Do you know if I have bipolar or am I just paranoid?

Question

I want to get tests but i'm afraid of looking stupid if I turn out to be fine so I'm asking your opinion. I'll give you some reasons why I think I might have it.

When I was about 5 or 6 I was afraid of dying. When it came close to nighttime I remembered that I would always scream and cry and refuse to sleep for fear of dying overnight. Even now the same fear lingers, though I don't cry about it but I always have to have the hall light on when I sleep and I usually fall asleep 12:00 AM at the earliest. And thinking about death makes me feel really sad and depressed.

I scream at my parents alot and throw hard objects at them when I'm angry. When I was about nine I hit my sister in the head with a flashlight and once I pushed her into our sharp vent and she got a huge gash on her head. So in short I'm overly aggressive and have a big temper.

When I was little I couldn't go anywhere without my parents and I had some crazy delusion that my parents were going to leave me on the side of the road so I never let them from my sight.

But now I go anywhere but where my parents are, but I'm still scared that they will leave me.

Whenever I'm in a place with alot of people I feel like I'm suffucating (eg: at the school dance, alot of people, got a really bad headache, almost started to cry.) I always feel like being alone.

I always insult people and mostly I don't mean it but I get my friends mad because I say a remark that hurts them.

I have very low self esteem and I cry myself to sleep.

Some days I eat alot and some days I get by with barely eating a thing.

Extreme cravings for carbs.

I think about death and cutting. (cut twice but won't do it again)

I'm very paranoid and irritable.

Once My friend made a joke about me being skinny and I totally bit her head off and didn't talk to her for two days. And really, she was kinda complimenting me.

I have a feeling that everyone hates me and that I am an insignificant loser.

I'm Really jumpy and hyper and I either don't talk at all or talk way to much.

I'm really unorganized and in 7th grade my grade point avererage was 2.6.

Now (going into ninth) my 8th grade GPA was 3.0, barely.

My 3rd grade teacher was convinced I had ADD and wanted me out of her classroom.

I have never felt close to anybody before and I can sit for hours daydreaming. (about a bigger and better me) I always have to daydream myself to sleep if I want a chance of ever sleeping. (I still usually fall asleep really late.) I feel really tired and lazy (and at the same time really hyper) and at school I have no intrest in after school activities.

I'm obsessive about alot of things (like whether I'm fat or not, pretty or ugly.)

I am more interested in being alone in a dark room with my ipod than talking to people most of the time.

Most of the time I don't care about anything and I feel really empty.

I bite my nails frequently until they bleed.

I feel as if everything has to go my way.

I get bored alot and when I'm bored I either cry or stuff my face.

I have a bad memory. Like I keep forgetting to call people or do important projects.

I never finish what I start.

I have trouble focusing and sitting still. Like I have trouble paying attention in class and I'm always shifting around in my chair. It feels like I'm sitting on a spring.

I'm to sensitive, every little thing makes me cry.

I tend To put myself above others alot to make myself feel better. It ticks people off sometimes. My sister calls me egotistical, shallow, and selfish.)

For as long as I remember I had gotten in trouble in school. I once stomped out of my 3rd grade classroom.( As a result she called my parents and told them that I had a severe temper problem and then that brought up the whole ADD thing.) In 7th grade we played basketball in gym and my team made fun of me because I couldn't play it very well. So I just stalked out of the gymroom. My gym teacher and some other teacher began franticly looking for me and when they found me I got in big trouble.

I've gotten in trouble for hitting people at school.

All my teachers say I need an attitude adjustmant, I need to interact with other people more, I need to participate in disscusions, Take rules more seriously and accept responsibility for behavior, cooperate with others, display a positive attitude, follow directions, communicate more, and all that other stuff to indicate that I am a bad person.

I'm 14 years old, would you say it's childhood hormones, temporary deppression or bipolar (1 or 2) (I've been this way for as long as I can remember. So Please tell me what you think.

Answer 1

You sound very depressed and worrysome.  The experiences from your early childhood seem to have affected your emotions today and ability to trust others.  You do seem to have ADD/ADHD, but I don't mean it like it's a bad thing.  Has poor school performance affected your self esteem?  Many persons with ADD/ADHD are intelligent, but fidgety, impulsive and highly disorganized.  I'm not sure if you're bipolar because it doesn't sound like you are having manic episodes.

Answer 2

You know it mightn't hurt just to have a chat to your doctor.  I think most people I knew at 14 were going through a lot of changes which affected them, but some of yours sound pretty worrying.  If your doc says it's all normal, then you can rest easy.  Otherwise he can probably suggest a course of treatment (like seeing a psychologist).  Either way, you'll have a course of action to take which should make you feel like there is something to work towards.  

And never think it's a waste of anyones time or that you're being "overly dramatic".  Sometimes we need a bit of help and just don't know it (I didn't reach out for it until I was thirty... and thats a lot of wasted years of anxiety and self abuse).  

Good luck.

