Do you judge people who relinquish their children to adoption?

Question

Do you judge people who relinquish their children to adoption?

Answer 1

Depends on the situation i guess.  When I was younger my best friend had a baby (she was 16) and throughout the whole pregnancy she never spoke of adoption and acted as though she was happy about it all.  Then after having the baby, she only had him a few weeks when she started partying, drinking, etc. and ended up being accused of dropping her baby (literally dropping him on the floor while drunk) and child services stepped in and would only allow her supervised visitation and gave her Mom temporary custody.  They gave my friend the option of going to a place (group home) for young mothers and having them teach her how to be a good parent, find a job, etc.  She chose to just give him up for adoption as she wasnt ready to quit her partying.  She is now 24 and has to live with the fact that she gave up her child for very selfish reasons and regrets it.

Answer 2

I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to make such a decision. I suppose that I technically "judge" them since I tend to admire the decision. I truly believe that birth parents who feel they are not at a point where they can raise a child but have a deep love for the unborn child and see to it that they receive proper medical care and then make the gut wrenching choice to relinquish to a good adoptive family are hero's. Maybe that is not always the case, but it was in my experience, and I am truly grateful.

Answer 3

No.I very rarely judge anyone.I figure they have done the best they can and its not my business.

Answer 4

not in the slightlest. i think it is the least selfish and most brave thing a parent who could not care for their child properly could ever do.

Answer 5

Not at all.  I do feel bad that so many people who have relinquished, no matter the reason, continue to hurt from the loss -- and understandably so.

Answer 6

if they cannot handle taking care of a child then why look down on them for NOT killing the baby?? I think it is a great thing for these women to do for the babies, but they need to start worrying about birth control if they do not want to become parents....

Answer 7

why? What purpose would it serve to judge another human? So, no I don't judge.

Answer 8

Yes, I judge them as being moral and responsible people with very big hearts.

Answer 9

no.  i try my best not to judge anyone.  i don't have any idea of what their life is like, how they think and what they feel.  so how can i judge them?  i can try to be empathetic, but judge?  no.

Answer 10

of course not. they are just trying to do what is best for the baby. sometimes giving up your baby for adoption is really hard an pain full. if anything i would respect people who give a child up to be adopted.

              note: this doesn't mean that i think they didn't make a mistake getting pregnant in the first place but well... no one is perfect and what they do in there private life is none of my business unless they are harming someone else

Answer 11

I always find it's best not to judge people at all.  I *will* make an exception for convicted child molesters, though.

Answer 12

No, I admire them.

Answer 13

actually....no....some people abort....that's waaayyy worse...they give them a chance to live in better conditions that they can give to a baby

Answer 14

Not at all, if a person truely feels that this is the best desicion then so be it. In saying that, it really is a decision that needs to have careful consideration.

Answer 15

I think very highly of them actually. They went through 9 months of pregnancy usuallly knowing they are going to give up the child for adoption and they give someone who cant have a baby a chance when they could have just had an abortion.

I think if a women is strong enough to know they can't take care of there child, emotionally, financially etc and they care enough to give them to someone who can then they are admirable

Answer 16

Of course not.  I generally feel badly for them; nobody should have to be in a position where they don't feel they can raise their own child.  It must be horrible to not have your child in your life...I'm a mother myself and I think I'd go absolutely insane if I had to give up one of my kids.  I feel awful for any mother who gave up, or lost her child to adoption.

Answer 17

i try to not judge anyone for anything, including abortion andadoption, you never know when you will be in a situation where you might need to make a decision like this.

Answer 18

I commend them for not getting an abortion,  and doing what's best for the child.

Answer 19

no, i was adopted and i believe that my birth parents did what was right at the time.  I have had a wonderful life, and its thanks to them for being so unselfish and wating what was best for me.  They could have had me aborted, but decided to give me life instead.

EDIT to this * Why do I deserve thumbs down for this answer? :o( *

Answer 20

no

Answer 21

Christina A you don't deserve a thumbs down for your answer. It's those bitter people at work again. They keep going through and giving everyone with a supportive answer that may sound like you are pro adoption a thumbs down. I am going behind them and giving them all thumbs up if the answer is sincere and a thumbs down if the answer is a bad one (sarcastic and rude).

Answer 22

only the two that gave me up

Answer 23

No, people who place there child for adoption show that they love them. I Condemn the people who give birth and throw their child in the trash.

Answer 24

Nope.  It doesn't serve any purpose.

Answer 25

No, its a painful decision made in the best interest of the child.

Answer 26

I think it depends on what happens.   Some parents rights are terminated,  some are adopted at birth, some are relinquished later after some years.    

My father in law put my husbands half brothers and half sister up for adoption (without our knowledge) at ages 8, 10, and 12.  It had a devastating effect on them.  Of course, they probably were provided with a better life than that SOB would have given them anyway, but it still was traumatic.   He allowed some Amish people to adopt them.  They went from "regular" schools, TV, fully modern life to a very traditional Amish life.  Getting up at 3am to milk the cows and  plowing the fields by hand.   No electricity at all, no cars, nothing.   Actually, I think traumatic is a minimal term.  

Anyway.... adoption at birth is not a  bad thing if it is done for the right reasons.  

Good Luck.

Answer 27

i think that is good because instead of raising the child and giving it the worst future it could have had they get to have a chance at a better life. So no i do not judge them. They humble themselves.

Ok somtimes they do it for their benefit but they still put the child in a better situation than they would have been in.