when I ws 13-14 years old talking about with my mom at the kitchen table; she warned me that children are your whole life when become a mother so make sure you stay focused...I never listened and I now realise just what she meant.

I would not change anything cause I love my children but being a mother is certainly 24/7 job and I was not prepared at all when I had my first. It comes with time I know that much. Its a learning process with tons of rewards and I know that I have a difficult time raising my two but the outcome is the greatest no matter what---kissing them before bed or waking up to a new day with them will always be worth all the challenges.

--these are personal opinions...so why all the thumbs down for everybody?

Answer 9

Yes I sure do find it difficult.  Being a parent is never easy.  I am the mother of two girls ages nine and twelve, a son whom is six, and a fourteen year old stepson.  My son has a diagnosed mood disorder.  He has been a challenge since he was born.  Things just do not seem to get any easier as he gets older, just different.  He rages for no appearant reason a lot of the time.  It is hard to know what is going on in his little head.  It is hard to balance working, taking care of my son's issues, helping him learn how to calm his body, time for my other kids, cleaning, cooking dinner, spending time with them.... Nobody ever said being a parent is easy, but one thing is for sure it is the most rewarding job ever.  It means so much to me to be the best mom I can be to my precious children.  

Answer 10

Anyone who tells you that kids are easy is full of s***.  It's not easy, nor will it ever be "easy".  But in the end, it's supposed to be rewarding.  You will have created two adults who are capable of dealing with the real world (hopefully).  So have a bit of patience.  21 mos is not really all that bad... and just think... in like three years... baby girl will be in school for half the day!  Then you'll have some time to yourself without having to worry about what she's doing!  She'll have someone new to drive nuts!  And other kids to help her do it!  YIPPEE!!!

Answer 11

It's more difficult for some than others.  Some people have children who are just easier, and some are the type who can handle things easier than other parents.  It's a challenge at times, but I wouldn't describe it as nearly as difficult as you did.  But that's me; you might be experiencing something completely different.  Perhaps your child is going through a difficult stage, or you're not the type to handle problems well.  Either way, there's no shame in it.  Also, as others have said, it DOES get easier.  So hang in there and enjoy your little one.

Answer 12

Welcome to the club. Yes, parenting is difficult. Don't let people fool you into thinking that it is a breeze.. this is especially if you have been a career woman all your life and find yourself infront of a helpless baby.

The evening after I left the hospital with my baby, I actually called to ask if I could go back please? Really. So, just hang in there, you will get better by and by!

All the best!

Answer 13

I'd stick at one if I were you.  If you like an ordered life,motherhood is not the answer.

Answer 14

Oh Hun i know what you mean when i gave birth to my twins no amount of read the books and magazines could have prepared us for 'real life' sleepless nights, feeding constantly and nappy changing ..but someone i seen in a post said it gets easier as they get older ..Does it ?

Well for us our twins are now 10 Thomas pictured left has severe autism he is also non verbal and still in nappies and i often and please do not get me wrong didn't see myself still changing his nappies at this age, Boy being a parent is tough but hold ya head up and your chin cause being a parent lasts as long as we do !

Answer 15

try starting out with twins...thats what I did. It was hard at first and I even had a lot of experience before having them because I had done childcare before having kids. Just remember it gets a little easier. Don't get me wrong, each stage has it's challenges but it does get easier. My twins are now 13 and I have two younger 11 and 8. I don't think it's difficult, just challenging at times but that's what I love about it.

Answer 16

I have two children and I find it to be very difficult. Just getting out of the house is a 2 hour process. And grocery shopping is like taking a trip to h**l, lol. My oldest is four and she is so hyper, never stops moving and can ask you questions until you get a headache. my youngest is really mellow, but hates it when I'm not in his sight or right up against him. I, to, often wonder how some people make it look so EASY. By the end of the day I feel like I've been torn apart by a panther.

Answer 17

I have four children, ages almost 7, almost 5, 3, and 13 months, with #5 due in January.  I don't find parenting that difficult and overwhelming in general.  One reason probably is that we don't allow our children to develop the habit of becoming demanding.

Our children learn early on to eat the food they are given.  There are a few times around 10-11 months, where we have to make them open their mouth and take in food.  After that, there aren't that many battles, because they know they have to eat it.  My 13-month-old occasionally doesn't like the food she's given, and usually all it takes is for me to feed her instead and she'll take in the bites, because she knows she has too.  This has been the case with the older ones too.  They learn to eat what we eat.

We teach them from a young age to obey.  If they disobey when told no, or if they scream in anger or defiance, they get a swat on the leg.  We have yet to have a child have anything close to terrible 2s.  And my 13 month old (like her siblings before her at that age) can usually be told "shhh" or "no fussing" and she'll stop fussing (not talking minor whimpering, but real fussing).  If not, she'll get a swat on the leg or put in her playpen for quiet time.  By 1 1/2, they've all learned the self-control to be able to sit quietly for 1 1/2 hrs in church, except of course when we're singing!  My children aren't unusual in this, but it is something that has to be learned and taught.  You don't just take a child that age and say sit in church quietly if they haven't learned some measure of self-control and to obey their parents.