Answer 3

I am not a doctor, but i have a lot of experience on this. Only a doctor can give you a proper diagnosis. Anyways

Bipolar? Possibly bipolar 2 with mostly depression and hypomania, but i dont really see much hypomania. Some of the things you described happens to me(rude/selfish, angry, egotistical) when I am in a dysphoric mania, but there are ALOT of other things that happen to me, that are not happening to you.

You do seem like you have ADD/ODD/CD, OCD and social anxiety disorder.

ADD for the concentration/hyperness

ODD/CD is a behavioral/conduct problem which causes you to act how you are acting.

ODC for the obessive behavior you are having

and social anxiety disorder for the suffocating/nervous feeling around people. You might also have other anxiety disorders

These things added together can cause distress and cause you to have very low self esteem and makes you distant from people.

Most of the things you described I can relate to, I have bipolar 1, but there is a lot more to bipolar than what you are describing.

You could even be suffering from something entirely different like clinical depression and adhd, which can cause you to feel like you have bipolar disorder.

Answer 4

Don't be concerned about looking stupid if there is "nothing wrong".  Don't be concerned that we add new "labels' and disorders every year.



Be concerned that these things are affecting your life in a very negative way and see a Dr. for a general work up, a Psych if warranted and an open mind that you may need some kind of treatment...or you may need to be responsible for your actions.  Doesn't matter as long as you find help that works.  And no matter the conclusion you are not a bad person.  Something is causing this behavior and feelings.  You need to find out what before it gets worse and possibly more violent.  Regadless of the cause...there is help...but you have to want to get better and keep trying till you find the right help

Answer 5

You have several Personality Disorders, its nothing to be paranoid too much about :)

Paranoia Personality Disorder is one of them:

Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.

It seems you dont have it too badly, but dont worry I can relate. I have Paranoia very bad >_>;

Dependant Personality Disorder:

Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. Dependents often remain in abusive relationships. Over-sensitivity to disapproval is common. Dependents often feel helpless and depressed.

You seem to have this with your parents. Its alright to not want to lose them, everyone fears this :) Dont be so scared :)

Borderline Disorder you seem to have very high:

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing injury to their own body. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. Borderlines think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

I used to have this but stick with friends and make sure you know how important you are to them, especially your family. No need to think your inferior.

You also look like you have a bit of Avoident Personality Disorder, which is wanting to feel superior but you tend to avoid being around otehrs because it makes you feel inferior.

Try to think positive. Dont be affraid to be a little Vain, infact you need more Vanity lol And remember, if you think your inferior you might just become. Dont think so negatively try to make sure you know your important, especially to your loved ones. Its alright to love your parents so much, thats one of my qualities as well :D

Bipolar, that is just a possibility. Its just if your quick to emotions like very very sad at one time an then happy at another. Intense mood swings :) No large amount of evidence shows that.

Just try to think the oppposite of all these disorders and it'll go away in no time :D

Obsessive Compulsive PERSONALITY Disorder(NOT OCD) is what be both share as well. Every little thing must go our way D:< If not we get mad DX Its just pefectionism, so dont worry about it, Its actually a great quality especially in certain jobs lol

ADD is a possibility when you cant sit still or just cant pay attention for a long time, but I dont think its too major from your description.

s***w participation if you dont want to. You dont feel like discussing someschool c**p then dont! But if it counts for a grade, then at least throw in some obvious ideas or something just to be good lol

Ange issues? Yes I have them too and so does my Dad and both granpas, runs in the family for me >_>;

All I can say for that is when you get mad, try to stay in the room and dont get depressed. Its alright to feel a little bit of emotion, just dont make a scene and storm out. Just take it and keep it in until you're alone or with someone to comfort you and let it all out. You cant bottle it up all the time or else it will make everything worse and you'll explode cursing and fighting and yelling at some point.

Its all ok, its nothing serious and it starts to show all this at about our age(Im the same age), Just do your best to pay attention, and if its not interesting just pretend to pay attention. Think positive thoughts about yourself, then if someone tries to bring you down. Its because they dislike how good you are at soemthing they aren't. If you think thats not it, then just think about how important you are to your loved ones and keep your head high. Ignore all the bashes and flames you get.

Try to finish anything you start. The real world isnt like that and its best to stop that habbit as soon as possible. You cant just quit a job in the middle of something important. No they wont let you.

Its OK to cry, but try not to do so much. Try to stay around the things that make you cry, unless its just to bad, soyou can build an amunity to it. It might take a few weeks but it wil lhappen eventually. I over did it though. Nothing makes me cry anymore not even family dying >_>; lol Dont over do it klike I did XD

Try not to hit peoepl unless its just messing around. I've gotten in trouble for that too lol

If you want a better answer try here:

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality...

Its a test and I think it will help a lot to find out if you have something wrong and then just look up how to find any "cures" for them. I just consider thinking and doing the opposite as much as possible lol

I really hoped I've helped. I have the same problems so if you need anything you can just email or something :D