Do you have any street sexual harassment stories?

Question

would you like to share? and if so, do you think is better to confront or ignore the person doing the harassment?

This is a big problem in many countries, like Mexico, Venezuela, India, and Egypt, but it also happens in the more affluent countries. It seems it has more to do to intimidate and bulling women than anything else. It shows an amazing lack of respect to the other gender.

I have my stories but I would be curious to listen to yours.

Thanks in advance

These women from Egypt told their own stories:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7593765.stm

Answer 1

A few, i think it is as you say a form of intimidation..I have had men simulate the rhythms of s*x with their breathing staring intensely at me, I have had men holler comments about my bosom, my ***, staring, etc etc..It is about domination I feel

Answer 2

The usual in the U.S...catcalls, sexual gestures.

Now try being a redhead on a visit to Italy...I actually had strange men come up to me and fondle and stroke my hair on the street, which was disconcerting, to say the least.

Answer 3

I've got 2.

The first was when I was in high school.  I was standing in line getting tickets for something when a girl behind me pinched my butt.  When I say pinched, I mean she squeezed HARD.  In other words, it hurt quite a bit for a few seconds.  When I turned around, there were 2 girls there, both pointing at the other one.  So I have no idea to this day which one of them actually did it.  

Now some people may say "It was just a joke," which is probably true, but if you reversed the genders would you say it's so harmless?

The second one is better though.  I was on a school field trip in 12th grade to the Mississippi state Capitol building in Jackson.  Actually, a lot of schools from around the state sent kids there (long story, had to do with supplying computers to schools across the state).  During a break, I went into a side room, which was empty except for a few chairs-and 5 girls.  I was the only guy there.  After someone asked my name and where I was from, since they were from a completely differnet part of the state, one of them started asking me questions about my sexual history (obviously not normally something you ask someone you just met 15 seconds ago).  Then, one of them started going off about how much s*x she'd had in her life up to that point (keep in mind, we're high schoolers).  At this time, she and one of her friends got up and approached me.  One of them got a little too touchy-feely with my shoulders, but it was when the other one groped my crotch that I realized I was really in a bad situation.  I made some excuse about having to use the bathroom and took off before any of them could really protest.  

Now I do doubt they would've just broke out with s*x right there in the state capitol, but they were definitely doing things that could be considered sexual harassment.  Well, 2 of them were, but the other 3 sure as heck weren't doing anything to stop it, so they were somewhat guilty as well.  My only guess is they were trying to have fun by intimidating a guy.  It's the only thing that really makes sense to me.

In theory, all sexual harassers should be confronted in some way.  In most cases, I think women could do it.  In my cases, it wouldn't have been so easy.  I've often wondered about what would've happened if I'd told somebody about the second scenario in particular, and I honestly can't see how it would've done anything other than cause trouble, and I probably would've been the one to get in trouble for it.  They could all just deny it and it'd be my word against the 5 of them, and I'd look like a troublemaker, and since I'm a guy nobody would really take it seriously at that point anyway, especially considering where it took place in the capitol.  

If catcalling is sexual harassment, that's happened a few times as well.  Yes, girls do that sometimes.  I typically saw girls who catcalled as more strange than anything.

I'm sure I'll get a few thumbs down, because this is one of those issues that only women are supposed to be able to claim they suffer from, but there you go.

I am sorry for all who this has happened to, though.

Answer 4

Two years ago (when I was 15) when I went to Europe I had catcalls made at me for the first time. That was at a time when I had a very low self-esteem and had never so much as kissed a boy. Any attention from guys at all, I thought, was a good thing. But when two guys sitting together on a park bench yelled the French equivalent of "Hey hottie" at me I felt really uncomfortable and actually very frightened as well as disgusted. I was wearing a normal shirt, maybe a little tight, and a knee-length skirt, nothing scandalous. I really don't like catcalls. It's downright creepy.

I think that while confronting them might do something to stop it, it is a very scary thing to do and potentially dangerous. I would not be able to do it.

Answer 5

I was 10 years old the first time I was ever catcalled. I know, it sounds awfully young, but I hit puberty really young so I looked 14 when I was 10. Anyway, I was walking home from elementary school and these boys who had to have been about 16/17 years old were sitting in the park outside of the school just loitering. As I walked past them one of the guys yelled at me, "Hey this guy right here wants to f*ck you." It scared the h**l out of me so I ran away from them as fast as I could.

It wasn't until I was about 13 that this became a daily issue. Has been ever since, unless I'm out with my boyfriend or some other male friend in which case most guys cease the harassment. I get catcalled as I'm walking to work/school/the grocery store pretty much every day though since I'm usually alone. I've even had guys catcall me in the presence of other women and the other women will call me an uptight ***** because I tell their a*****e male friends to shove it. It's like, uh hello, this is NOT a compliment to me you jackasses!

Answer 6

Not so much here but when I lived in Saudi, it happened all the time. Same for when I visited Italy - the men won't leave women alone there to the point that I won't ever go back for a visit. I don't know what their deal is.

In the US, it's typically wolf whistlers from foreign countries.  Sometimes older American men can be Smile n**i's: where they bother complete female strangers for no apparent reason other than to say "Why don't you smile?" Like we're all supposed to walk around with a goofy grin while picking out produce at Kroger or when we walk out of a public crapper. I've heard them called Mood Oglers as well.

Answer 7

How much time do you have?

I was sexually harassed on the streets of India every day when I lived there. I just learned to block it out. I experimented with wearing salwar kameez but it didn't make one jot of difference. Men used to run up to me in the street mostly shouting out '**** you' and 'You want s*x? You want s*x!'. I was groped a couple of times on buses and trains. It happens frequently to Indian women, not just Western women. Drawing attention to the situation is the only thing to do - talk loudly or even shout at the person if need be, people stand by you against the harasser.