And there's the grace of God to give me peace and strength during the trying times of teaching and training my children.  Yes, it takes effort, but it's worth it in the end.  Children do not just naturally learn self-control, proper behavior, thoughtfulness, etc all by themselves.  They need their parents to teach them and to set boundaries from an early age.

The end result is HAPPY children and a much less stressed mother.  I rarely have power struggles or discipline issues with my children past the age of 2.  We have a happy household where most of the time the four children (not as much the youngest) can play happily together, and if not, usually a word of reminder is all that is needed.  My children don't just pick up their toys, they also help with things like emptying the dryer (3 yo thinks this is FUN!), folding laundry, emptying bathroom trashcans, clearing the table, sweeping, etc.  All told they only spend about 15-30 minutes a day doing this stuff (the oldest maybe 30), but it's a good training for them and helpful to me.

I would have trouble having four children if they weren't expected to obey and taught how to get along with each other and other character issues.  And even still, teaching is frustrating at times, but I have God's strength to draw on.  I'm much more patient with Him, than I ever could be without Him.

Answer 18

i feel the same as you at times.

my daughter is 2 1/2 and she's always been quite dramatic and lively, i find my daughter very demanding and the worst part is she never sleeps, it takes me a good 3-4 hours to get her to drop off at night, she's usually asleep by midnight if im lucky, but then she'll wake periodically throught the night screaming and crying or sleep walking.

i feel like i wrote this question myself, the fussy eating, the hardly sleeping and the mess making. god its so tiring at times, my sister in law has 2 children under 18 months, a 1 week old son and 14 month daughter, but they sleep through already and nap exactly on time!!

The hardest part is getting ready to go out,

i go to get her dressed and she runs away from me, then when i finally manage to wrestle the clothes onto her she gets naked again straight away.

it takes me about 5 hours to get her and i ready just to go shopping, i can't put makeup on succesfully either, she'll have a full face of bronzer on the second i turn my head.

but in all i love her, and i find her very quirky, in a way id rather she be full of life and energy, because i can rest asure when she's older she'll be a happy, bubbly person.

just remember your daughter is special, she's full of character and intelligence.

i know at times it feels like you have no time to breath but it will get better, just hang on in there.

good luck

EH WHY THE THUMBS DOWN???

Answer 19

I don't find it too difficult.  I'm pretty laid back, so maybe that helps.  Just take it as it comes.

I imagine it's a h**l of a lot harder if your a single parent.

Answer 20

YES!  You can get parenting class at your local college.  It should help some.  Spending time with grandparents is helpful too.  Just imagine when she becomes a teenager!  

Answer 21

it will not get any better only worse as they become more independent and then teenagers?

Answer 22

i suppose it depends how much patience you've got. I've got two kids, daughter who's nearly six and a son on three and a half, and with my two i need a lot of patience as my son is a very demanding little boy that just will not do as he's told.Luckily my daughter's a breeze,but sometimes my son's that bad that i just want to lock myself in a room all day and cry my eyes out so i know exactly how you feel.Does your daughter go to nursery? I've found that since my son has started nursery, he's a lot calmer and will take a telling if he's mis-behaving.Plus he's burning a lot of steam off and is'nt running around home like a mad thing.

Answer 23

Nooooo all you need is a taser stun gun and a large stick.

Answer 24

I don't understand myself why my son needs to constantly throw his food-even the kinds he likes-all over the floor!! (He just turned one.)  He's behind me crying for more food right now because he's thrown it all over the kitchen.  He's not anywhere near starved for attention, maybe just a little spoiled...but I'm pulling my hair out. I think I might even start a post about it...it's been going on for a long time and no matter what I do, I can't get him to stop!!  Food is expensive these days too....so I'm with you, even things that seem minor can feel impossible!!!  

Answer 25

oh god yes! i have 2 kids a girl of 6 going on 16 and a son of 4, some days are good some days are bad especially with my girl, dont get me wrong i love them both so much but she can be a right mare, but i think the difficult times are what makes us good parents the fact that we dont snap and go completly mental is amazing, i mean lets face it if someone we knew acted the way our children do sometimes, we would probably slap em or something lol (e.g annoying partners), but parents do have amazing powers of keeping cool and calm even at the hardest times, so i praise all you parents out there who are all doing an amazing job in one way or another lol

Answer 26

Things will get easier as she gets older, don't worry! People seem to think teenagers are monsters which is not true. Some yes, the same as some adults and small children are.

We're not all that bad! It WILL get easier as your little girl gets older.

I'm sure everyone finds it difficult, people just cope with things different :]

Answer 27

some days are good and some are... well we love our children right :)

and i'm positive those mom's who seem to always have it all together loose their cool too :)