Do you leave your baby in the carseat when not in the car?

Question

My baby is 7 months old and when I am not holding her, I bring her into the room I am in and give her toys to entertain herself on the floor so she can move around. My SIN was just here with her baby that is 4 months old for about a week. She rarely ever held him except to get him to sleep or to give him a bottle. He spent almost the whole week in his car seat. She would just leave him in whatever room and go do whatever she wanted and he would just sit there by himself and stare. Whenever we were all sitting around outside she would just bring him out in his seat and let him just sit. My daughter has a short attention span and could never just be left unattended for that long. Now my husband thinks I give my daughter too much attention is why she is more needy. He thinks I should be able to do like his sister does. I think she is wrong and I feel sorry for the baby to be treated that way. Who is right?

Answer 1

i agree with malwilhist.  you cant give your child too much attention and you cant just leave them there either.  my 9 month old gets some time with me and gets a lot of time in his playpen to play with his toys.  he gets plenty of attention but not too much.  

Answer 2

Leaving a child in a car seat for long periods of time, increases curvature of the spine, not only is this cruelty and neglectful to leave a child sitting in a car seat with no attention or stimulation!!

a child should be able to be left alone for periods of time as this helps them to gain independance and skills!

my 4 month old little boy is never left in his car seat he only sits in it whilst in the car hence the name CAR SEAT!!

he has a swing in which he sits in and enjoys gurgling and  smiling he also has a play mat with a toy arch on which he loves lying under, he enjoys kicking his little legs and talking to himself,

Answer 3

Rest assured, YOU are right.  You are growing a healthy child.  It sounds like the other woman is raising an unstimulated potted plant.  Keep up the good work.

Answer 4

Personally, I would not raise my child that way. But you have to watch what you say to others unless it borders on abuse. In your situation, I would invite the child over as much as possible and as soon as he got there, I would take the child out and hold him. Or ask the mom if she minds if I hold him. Chances are, she won't care either way.

Answer 5

I agree that neither is right, just very different attitudes to parenting, when my daughter was a baby she probably had 50/50, with me holding and interacting with her, and time on her play mat or in her swing,so she learnt to entertain herself, however  I am surprised that your SIN has not heard of all the research that shows how bad a car seat is for babies spinal develpoment and also for the breathing, certainly in the UK we are told never to leave baby in a car seat longer than neccessary, this is what worries me more about this.

   You sound like a great mum and it is hard when you see someone doing something so different to you, but as long as she is not harming her baby you just need to accept the difference.

   I think your husband is very wrong to question your parenting and to undermine you as a mum, and I think you should tell him this, yes your daughter may be more demanding now but I am sure she will grow up to be more outgoing and happy .

   Hope this helps a little, sounds like you are doing an amazing job :)

Answer 6

no it's not good for there back there breathing and it can cause a flat spot on the head that can cause problems with brain growth depending how bad the flat spot is sever cases may require surgery

Answer 7

I'm sorry but I agree w/you.  That seems callous and selfish.  That little one deserves to be cuddled and held and I bet your baby is just fine because you do this.   I feel bad for your sis in laws little one, it would make me want to pick him up and cuddle him.  I find I hold my son too and like your daughter he needs stimulation and cannot be left unattended.  Besides the instructions on the carseat say DO NOT LEAVE CHILDREN UNATTENDED.  I don't think you are wrong and it sounds like she adjusted her child to fit her life.  Kids are not meant to be convievnient.  I commend you.  Hold your child as much as possible and tell them you love them and how important they are everyday.  

Answer 8

yes i have often left them in their carseat for a while of they were happy enougn in it but not for too long either.it can be handy when your going into the doctors etc. to let them sit in it and play or look around them wont do them any harm they dont need to be held constanly and when you have more one its not always easy to be holding them. but it sounds like she could be giveing him a bit more attention but hey its her baby and her buisness really

Answer 9

neither.

you do what works for you, she does what works for her. maybe she has tried your way, and baby was fussy. if he isnt crying, then he isnt unhappy.

Answer 10

Neither one of you is "right." It's just a matter of parenting preference. Chances are, her baby will sleep through the night sooner and will learn how to entertain himself much more easily. However, your daughter will be more stimulated and will probably learn better. As long as the needs of both babies are being met and they're not upset or crying, then they both are getting what they need.  

Answer 11

First of all, parenting is very individualized, so there is no true "right or wrong." A baby could have some adverse effects from being left alone in the carseat. For one, it is not getting much of a chance to bond with whoever is leaving her there.  Secondly, motor, tactile and and vestibular stimulation enhance the way that a baby learns about itself, its environment, and its surroundings. For proper development holding, rocking, stroking, bouncing, and skin to skin contact are essential for emotional and motor develpment.