Do you have any good Chuck Norris Jokes?

Question

This is the second time I've put something like this out tonight... Does anyone have any good ones?? Please! Just for laughs! =)

Answer 1

Chuck Norris wrote the internet.

Answer 2

www.chucknorrisfacts.com

=)

Answer 3

Why doesn't Chuck Norris use a condom?

Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

If Superman and Flash raced our the world, who would win?

Chuck Norris

What is the meaning of life?

Chuck Norris

Who am I?

Chuck Norris

Answer 4

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*ck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realised the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

So, yeah, it's a little violent and may not be 'ha'ha funny' but this is Chuck so who really cares?  You can also take a look at

http://www.mustsharejokes.com/page/Chuck...

Answer 5

-The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

-When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris didn't HAVE a birthday. He had a 'kick your way out of your own mother' day.