Do you have any feedback?

Question

http://www.helium.com/items/1153143-novel-excerpts-confusion-confusing

Any feedback?

Opinions?

...

etc.?

Thanks guys =)

Answer 1

    You write very well.  Don't forget that dialogue must be in a separate paragraph, and there are one or two mistakes with syntax, but all that's being picky.  I'm sure you'll pick them up anyway on re-write.  It was a change to read something literate!  Well done.  Whatever you do, keep writing.

Good luck

Mike B

Answer 2

Feedback on what?

Answer 3

very good...i thought the cussing put a bad taste in it...but thats just me.  kinda seems like u may have been stoned. lol jk.  i like it.  now, can you read some of my stuff....its under my questions... thanks.  you are good!

Answer 4

You certainly sound like a budding writer...I can't write like that...I'm sure some big literary agentt would have comments to clean it up here and there, but on my opinion (I have a master's degree so I am somewhat educated) I think it sounds awesome.