Do you it's right for a man to expect that his wife cooks for him?

Question

To me this is kinda a no-brainer, but it was something that I was thinking about recently.

A while ago when I was having dinner at my ex's brother-in-law's house, he kept complaining about how dry the stuffing was. His wife then proceeded to say to me, "You know, I like that you completely finish your meal without anything bad to say."

I then responded, "I appreciate anyone cooking for me. How can I complain about something you didn't have to do for me in the first place?"

At which point her husband responded, "I work hard all day to provide for my family and I expect food on the table when I get home."

Now I didn't mean what I said as an insult to him but I can certainly see how he would get insulted by what I said. I have "foot-in-mouth disease" you could say.

But his response kinda left me wanting to say, "You're wife works full-time too and I don't think her job is any easier than yours. And also, by the look of it, she does more to take care of your kids.", but I bit my tongue as I was a guest in their home and obviously such a response would be inappropriate.

He also didn't feel the need to wash the dishes after we were done eating so I offered.

Now I understand that couples work together to decide who's responsible for what, but I couldn't help feeling his wife was getting the short end of the stick here.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I believe it is the wife's place to cater to her husband I have cooked since I was 18 and I am 43 now. Just because you have a meal all prepared and you are waiting at the door with a glass of tea in your hand doesn't mean that he shows how much he cares about it. They can come home throw the food on the floor or say they don't want it even though you have worked all day then come home to make the meal. Some men never help with housework and that's okay with me because I hope I am doing what I need to do. Thanks is enough for me.

Answer 2

He should have been more successful in his career so he could afford to have his wife stay home, raise his children and care for the family. But instead she has to work full time.

She picked him, she married him, she had kids with him-- she chose the short end of her stick.

Answer 3

I think you should get with his wife.

Answer 4

I agree with you totally.  My husband and I both work, and we take turns cooking and cleaning.  However I am pregnant with twins right now, and he has picked up alot of slack.  Wow...I'm gonna have to give him a great big hug and a kiss when he gets home.  Your ex brother in law makes me really appriciate my husband.

Now I have a friend who does not work.  Her job is taking care of the house.  She feels the need to have dinner on the table when her husband gets home.  I have to agree with that.  If my job was to stay home and take care of the house and do the errands, then that is what I would do.  Now as far as the kids go, they both take equal care of them.  He makes sure that she has breaks from the kids and even cooks sometimes on his days off, because he feels like she needs days off too.

Answer 5

Assuming you were a male, I wish my partner felt like you! He tends to think that he fulfills his role simply by earning income as well. And he thinks that providing financially IS contributing to the parenting of kids (obviously is is, but what does it mean if you're not spending time with them??).

I think that mentality is common amongst males, even in this day and age.

Such a shame.  

Answer 6

Oh wow don't even get me started! *lol* I will just say that I agree with you and that both parties should show appreciation for their spouse..  Sounds like she does but he needs to learn!

Answer 7

in every relationship people are put into certain roles. The roles are defined when the relationship starts. If the women is filed into that role, i would expect her to cook. But no, it is not right for him to say those things.

That is very inappropriate. Couples do work together but she is getting the short end of the stick.  

Answer 8

My husband expected me to cook for him. I had never cooked before, but no matter what I make he acts like it's great even what I know it was anything but.

Answer 9

I think is attitude was poor but If she is a stay at home wife or mother it is her job. It is nice to have the husband help from time to time to give you a break or just to show appreciation that's what my husband does but all in all I take full responsibility for everything that has to be done in the house that I am able to do which I have found is more than I would have thought. Meaning I am able to fix things around the house that need repaired as well as the so called everyday womanly duties.

Answer 10

This is all because this woman is married to a jerk. If he had your attitude, a grateful one his wife would cooking wouldn't seem like a chore but a deed done for a wonderful and loving husband. She's getting the short end of the stick because her husband is ungrateful.