Question:

Do you have to pay to put your child up for adoption?????

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Do you have to pay to put your child up for adoption?????

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  1. Costs do vary but I think on average it costs the adoptee a complete sense of self and shatters the ability to love unconditionally, while depleting the stores of trust. It costs feeling acceptance, and having one's natural abilities and traits modeled.

    For the mother of adoption loss it can cost her future fertility, confidence, self-esteem. Sometimes it costs her severe depression and lack of trust in others. There is a toll of resentment her family may bear for not helping her keep her baby.

    For the adoptive parents, usually it's just a bunch of money. Oh and some paperwork.


  2. No, you don't. I put my son up for adoption 4 years ago and it was the best thing I've ever done. Yeah, it hurt, but knowing that he is happy and healthy and enjoying a life that I wouldn't be able to give him makes it better. Don't listen to the people who say it's a horrible decision and that you'll regret it the rest of your life. You won't if you're doing it for the right reason.

  3. I don;t think so but if you are thinking of it you are letting your child go and your child could be really good at something and then you would be poor so think about what you do sometimes.

  4. I don't think so.  Call a social worker and talk to them.  

    If you're just having temporary problems that make you think you need to make an adoption plan for your child, you can also discuss getting temporary help with a social worker.

    Making an adoption plan is a hard thing to do.  I wish you and your child the best.

  5. No and some states will allow you to give your baby up without requiring you to even give your name.  The states all want the best for you and your child.

  6. no you don't ever have to pay to put your child for adoption.

  7. Also, if your child is not a newborn, some of the same agencies who place newborns will also place older children.  They even place an older child along with a newborn you're giving birth to if you have a child you can no longer take care of.  

    Any good agency will provide free counseling to you without your having to commit to an adoption.  Look for one that provides services "with no pressure."  This type will also help you find other services if you choose to parent your child.

    I don't think any of these agencies charge you.

    I am seeking to adopt a baby boy or two and have looked at many many websites. I haven't found any that charge the birth parents anything.  They should arrange for your medical needs to be paid for and all of the legal fees too even if its not a newborn.

  8. Only with your soul.

  9. No, the adoption fees are covered by the agency you go through.

    I'm not sure if you've been in this area of Y!A for long, but this forum is full of adoption experience from every angle of adoption there is, and experiences with adoption passionatley ranging from horrible and traumatic to wonderful. You will therefore get everything from "do not place your baby for adoption" to "you're a hero to the adoptive family". If you can take all the opinions with a grain of salt and realize that these are all just opinions from people who have had individual experiences then it's interesting to see what people have to say. Remember, only YOU can decide what's best for your situation, and your situation won't nessicarily turn out like someone else's. The outcome of adoption is based on a number of different factors: whether it is your decision or not, if it goes by your terms, the agency you choose, the adoption worker you're with, and the adoptive family you choose. Same goes for the experience of the adoptee. So, that being said, stick to your guns and try not to let someone who is extremely passionate on one end of an extreme view of adoption sway you differently than what you think is best. Best of luck to you!

  10. No you do not. :)

  11. Yes, I lost years of my life to the impact of placing my child for adoption.  There is a cost.  It may not be financial, but the loss is a heavy burden to pay.

  12. Yes.A life time of grief.

  13. No. If you do it through an adoption agency the adoptive parents will generally pay all expenses such as adoption fees and medical bills. If you wait until after you have the baby, you can simply drop it off at any hospital, police, or fire station and they won't ask any questions. They will just be thankful that you did not hurt the baby. Good Luck

  14. No, I didn't pay and i have no idea what my daughters aparents had to pay. It was in 1972.

  15. I don't think there is ever a charge for putting your baby up for adoption.  Usually the adoptive parents pay the medical bills of the mother.

    I don't understand the thumbs down.  What I said is true.  I think people just go through here and click thumbs down for the heck of it because they think it's funny!

  16. Sure you do.  My nmother had to pay her expenses at the Florence Crittendon Home in the 1960s.  Lyndon Johnson's 'Great Society' had yet to be enacted.

    My aparents said THEY paid the expenses.

    Agency double-dipping? Hmmmm.

  17. Nope.  Many states (Texas included) actually have a law that you can take any healthy newborn to a hospital or firestation, give it to a person there, and tell them you want to "legally abandon" the child and then just walk away - no questions asked.  You can volunteer your name, medical history, etc, but you do not HAVE to provide it.  

    However, if you are considering adoption, I would recomend doing an open adoption through a non-profit agency.  They will provide you with counseling to make sure this is the right decision.  You will be able to choose your baby's parents, and continue some form of relationship with the child and his/her family.  Most of the time the agencies will pay all your medical bills and some even help subsidize your rent and utilities while you are pregnant.

    It is also just as important to realize that while you do not have to pay to give your baby up, you are also not allowed to GET PAID for giving your baby up.  Medical and housing assistance from the govnernment or agencies is ok, but never accept a cash payment from anyone looking to "buy" your baby.  That is illegal and you would get into serious trouble.

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