Do you know your partner more or less after you have several kids together?

Question

my mum and i were jst arguing about if you actually know your partner more or less after you've had several kids together. so i'd like to hear your opinion about it and why do you think it.

Answer 1

I say both: simultaneously More and Less, assuming both of you are actively involved in raising the kids.

You know your partner More, because you will have learned about how your partner interacts with children, and what his/her values are with regard to raising children.  Some of these values go down to the core of who we are, and they might not be revealed except in the context of raising children.

But I think there is also a sense in which you will know your partner Less.  This is because after having spent 15-20 years raising children, you both have been so child-focused and family-focused that you may not have been paying very close attention to the fact that the process has changed you both.  When faced with the empty nest, you need to re-discover one another again, because hopefully you have both matured into something better.

So I say both.

Answer 2

I knew my husband(b/f at the time) as much as when I had kids with him as I did before we had kids. Nothing has changed,I mean yeah something different occurs every now and again but it did that before we had both our daughters and the baby on the way now...in other words...his personality and everything else has not changed since we have been together and that has been almost 7 years and we now have a 3(almost 4) yr old daughter,a 1 yr old daughter,and currently 27 weeks preg. with baby #3