Do you have to offer children a meal, or can you put on the invite that for children under "blank" age...

Question

there will be a set menu of "blank option". For our reception we are having a totall of 5 deffinite children as well as 2 other possiblly attending. The kids attending range from the oldest being 8 (almost 9 at the time) and the youngest will be about 2. The childrens menu offered is chicken fingers and fries and it is $10 per child. Is it acceptable NOT to give children the option of a full cocktail/station style reception. We will be having a mashed potato bar that they will be welcome to partake in as well as 2 dessert stations they can eat from. But if we were to give them the choice of a main entree (not the kids menu) we will then have to pay $100 per child. Is it acceptable to let people know that say children under 10 will have a set menu of chicken fingers and fries? Or is that in bad taste. I am really NOT going to pay full price for a bunch of kids that wont liekly eat it anyway. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think it's just fine to add to the invite. If the parents have questions, they will call you.

Many caterers have a separate menu for children that is locked in.

Answer 2

I think that is totally acceptable!  It would be a little ridiculous to pay $100 for them (you're right they won't eat close to what an adult meal would include).

Kids will be fine with chicken fingers and a dessert bar (of course!).  I wouldn't give it a second thought, it's not rude, it just makes sense.

Answer 3

Kids don't care about the main course - it's the desert they want to get into!!!!!!!!!!  LOL

I think that's fair enough - it's very expensive @$100 per child!!!!  Perhaps just let the parents know this is why you've chosen to do it this way - they'll understand.  I have 3 kids, and if I knew that it would cost you $300 just so they had a choice I'd be really uncomfortable with that!

Chicken fingers and fries sounds great - if the kids are still hungry their parents can share a bit of their dinner with them.

Like I said though, as long as they can get stuck into the desert I don't think they're going to care!!!

Have a fantastic day :)

Answer 4

I think it is a good idea to offer a children's selection. That is what we are doing. See response card below:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3074/2676...

Answer 5

I think having a set option for young kids is fine - if they want to try the "grown-up meal," they can have a bite off Mom or Dad's plate. Or they might snag a little bit of roast chicken or whatever from the station - no one will even notice, and you won't have to pay $100 for them.

Answer 6

one selection for the children with no choice is totally acceptable.

Answer 7

No, add it to the invitation of those that have that age grooup kids, and I would even follow up with a call or a e-mail, explaining it, people need to know, so they can make other arrangements, like carrying a snack in a purse. Say " Children's meal has been arranged for children under 10". "Or a chicken tenders and fries has been arranged for children under 10".

And I do not blame you a bit, I've seen kids at restaurants, buffets, and weddings, they may not eat at all, just run wild.

I will tell you one story about meals in purses: my Aunt was an Army officer's wife, my uncle came home from tour, to Washington state, my Aunt and cousin lived in Illinois. My Mom and Dad took her and the kid to Washington to meet the  ship. My cousin was known to not eat her meal at the table, so her Mom bagged up the meal, and 100 miles up the road when cousin started whining that she was hungry, out would come the chicken leg from the purse, and a brusk "here, eat this" announced by her Mom. Moms, and especially military  Mom's are often more prepared for "emergencies" than others. So, Mom can be prepared with kid's fav snack, just in case.

Absolutely you are right to make the decision not to spend $100 on a small kid, and right to mention it to the parents. And while I like the person's responsecard from above, it sounds like the kid is being given a choice. I would word it so it is understood that kid's under a certain age will be getting the kid's plate.

Answer 8

That is perfectly acceptable...and most people expect that you will be giving the child a child's meal.

Here is how you can word it:

Please Respond By July 31, 2008

M_____________________

____Regrets  ____Accepts

___Prime Rib ___Chicken ___Vegetarian

Children under age 12 will be served a special meal

___Number of Children under 12 attending

Since you only have a few children invited to the wedding you could just print up a few RSVP cards like this for the people with children. The rest of the RSVP cards can be done normally.

Answer 9

When you do your RSVP cards (where they'd be picking their menu choices) you have the menu choices on there, with a note that the children's menu will be provided, so they know not to choose selections for their children.  Unless you're dealing with kids with dietary needs (and in this case, you'd be getting a call from the parents who might just bring the kid's food themselves anyway) that should cover it.  And as to what I think, I think it's more than appropriate, and I'd do the same thing.  Kids aren't going to want salmon or rare seared steaks, kids like food they're familiar with, and the parents will understand that too (and probably be glad you chose that)

Answer 10

It sounds like you know which guests are likely to bring children.  I would contact those families individually (no need to tell everyone when it only applies to 5-10 children.)

As for your question, I think that is perfectly appropriate.  You don't have to say it like they have no choice.  You could present it like, "Unfortunately, the only children's food this caterer provides is chicken tenders and fries.  We'll have some open food available as well.  Is there something else you'd like us to arrange?"  That way, you're not even offering the $100/plate situation (which I agree is ridiculous.)  It also shows them that they can decide what's best for them.  And I'm sure most parents won't mind the chicken fingers anyway.