Do you know anymore funny jokes.?

Question

the funniest jokes win.

Answer 1

Why cant you play uno with a mexican?

because they steal all of the green cards!! No I am not racial  its just funny.

Answer 2

The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.

First Pupil: "I visited my Nana."

Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."

Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo."

Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."

Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time."

Teacher: "Excellent. And what was the name of the book?"

Third Pupil, with a big grin: "Winnie The s**+*!"

Answer 3

why don't mexicans eat at taco bells? because it's chihuahua.

Answer 4

Confucius Says

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Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who is jacking off into a peanut butter jar is ******* nuts.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have S****y time.

Man who go to bed with a problem in hand wakes up in the morning with a solution in hand.

He who refuses to listen is lying.

He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.

He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind.

Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

Man who have woman on ground have piece on earth.

Woman who fly upside down have hairy crackup.

Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger.

Man born in backseat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless b*****d.

It take square *** to **** a brick.

Rape is impossible. Lady run much faster with dress up than man with pants down!

He who sniffs Coke, drowns.

Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!

To make egg roll, push it.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy...

He who f**t in church sit in own pew.

He who ***** dynamite gets big bang out of it.

She who rides bike peddles *** all over town.

He who lose key to girlfriends apartment get no new key.

Man who pick nose - head cave in.

Fly which rests on toilet seat gets pissed off.

Man who eats photograph of his sire is soon spitting image of his father.

Woman who put chicken and peas in soup, very unhygienic.

Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.

Man who p**s into strong wind gets wet.

Bread that is cast upon water gets soggy and sinks.

Hamsters which crawl into the wrong o*****e get ****-faced.

Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.

Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom.

All men eat, but Fu Manchu.

Secretary not part of furniture until screwed on desk.

Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker...

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus.

He who let woman on top is ******* up.

People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.

Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-house.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky.

Answer 5

A little boy named tommy walks in on his mother and father jumping up and down on eachother nude. He walks away back to his room calmly.

His mother realizes he just saw them and quickly puts on her clothes and goes to talk to tommy. She says if he saw anything uncomfortable. He said no. She says well you know daddy has a big stomach, i have to jump on him to flatten it.

Tommy says dont waste your time. The mother says why not? Tommy says well, you know mrs.johnson next door? she comes over when you go shopping, gets down on her knees and blows it up again!