In this country (England), I've been shouted at by builders, whistled at, cat called at etc. Just walking down the street minding my own business, not wearing 'revealing clothing'. Usually I ignore it, especially if it's a group of builders - any reaction will just encourage them. But if it's a single man harassing me on the street I tend to get quite aggressive. Usually it's Arabs/Turkish men. They tend to back off quite sharpish with their tails between their legs.

Yes, mostly it is men in groups. It definitely seems like they want to intimidate and bully women. Like I said, my reaction depends on the situation - builders I ignore (and later report, as it is banned by councils and many building firms now), single / a couple of men on the street I confront aggressively, gropers on public transport I draw attention to their behaviour. This is what has worked best for me in the past.

Edit

I forgot about the 'Why don't you smile' thing. That used to happen loads. Maybe I look more cheerful these days.

Answer 8

I commuted to New York City to work when I was young, and being groped or flashed on the street was not uncommon.  The b******s were very good at getting away before you could react.  

Answer 9

Okay, I'll be one of the very few guys who actually has the balls to talk about the issue.

I'm a straight dude. Yes it happened to me when I was 14, by a dude who was 15 but was built like a grown man. I was a real small guy for my age.  This happened on the basketball courts by the street. After all our friends left the basketball court in my friends backyard, he tried to pull some random sexual c**p after I was trying to leave. I prepared to fight him, and he stopped, took off, and I made sure I didn't hang out with shadey people again.

Now, when ever I'm around really big masculine guys who stare at me, all I can think is, 'either this guy is just being an a*hole, or he's one of those shady, closet case g*y/bi guys who blends in easily as straight.' And steer clear of em.

Answer 10

When I was in high school, I would walk home from school, and several times I had OLDER MEN (thirties or so) try to pick me up. Like they didn't know that I was underage...I had a backpack on and a school uniform. Creeps.

One day I had a COP stop me when I was walking home, and try to tell me that he had gotten a "suspicious persons" report and was checking it out. What's "suspicious" about a sixteen yr old walking home from school? Of course, he just wanted to flirt, and that's exactly what did, asking me if I had a boyfriend, etc. HE made me way more uneasy that the thirty-somethings on their lunch breaks in their suit and tie.

Then there was your general wolf whistles and the like, but those were usually from my high school peers. Not a big deal.

In college I was followed to my car several times, when I would go to the mall,  or some place similar. It was during the day, but still, it was weird, and a little unsettling.

I find it interesting that many women in countries where head or full body coverings are required, get a lot of sexual harassment on the street. You hear all the time that girls get harassed because "of what they were wearing," and that if girls would dress more modestly, they would not get that unwanted attention. So why, then, do women get harassed when they are covered head to toe? I saw a Youtube video of two girls wearing the hajib (I'm not sure which country they were in) walking down the street, and two young men were harassing them, trying to pull up their skirts, grabbing their butts, grabbing them by the arm, etc. The girls tried to ignore them and hurry away, but the guys were relentless. Why, if harassment usually happens because of "what the girl wears," do girls who are completely covered get harassed? From what I understand, sexual harassment on the street is rampant in Egypt, even though the women dress modestly, and it's very bad in other countries where women are REQUIRED to dress modestly, as well. Explain that one, harassment apologists...

EDIT--Colonel Reb--Funny, you're the ONLY person that didn't get a thumbs down for relating some of the things that have happened to them. Now why would that be? (BTW, I'm not suggesting it was you.)

Answer 11

daily , women are abusive with their mouth all over the place now and i find it destructive to everyone .

Answer 12

you know as a man, I remember one time working with a married gal who was older then me who would grab my *** and always make sexual comments. It actually did make me feel uncomforatable, but it's not like I wept or was a tramatic experience or anything.  

Answer 13

Harassment: Some guy hollered at me while I was waiting for a bus. I flipped him off. The end.

Not harassment: Today I was looking for some change for a pair of homeless guys, and one of them told me I was gorgeous.

I think it's better to ignore the person when they aren't following you or trying to touch you. In retrospect, flipping the first guy off was a risky move.

Answer 14

Granted it might be the neighborhood I live in (low income, lots of drugs/gangs etc, it's the only area for dozens of miles around me where the rent is under $1000/month, ideal for a starving student such as myself) But for me, street harassment is nearly a daily ordeal.

If it's not catcalling, it's someone following me when I walk to my car or to the gate of my apartment building trying to hit on me, it's honks from the cars on the busy street adjacent to my building, it's leering and staring and occasionally when I'm standing in the street waiting for cars to pass so I can cross it to go to the convenience store, men will pull over and ask "how much?" or "Want a ride?" as to insinuate I'm a prostitute.  Once an older man did this and even pulled out his p***s and showed it to me while he was still in the car.  I just ran back to my house.

Keep in mind that I do NOT dress provocatively, standard jeans and over-sized t-shirt usually.  And I don't by any means consider myself to be anything above average-looking.

Usually I ignore them and keep walking pretending that I can't hear them and keep my eyes straight ahead when they have pulled over or are in front of me doing this.  I have on bad days said something nasty to them or rolled my eyes, but I find that this usually just excites them and they continue to try to talk to me, when if I ignore them they usually just leave me alone.

It really sucks.  I wish I could just go about my business and not be bothered.  It's to a point that when I do have to dress up and wear make-up etc for a special occasion or job interview, ahead of time I'll move my car to the alley hoping it won't be towed just so I can get to my car as fast as possible without drawing any unwanted attention to myself after I'm done getting ready.

Great question