Do you have a problem with positive adoption experiences?

Question

I am also curious as to why Gee-Gee was given thumbs down for her question.

Answer 1

Not at all. I had a very positive experience.  My son is very happy, I am very happy, and the birthmother is happy.  I know that the birthmother misses my son occasionally but she is very glad that she did what she did. She was 15 when she got pregnant by accident, and is now in college, working on her future, and is very happy hanging out with her friends and being a normal 18 year old.  She knew that her life would be very hard if she kept him.  

So we had a very position adoption, which by the way is open, so we see the birthmother a few times each year.  I am not saying it is pain free, but it OUR experience, is not painful or anything like some of the people here say it is.

Answer 2

no.

Answer 3

i don't have a problem with positive adoption experiences.

i have a problem with people thinking a happy adoption = no pain.

Answer 4

If by a positive adoption experience you mean that the adoptee ended up with a good family, then of course I have no problem with that.  I think anytime a person is part of a healthy family that it's a good thing.

I do have a problem with people who assume that my personal adoption experience must be bad since I'm willing to talk about all facets -- the good and the bad -- of adoption **itself**  (not my personal adoption.)

Answer 5

Nope.

Answer 6

We personally have had a very positive adoption experience.  That doesn't mean that we haven't had a few bumps in the road or negative things occur.  But the overall experience thus far has been very positive.  

I think what everyone needs to remember is that every adoption journey is different.

Answer 7

No!  I have a problem with people not getting it that even if you are adopted by great people and have a good life and that your "adoption experience" was positive that there still is still pain involved!  I have great aparents.  I love them very much but I still hate adoption!

Why can't adoption be both positive and negative?  Why can't people understand that those feelings that you may feel deep down or right on the surface, the ones that make you feel like something is missing, like you don't belong are caused by adoption.  Adoption is about loss, adoption causes lifelong pain for adoptees and their natural mothers.  Some feel it more than others, some are in denial, some just haven't realized it yet.  It took me over 30 years to figure out where my pain came from.  It came from my positive adoption experience.  It came from being abandoned as an infant and dealing with the effects of that for the rest of my life.  It came from trying the "perfect" child so that my aparents wouldn't give me away (which they never said they would do).

I don't think that there is such a thing as a completely positive adoption experience.  It is impossible.

Answer 8

I have a hard time understanding why 7 people gave GEE GEE below negative responses...........Her story was honest, I can only assume it is the result of the same negative responders in this forum...........

In any case, I would not have any problem with a positive adopton experience...........That is what we ALL want, isn't it? If not..........then you must be one of the negative ones, and that is very sad to me. Life can be good for all, it's all about perspective, and how you handle that perspective. NOW, I didn't say it is good for ALL, is said "it can be"..........Life is a learning experience, and, it takes work and support from others to get through it.

Answer 9

no

Answer 10

Not at all.  

I find it odd however, when they say something like, "My adoption was a happy one, so I would never do that to my parents"

I actually feel sorry for them, because IMO, their parents don't want what's best for their adoptee, they want comfort for themselves.

That's when a 'positive' experience is like an emotional prison, and not one I envy.

Answer 11

No because I adoption has been a positive experience for my family, for me, and hopefully for my son, but he's only 3, so you'll have to ask him that when he is older.

Answer 12

No, I don't. Isn't a positive adoption experience a good thing?

Answer 13

could you elaborate some more, i'm not sure what you mean