Do you have any Advice?

Question

I wrote this as free verse, should I make a shorter poem about it, or make a longer short story, or both. I love the concept though, thanks for your input. Really long, sorry.

She lived in a small

One room house.

Her four children in tow

Her love in the fields.

And they are happy

In thier serfdom.

He had work and food

To feed his children.

And he had his love.

Their fath was strong

With Church every Sunday.

Christ had made life grand

In return of the devotion of

This humble family.

In a time of chivalry,

Women were vulnerable and weak.

Yet she was strong and for that,

He loved her.

Then the sickness came,

It creeped in,

Like a fog among the coast.

England's weather is miserable.

Some say the illness was bred

From the cold and rain.

Bethany, the youngest,

Fell sick first.

Her little coughs mimiced

The creaking roof.

She complained of cold

When her forehead,

Was drenched in sweat.

Her fingers and toes

Were as black as the serpent's heart.

Answer 1

you could write both, but i think the one with the better turn out would be a short story.  

this is really good =)

Answer 2

Sort of a series of deaths eh? It was long but if you make it a story, give them better personalities and describe things more...maybe keeping Mary alive in the end unless you tend to make it a weak tragic story. I say make a story, it's too long for a poem :)