Do you know any jokes suitable for an 8yr old?

Question

My son says I don't know any good jokes! lol

Answer 1

why did the tomato blush?

because he saw the salad dressing!

Answer 2

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

********

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Answer 3

why are pirates called pirates?

'cos they arrrrrgh

my sister-in-laws favourite joke

Answer 4

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dot. Dot who? Dots for me to know, and you to find out!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? You just said it!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Butch, Jimmy and Joe. Butch, Jimmy and Joe who? Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a little kiss and let's Joe places!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Despair. Despair who? Despair tire is flat.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Icy. Icy who? I see your yellow teeth!!!.

Answer 5

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

What animal has two humps and is in Alaska?

A lost camel.

Answer 6

1) I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any

2) A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? 'Well, 'says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' so he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says ' I'm going to have to put him down.  'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'  No, because he's really heavy'

3) 'So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'

And a voice said, 'You are.'

4) 'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ' Is that the local swimming baths?' He said ' It depends where you're calling from.'

They make me laugh far too much, hopefully they'll keep an 8 year old happy =)

Answer 7

Joke 1:

An 80 year old couple was having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replied, "Sure."

She then asked him,

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said,

"Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that."

He said,

"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied,

"Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said,

"I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily:

"I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

Joke 2:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Joke 3:

Three women go to Heaven. St Peter says,

"We only have one rule here in Heaven: don't step on the ducks."

They enter Heaven, and there are ducks all over the place and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

St Peter chains a really ugly man to her and says,

"Your punishment is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man."

The second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and St Peter chains another ugly man to her.

The third woman was very careful where she stepped. A while later, St Peter chained a handsome man to her. He was tall, tanned, slim and muscular.

The woman, thinking that this is great, remarks,

"I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity."

The guy says,

"I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

lol hope I helped!

Answer 8

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.

He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"

(YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)

And a little voice came out of the box.........

"I heard you the first time.......I'm putting on my shoes!"

joke2

A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

"Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

Answer 9

jk1.KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There?

Interrupting cow

Interrup..

MOO!

                                                                                                         jk2. KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There?

Arthur

Arthur who?

Arthur more cookies in the jar?

jk3.KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There?

lettuce

lettuce who?

lettuce in.

jk4.KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There?

Latin!

Latin who?

Latin me in would be a nice idea!

jk5.KNOCK KNOCK

Who's There?

Cheese!

Cheese who?

Cheese! Just open the door and let me in!

hope i helped.

Answer 10

On a tour of an old European castle, a young American visitor becomes very nervous. Finally the elderly guide, noticing how jumpy she is, tries to reassure her. "Don't worry, he tells her. I've never seen a ghost in all the time I've been here." "And how long is that," asks the tourist. "About 400 years"

Answer 11

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a maggot inside?

Biting into an apple and finding a half a maggot inside.

What did the ball do when it stopped rolling?

Looked round

Whats the difference between a post box and an elephants bottom?

Don't you know?  Well I'll never ask you to post one of my letters.

Two bits of sick were walking down the road together.  One said to the other..."I was brought up round here."

Whats the difference between broccoli and Bogeys?

Kids don't like broccoli.

Answer 12

What's orange & sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What to you call a deer with no eyes & no legs?

Still no idea.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.

Sit on the couch and tell me about it.

I can't I'm not allowed on the furniture.

My wife's gone to the West Indies.

Jamaica?

No she wanted to go.

Answer 13

What do you call a french man in sandals?

Phillipe philop