Do you know a Mother in law that has changed for the better?

Question

My mother in law has distance herself from her son because she cant stand the fact that her 24 year old is not coming back home to her.

She does keep in contact with him via email only. He shares things with her about his job,College the babies,vacations etc.) She will only respond to his events.Like we don't exist.

This has gone on for 4 years. The first year she was mad (maybe at herself for kicking him out of her house) for dating me.(we weren't serious ''at all'' but the circumstances brought us closer)

When she moved to Iowa the same year she started saying how she misses everyone and wants to move back near her kids(all grown my husband is 24 others 26,40 42) She did move back the same year.During her visits when she was still living in Iowa we had lunch about 3 times and we talked about wanting to get to know each other. I told her I couldn't wait for her to move back to shop and garden with her (we both love to garden) I was truly excited. She even opened up and told me about her failed marriage and how she regrets not being there for her kids when they were growing up. I consoled her and told her she shouldnt blame herself anymore and she would be the best grandmother ever.

We now live in the same town and she will not have anything to do with us as a family for ''NOTHING''.

It bothers me because she is a absent grandmother.

Have you ever known someone like this to turn over a new leaf? Or is it a total lost cause?

Thanks all.

Answer 1

Do you invite her to do things?  I know it takes both sides to have a relationship but someone needs to start the ball rolling.

With so much talk about interfering in-laws maybe she just doesn't want to over step her boundaries

It takes time and hard work to figure out just where they are.  It sounds like all of you could have an amazing relationship, hope it works out.  I adore my grandchildren and love spending time with my son and daughter-in-law.

Answer 2

I heard there was one case back in 1948 and there were rumors of another in 1982, but I wouldn't hold out much hope.

Answer 3

You never know what can happen.  Nothing is impossible.  I have only seen people change when something happens.  Sorry to say but some need a wake up call.  Not every mother in loving, Not every father is supportive, not every grandparents is into their grand babies.  It's sad but this is life.  I would keep the door open and see what happens.  

It's better if she is negative for her to keep her distance then create a problem relations for your children.  Remember her loss.    

Answer 4

No.  We moved to the town where my MIL lives after my father in law died.  She was friendly for a few months.  Then nothing.  Did not see her grandkids for years.

PS  We moved back where we came from.

Answer 5

Mine did, well not totally she still slips up now and then but a lot less than she use to.

Actually what you described here sounds more like my mother than my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law thinks she knows what is best for everyone and everyone needs to do what she thinks is best. I took it for eight years and then one day she said something that made me give her eight years worth in about fifteen minutes. It took her a year to get over it and since she has been a better person to be around.

My mother? Well she is how she is and I can not change her just like you can not change your mother-in-law.

You accept what you can not change.