Do you have to see your parent who has custody over you (not full) even if you really dont want to?

Question

like are you forced to see them

my dad says he has custody over me but i never ever want to see him and hes always trying to get me to go over to his house but i say no and hes telling me that i have to by the court

but its MY desission isnt it

Answer 1

Depends how old you are. Why don't you want to see your dad? That must be painful for him. I was supposed to stay over my dad's house every second weekend but when I started working at 16 I pretty much stopped going as I had work on weekends. He never tried to force me to go but I am sure he was hurt by it. If he hasn't done anything wrong to you please consider his feelings too, I am a parent now and I can only imagine how my dad would have felt.

If he is horrible to you then no he doesn't deserve anything from you

Answer 2

if the court said you have to see him, then u do..u didnt say how old u are..i know a lot of states will listen to the child if they are 13 or so..so  talk to your mom about it..maybe she can go back to court and u can tell them u dont want to see them..they wont believe your mom if she says it....good luck

Answer 3

No, it is the court's decision.  That does not necessarily mean you have nothing to say about it.  It will all depend on the reasons for not wanting to see your father, your age, and your maturity in handling situations and explaining things to a judge.  

Who are you staying with primarily?  What is the court order?  Apparently your father does not have sole custody?  Does he have joint custody with your mother?  Or does he have custody with liberal visitation with your mother?  These do make a difference, and you need to understand what the court order entails.  And you need to understand why the court did what it did.

Then you need to understand why you do not want to see your father.  Do you blame him for your parents' split?  Is he strict with his rules and you dislike anyone telling you what to do?Or?  What underlies this problem?  What is really going on?

Next, who can you discuss this with?  You need to talk to someone rationally and calmly about your feelings (your mom?), see if there are possible solutions, or if the situation really does require an attempt to convince the court that a change in custody is appropriate and necessary.  Or if you need to change your attitude and behavior.  If you are mature, you can discuss this rationally and work out what needs to be done and then how to do it.

Do not whine.  Do not have a temper tantrum.  Do not act like a spoiled brat.  You and your feelings will be dismissed as too childish and nonsense.  You need to think things through before you can work things through.  

Remember all this is necessary if you are to convince a judge that things need to be changed.  He/She will ask questions that need mature, sensible, thoughful answers.  If the judge thinks you are acting like a spoiled child, s/he will tell you in no uncertain terms to grow up and deal with the cards you've been dealt and not to waste the court's time on stupid kid tricks.  It is all up to you now.

Answer 4

if you are over the age of 13 then legally you can choose who you see and not see in the eyes of the law. Take him back to court and tell the judge you do not want to see him at all. And tell the judge it is your decision not your mom's

Answer 5

I am not sure why he would force you... I would not want U around if you did not want 2 be around, I am sure he has better things to do than feel like **** because U do not want 2 hand out.

Answer 6

I think it's such an unfair situation you are in.   My daughter is in the same boat, although at this stage she still wants to see her dad.

I'm guessing you have spoken to your mum about this, how does she feel about it?  If he's an abusive a$$ then I'm guessing you have your mum's support.

I would say just don't go.

All he can do is call the police - there's really nothing they can do about it though.  If he does call the police then just tell them exactly why you don't want to go there.  They'll probably just want to make sure that it isn't your mum interfering and trying to stop you from seeing your dad.

You are 14 years old, you shouldn't be forced to see someone who is abusive.  Abuse is not just physical, it can be mental, emotional etc.  He sounds like a very controlling person to me, and like the kind of man who tries to intimidate others and scare them into doing what he wants.

If he keeps up the intimidation, get your mum to step in on your behalf.  He can try and go to court over it, but since you are 14, the court is going to order in favour of what you want, not what he wants!

Best of luck sweetheart - stick to your guns and don't let him try and scare you into seeing him

edit:  After reading the extra details you added then I DEFINITELY say you shouldn't go.  Again, if he calls the police, then you need to tell them about his violence and tell them that you fear for your safety when you are with him.  NO ONE is going to make you be with a pig like that.

Answer 7

All I can tell you is how it is in the state of Nevada. My husband has full physical custody of our boys and their biological mother has visitation.

Unfortunately if he is forcing you to go you have to because it is his visitation and you are a minor. If he is willing to give you the choice then no you don't have to but it is up to him. Your mother would have to go to court and ask for a revision to the parenting plan and then she can ask that you speak to a court appointed counselor or the judge to assist in the determination of you not being forced to see him. It is a very hard situation and I am so sorry for you that you have to go through this. Good luck.