Do you have any advise? My mom is suing me for visitation with my son.?

Question

My mother is taking me to court for grandparents' rights. It all stems from prior attempts to let her spend time with my son. We had an agreement and that wasn't good enough for her. She has told me in the past that she was going to take my son to a certain place and come to find out she had taken him else where. Every time that I would let my son spend the night with her she would always take him in the other room as we would be getting ready to go and she would give him candy. This would always make him throw fits. So, we asked her to stop and she said that she would, however she didn't.

My son's father and I are divorced and have separate families now so, my son is with him every other weekend and he has an overnight visit and a three hour visit a week. Almost the entire time he is supposed to be with his dad he is at his dad's parents. Which has given him for the most part three homes and it is difficult for him enough the way that it is.

She didn't get to see him while he was with his dad for six weeks and says that we should have let her keep him on our weekends with him. And, I made sure to take him to the family get together. As soon as we got there she took him off by herself and didn't let anyone else have time to spend with him. While we were there my son got into trouble for not listening and had to sit down for two minutes which my mother had a fit over. Then, it was time to eat. There was already a line so I told my son to sit and I would get him something to eat and my mom heard me tell him this. He decided he wanted to play with a ball around people that were eating and I told him no. So, my mom picked up the ball and started to play with him anyway. Then, when my mom went up to get a plate she got one for my son too even though she heard me say that I would get it for him. This is just one of the instances that she has done to contradict what we say when it comes to our son.

She also had the nerve to tell me that I don't let my son have any fun because I will not let him go to her house due to her not being able to follow our guide lines. I understand that grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren but not to the point that she is taking it.

I told her that I was tired of her doing this all of the time and told her that there would be no more overnight visits until she could prove that she was able to follow our rules. And, we agreed that she would come see him once a week for as long as she liked. However it wasn't good enough for her. She insistently called and wanted more. She called up to five times a day. Finally, I told her to quit calling and she wouldn't. Then, she called and wanted him and my six month old to go to her house for a few hours. So, I finally had enough and wrote her a letter and told her that she was not to contact us again.

Which brings us to now she has sent me a summons for grandparents' rights. I don't know what to do. She is causing so much drama in our family that my husband is ready to leave because of her. What can I do to make her stop this nonsense. She did a horrible job raising me and now wants for me to let her be around my son and let her tell him and show him that it is ok to go against what his parents say. What do I do? How can I make her stop?

I got looking into the petition further and she not only perjured herself in it but her lawyer didn't even use the right statute as grounds for her to sue for rights.

I have found a few things online like a motion to dismiss with prejudice and a motion for contempt with verification. Do you know if there is anything else I should do and what chances I have for winning this case. She also has in the paper that she wants me to pay for her attorney fees. I cannot afford an attorney myself let alone pay for her attorney. Any advise would be helpful.

Answer 1

joker seems to have absolutely no understanding of the phrase parental rights, nor has he dealt with a person who misuses the court system for the power play.

Grandma is the one with the control issues, not mom.

If mom says no candy, grandma needs to learn to respect that.

There happens to be a US Supreme court ruling that deals with this. UNLESS the parent is unfit, she is under no obligation of any kind to grandma.  Mom should be able to set boundaries with grandma, and if grandma does not grasp this concept, she will lose any contact at all.

Grandma HAS no rights.  

Answer 2

This situation is not as dire as you think it is.  You are blowing minor incidences up into major things.  The real problem is that you do not like your mother and you insist on exerting your authority over your child when she is around.  If you would handle the incidences like an adult the situation would not get out of hand.  You could have taken the ball away or stood your son in a corner.  So what if she made him a dinner plate instead of you doing it?  There is nothing wrong with that, except in your head.  

If it were just a power struggle between you and your mother that would be one thing, but you are harming your son with your petty behavior.  

You could make some rules and give your mother a copy.  If she gives him candy she could lose a visit.  All kids like candy and should be allowed to have some.  Why not just tell her to make sure he brushes his teeth afterward?

You are using your child to beat your mother up with and it is a losing proposition for you.  I can well understand why your husband would consider leaving over it.

If your state has grandparent's rights there is nothing in your long tale that would disqualify her from visitation.  Lighten up or you will lose both your son and husband over your power struggle with your mother.

Answer 3

You and your husband as well as the rest of the family tell the judge EXACTLY what she's like, and you'll have no problems.  Get a lawyer as well.  Work out a payment plan.  You'll be glad you did.  But you do not owe her attorney fees.  That's bullcrap from her.