Do you know what I'm talking about?

Question

will-he ?

will-he? lives inside my head

and so he joins me in my bed

he rises when it's time for me

and i see him and he sees me

will-he? is my own best friend

i talk with him to heal and mend

he never knows what i will say

because i change from night to day

and will-he? is my counselor

he listens long and i'm a bore

but will-he?’s right there in my lane

i spew and spout like i'm insane

and will-he? listens calms me down

he tells me not to wear my frown

he tells me what i need to know

so i can make a proper show

if not for him i'd jump the ship

i'd slide and fall i'd step and slip

i'd rave and rant and fulminate

i'd vent my spleen and spout my hate

it's good to have my friend inside

a place where i can go and hide

someone that i can complain to

when i'm beat up all black and blue

and will-he?’s nice he speaks to me

he stands guard of my sanity

when i'm distraught can't stand the strain

will-he's there my upper brain

cerebral cortex his real name

of dielectric phospholipid fame

but i'd feel sad you think it’s silly?

i just prefer to call him will-he?

Answer 1

Your brain...duh

Answer 2

Clever.  I liked the use of couplets; I especially enjoyed your ability to keep the tempo.

Answer 3

You have real poetic talent.  I have seen many of your postings: you are versatile and should not change a poetic form to suit your audience.  This poem is excellent; write as you wish and the audience be dayumed.

Answer 4

My critique is based on your poem....I'm leaving your explanation until afterwards.

By calling your cerebral cortex 'will-he' you make it sound as if how you behave is always in doubt....and your 'He never knows what I will say/because I change from night to day' confirms this.  An interesting slant on who some-one actually is.  Are they what we see, or are they inside watching (in amazement sometimes) what is going on powerless to do anything to make changes?

I agree about rhyming couplets....they are easy to do, and often just come naturally, but they can trivialise a serious subject.

I think I play to the gallery....I like to please people, and I write what they like to see, within certain boundaries, of course.

One day, though, I will write my masterpiece - and no one will like it!!!!  Perhaps by then, though, I will be mature enough to think 'So! You can't please all of the people, all of the time.  The secret is to stop trying' - I had that on a mouse mat purporting to be a saying of Robert Mitchum.

Edit - After reading explanation I wasn't too far off the beam...I also got the Will-he, Willie, idea- I just didn't mention it.

Answer 5

I understand the poem and I actually like it...but I don't like the rhymed couplets...they make it sound like a nursery rhyme...and it's not really the poem's fault...rhymed couplets are very difficult to do so they sond natural, and  you did an entire poem that way...too tiring on the ears...still, a nice poem.

keep writing

Answer 6

"Hi!"

I love your poetry.

I am sure your poetry is talking about (your Conciousness) am I right?

Very well written. descriptive, I enjoyed a lot.

I'd be a bit worried if you refered it as a her.. LOL ; )

WELL DONE! : )

Answer 7

Nicely said and clever in approach.  To me the last stanza is not needed but that is your choice.