Do you have anger problems too?

Question

When I get angry the only way to suppress it is with pain to myself. What about you.

Answer 1

No anger problems here - and that doesn't so much sound like anger as feeling "unfairness", if you're angry with someone, have a discussion with them about it....if you skulk off and harm yourself instead, you are not facing up to it, if someone upsets you, talk to them about it. I don't know the situations that make you feel this way, so it's kind of hard to answer.

Practice a few startling one liners like "You know what? you said a really horrible thing to me just then, why did you do that? didn't you think it would hurt me or didn't you care?" - it puts them right on the spot, makes them explain themselves and gives them a greater respect for you because no one likes to be called on their sht.

Depends on the circumstances. I do this all the time when people are being antagonistic. It's amazingly liberating to just come right out and say it. And you only have to do it once to feel good about it.

Next time a situation arises, you'll be in a better position to cope, next time you can have a line ready to just come right out and say. Don't worry if the moment has passed, it can always be recalled.

Say "You know what happened last night? I completely don't understand why you did that to me, I'm a good person, I didn't deserve that. What did I do that made you so angry that you felt it was ok to do that to me?" - and wait.

Silence is a powerful tool. Learn to use it.

You don't even have to believe some of the stuff you say, one very useful line, used in anger management is "Please sit down, when you raise your voice and lean over the desk like that it comes across as quite aggressive, and I'm sure you don't mean to intimidate me like that." - I have used this at court when I am discussing cases with people. I am not intimidated, but I really would like them to sit down before they get so worked up they hit me. It's like a reality check.

Answer 2

i guess i do as well, I just punch a wall or door till my knuckles bleed.

not much of a problem as long as u have the control not to hurt others or yourself. (and by yourself I mean severely a bruise means nothing but cutting is too far.)  

Answer 3

it is much of a problem!  I married someone with anger problems and believe me, it's h**l to live with someone like this - they are a total jerk most of the time and are accountable to no one and nothing to reign in their anger.  It's humiliating, nerve wrecking - I walk on egg shells when he's moody or uptight - which happens way way too often and anyone can cause offense over the stupidist things.  It's just Horrible and I love him dearly but someday it may be the end of us.  That means he will not see his daughter grow up everyday but only on visits.  So all in all, that's one big problem!  Guys, I have no idea how you get control of this but from the one on the receiving end, please go to therapy or something!  My husband would never ever strike me but there are hurts that can sting just as much - all because of your stupid egos!!!  Sorry, but it makes you lot a******s.  Curb it, vent it, take up boxing, jerk off 7 times, get a therapist, buy a shed and make wooden things - i dunno, but DEAL because it doesn't go away and you DON'T have it under control by breaking stuff or bitching people out.  Ugh!