Do you hear "There are people dying in Africa so don't be concerned about your situation" much?

Question

For example, the other day I was listening to a conversation in a restaurant. There was a fifty year old man who had never been on a date in his whole entire life. He said that he was really worried because he doesn't want to die single and sounded really really sad. The other person who was with him told him that there are people that have it a lot worse than him, and that there are people dying in Africa, and that there are people who die as infants who never get married.

When I hear people throw "There are people who have it worse than you" or "There are people dying in Africa" at others when they hear someone say they're concerned or want to change their situation, I just don't understand it at all? For that one fifty year old, I don't understand how if he stays single for the rest of his life and never goes on any dates, how that will help those dying in Africa? That person who told him about the people in Africa is married himself. Why did he see the speck in that fifty year old's eye, when he didn't see the log in his own? (he's married but then he criticizes another for being worried about never having been on a date because there's people dying in Africa)

Answer 1

I hear it - I agree with you entirely on this issue. The people who say it appear to me to have no depth, or understanding & certainly don't want to get into serious debate about any issue. They just seem to me to want to state the obvious glibly then move on to superficials mainly concerned with themselves.

I personally find it insulting - they are failing to acknowledge the subject on hand in any depth.

Of course we know that everyone can find someone in a worse position than ourselves - but where are solutions to individual problems in this, where is a mutual sharing & compassion Ec etc I could go on but suffice it to say I was delighted to read your question & thought Oh yes! Another person in life who gets as aggravated as I do by stupidity!

Kind regards. UK

Answer 2

I think that each person can only be expected to deal with his or her own personal circumstance.  Frankly, that is all we HAVE to deal with.  Sometimes it helps people gain perspective when they consider the plight of others.  Other times, it only invalidates that person's feelings.  We must always remember that we all operate within our own context, no one else's.  To use "people are dying in Africa" as a blanket response to a person confiding in you is simply insensitive (and over-simplified).  Perhaps people who resort to that response have nothing else to offer...?  I guess I don't hear it much because I would choose to confide in other people if given that cavalier a response to my personal woes and worries.  

Answer 3

yup, hear that all the time. it serves as a reminder that they are people worse off than you. like you have a house to live in and you can even afford to go to a restaurant, while the people in africa cannot. and most of them are like...living at death's door.

usually the other people cannot understand how lonely to be single all his life, and underestimates the loneliness.

i guess most of us have been through this, hearing that others are worse off than us. and it is a fact. and the good thing about this is that it keeps you going on in life when you feel down.