Do you know anyone in an arranged marriage?

Question

A couple of years ago I worked with an Indian man who said he didn't date because his parents back in India would find his wife. I thought "oh, this poor fellow". Well, about a year later he gets a message from his parents that "she" has been chosen and he needs to come back to India, get married, and take her to his home in USA. Then I thought "oh, that poor woman". So he goes to India. About three weeks later we arrange a work function where she will attend and we can meet her. So we go.

HOLY c**p this woman is like a total knockout, like any man would love to be with this girl. She's really nice and friendly, great body, and huge hard b***s... I mean I almost dropped my drink. Then as I'm talking to her, she says she is already enrolled in a medical PhD program in USA and she can't wait to come and work on it. She was just absolutely beautiful and smart and social and... it just completely blew my expectations of arranged marriage. The couple even seemed to get along pretty well even though this relationship was fixed and only 3 weeks old.

Anybody know any similar or different stories about arranged marriage?

Answer 1

I actually have 3 cousins who are in marriages that was arranged. My ex- aunt was originally from Jerusalem where she met my uncle( there for a vacation) after 2 weeks of seeing each other everyday she decided to move to the states. they got married and had 3 children. Each of their 3 children (my cousins) were sent to Jerusalem when they turned 16 to marry someone that was arranged for them when they were first born. Even though they were legally born in united states, their grandparents arranged this. My aunt not wanting to go against the traditions of her culture agreed and talked my uncle into agreeing also. Each have been married now for many years and seem to be very happy in the marriage (arrangement). As a matter of fact my oldest cousin just celebrated the birth of her 2nd child last month.  

Answer 2

LOL What WERE your expectations? The idea of an arranged marriage is not to force the two people to marry each other against their compatibility and wishes. The idea is generally for someone who knows the person best (the parents, for example) to use their connections and networking skills to find a girl/guy that would be a suitable match for their child. It's like your own personalized matchmaking service where everyone is personally invested in finding the best possible mate for you. What's not to like? And it's not like they're only gonna fix you up one time and that's it. If the two people don't click, the search starts again; in most cases, people are not forced into marriage against their wishes.

I had a penpal from Bangladesh for about 10 years, since I was 14 years old; that was before the Internet, so we wrote each other (it used to be my hobby, corresponding with people all over the world). Well, he actually ended up in an arranged marriage; him and his wife eventually moved to the States and had a child. He explained to me the whole arranged marriage tradition and how it's done in his culture, it was interesting; he was happy with his wife, as far as I could tell. I think, the main misconception in the West is equating "arranged marriage" with "forced marriage", which much of the time is definitely not the case.