Do you have a "favorite" child?

Question

Throughtout my life i've been told by my sister that im the "favorite." She tell me they love me more. The sad part is it at times seems true. They tend to buy me more and they're continuing to pay for college and my car (i have a job) even though they've completly stoped with my sister... who doesn't have a job and has been having to live off her boyfriends paycheck. she's older (22) and im 19.. and im sure age has something to do with it. and i know that my sister hasn't exactly been the best/easiest child to raise...(she's done drugs and been arrested.. acted out a fair amount) but i know they love us equally.. right? someone (maybe another parent) please explain this. do you have any advice on how i can show.. or reassure my sister that they love us equally?

Answer 1

Ahh... the age-old debate.  I would like to think that I'm the favorite in my family.  I'm the youngest and the only girl and that puts me in a pretty favorable position to be marked "favorite", but do I honestly think it's true?  Not really.  

With my own children, I find that I favor different qualities about them, so I suppose in that case you could say that my oldest is my favorite shopping buddy and my youngest is my favorite snuggler, but it's the ages and stages.  

I do love them both...  equally.  I'm sure it's the same with your parents, but they have a shotty way of showing it to your sister.  Maybe they feel you need more help right now, so they are focusing on you.  If you're concerned, sit down and talk with your parents.  They may not even realize they're favoring you and it's going to be a hard conversation for your sister to have with them.

Answer 2

Wow.  As a parent we like to say that we love our kids the same, but we really don't.  Sometimes one is harder to love because they do bad things- like your sister.  It is not, however, your responsibility to make sure that she knows your parents love her.  YOU love her and stay out of the middle of them.  Trust me- I'm the bad one in the family, but as a mom- I love my good and bad one.  I just like one of them a touch more on certain days.  I am going to h**l for admitting that.

Answer 3

Maybe it's because you were more of an "ideal" child. I know that sounds harsh but if she did drugs, was arrested and acted out then she wasn't exactly the child your parents had dreamed of.

I was a rebellious child and didn't go along with what my parent's life for me. I left home and have been estranged from my parent's which is obviously why I am not the favourite.

Just try to help her get back on track with her life if she hasn't already and maybe then your parents will be more equal with their love.

Answer 4

i am in a family of 3 kids....my sister the youngest is the favorite.

i only have one child.

i have watched other famalies and i do not agree.

i think that there is ALWAYS a favorite kid.

parents do not want to admit it to the children but

behind closed doors...this is true.

**************************************...

and of course there is always a black sheep in most

families.

Answer 5

No, I love and appreciate my boys equally. Some parents do have favorite and make it painfully obvious but others just deal w/their children differently because the children are different than each other.....like anything, you have to handle things the way that they are going to work and kids are no different. Just make sure not to rub in your sister's face,the things your parents do for you and praise your sister in front of them while she's there to hear it.

Answer 6

Sounds like your in a rough one. My advice is to ask your parents simply why they wont give your older sister the time of day.

I hope you can figure this out

(: Good Luck

Answer 7

Did you ever stop to think that your parents spend more money on you because you are in college and your sister is 22 with no job and living off her boyfriend?  Wow, that's an easy one.  Maybe if your sister grew up a little more, your parents would spend more on her.  But it's not about the money.  I'm sure your parents love you equally.  It's just probably your sister made some poor decisions in her life. But it doesn't mean they love her any less.

She's 22 for goodness sake.  Tell her to grow up and get a job and stop worrying about mom and dad.

Answer 8

I have four children and I love them all equally for sure. But I do like my four year old a little more than the rest. I just really enjoy his personality. I think its normal to like one of your children more than another.

As far as why they give you more or help you more, its probably because you're younger and maybe they're just tired of helping her out so much when she keeps getting into trouble. Maybe they want to show her some "tough love".  

Answer 9

I don't think so.  It sounds like your parents are supportive of good behavior and choices (like you're making).  They're making a good investment in you, whereas your sister is not making the best choices.  They're done raising her, and she has decided on her way in life.  Why should they make a poor investment in that kind of behavior?

I don't think it has anything to do with favorites.  It has to do with common sense.