Do you have tips for homeschool & study for my 9th grader who is failing many subjects?

Question

I am keeping her in regular high school but we need a more hands on active approach. She has 2-3 F(ailing grade)s, 2 D's and here we are at the end of 1st semester. She's been counselled by family, our Pastor, a mentor, the Vice Principal, etc... and has many resources.

It is time for me to improve and apply my teaching skills. Education is extremely important not only in life in general but to my husband and I and our families.

This is not what we expected, but for her sake and just for a normal chance at peace, I am prepared to do whatever it takes to get through to her and to improve her grades, work, motivation.

I stay home for her and our 1 year old.

She is a very smart girl and socially very popular but she is not applying herself and gets upset whenever it is time to work. We work on helping her full time - it is only draining because it all has been almost totally ineffective.

Thanks for your help. I'll add details if needed.

Answer 1

Is she currently homeschooled?  What I mean is, are you looking for ideas on how to homeschool her, or more to "afterschool" her?

Both are completely feasible options; with homeschooling, you have the freedom (and the responsibility) to choose her curriculum and teaching methods, and with afterschooling (basically homeschooling her as a supplement to her classroom education), you have the structure of her school to back you up.

The first thing I would suggest doing, if you're afterschooling her, is to talk with her teachers to find out what skills she needs to work on.  As they see her each day and work with her in their particular subject, they will likely be able to pinpoint some things for her to work on - taking notes, effective study habits, reading comprehension, or even focus in class.  They may also have ideas of things for you to work on at home with her to improve these areas.

My next suggestion, whether you're looking at homeschooling or afterschooling her, is to get in touch with a homeschool group or two in your area.  You don't have to be a member in order to take advantage of the knowledge of the moms there; because the group will most likely be run by "veteran" moms who have already graduated children, they will probably have some great ideas to help you go more "out of the box" to reach your daughter.  Because homeschool parents teach in a different environment, they often have different teaching methods than classroom teachers.  (If classroom teachers have the opportunity to work with a student one-on-one, they often also use methods like this.  It's just a matter of logistics.)

Utilizing the knowledge and suggestions of both your daughter's teachers and local homeschool parents should give you some great ideas to help her.  You need to find the source of whatever is causing her to fail - and for this you'll need to talk with her and get her to open up - but after that, the ideas and suggestions you get from the sources above should help you a lot.

The transition to high school can be difficult for some students - it's a whole new world, and subjects which were previously easy are taught on a whole new level.  However, getting her to accept help and apply herself now will save her a lot of trouble (and cramming) down the road.

Hope that helps - good luck!

Answer 2

maybe you can ask her teachers for a after school study hall???

Answer 3

What type grades do her friends get?  They could be part of the problem.

I had to set very specific goals for my socially popular, bright, but failing multiple subjects daughter.  Her cell phone, IPod, lap top, TV, etc were mine until the goals were met.  I ended up having to home-school her to get the goals met but it was worth it.  

Yes, she shed many tears and we butted heads on a number of issues...I had to be very tough and she probably hated me for a while.  We also weeded out friends with what we call the "slacker" mentality except for Saturday contact.  As she replaced her "It's cool to be dumb," boy crazy friends with friends who had education first attitudes, she made remarkable progress.

Now she and her new best friend (also home schooled)are retaking the SAT to see which of them can get the higher score (currently 1480 but they have the goal of 1500 each).

When asked about her lack of trying/ caring she now laughs and says her old friends would have made fun of her if she had done well.  Her new friends would laugh if she didn't.

Answer 4

If she feels like she can complain and get you to do the work for her, guess what's going to happen?

She needs a clear-cut set of expectations and consequences.  You say she's social?  I don't think she gets to be as social unless she's getting her 'job' (let's face it, that is what she is expected to do, so it is her job) done.  I am not one that thinks hammering memorization will do the trick- she needs to UNDERSTAND the material, not just regurgitate it back.

I assume she has a study area set aside where she is not bothered (no TV, no radio, no food, no one year old, and NO YOU HANGING OVER HER?  She should get to take 5-10 minute breaks every hour, no more.

Arrange for more interaction between the teachers and you- if you know exactly how she's done this week, rather than waiting another month to find out her progress, you can steer her in the right direction.

If she's getting an allowance, a penalty may be effective there as well (do NOT give her $ for A's or B's!  That is an external reinforcement you don't need!).  

Is she unhappy about these grades?  Is she doing anything to try and correct them?  She may in fact need some extra help if she's just not getting it the way it is presented to her.  Sit her down, talk to her, and see what she thinks needs to happen so that everyone can be happy.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Most schools offer tutoring or after-school programs that employ trained professionals who know how to deal with this type of situation. Also, maybe she should be tested for a learning disability. Lots of students with ADD tend to not do well in school and get frustrated with homework.

Answer 6

I taught for many years, and I am currently a school principal.  One thing I discovered in my own family was I could teach kids all day, but when it came to my own son, we completely butt heads.  I think it became a control thing.  May I suggest hiring a tutor for your daughter?  That way she understands you want her to succeed, but it's not "your grades" at stake.  It will be a lot easier for both of you, I think.  If a tutor isn't feasible, then contact your daughter's teachers.  They will be able to provide you with materials similar to what she has to do in school, and you will be able to reinforce the same content at home.  Realize though, A LOT of kids have a tough time making the transition to high school, so if she has a rough year this year, that doesn't mean she will next year.  In any event, focus on the positive.  Realize homework doesn't have to be done right when she walks through the door.  Have her create a study schedule, and you just help her to stick to it.

Answer 7

reward her if she does good on her studies

that what happens to me, im in home school in the 8th grade

if she doesnt have a job pay her for good grades like:

A=$10

B=$5

C and D=$0

F= mean she pay you 5 dollars for each f

Answer 8

If you are prepared to homeschool her then this sounds like what she may need.  Let her choose the subjects she wants to study and together find the books or resources that she can learn from.  Giving her the control and greater decision making puts her education straight back in her lap where it belongs.  Keep encouraging her and lovingly guiding her and she will see how much you trust her.  Every teenager blossoms with trust...