Do you like my newest poem?

Question

i don't have a name for it. help with that?

and i would like constuctive criticsm. how can i make this better?

just to touch

those lips

just to see

those eyes

to feel

those arms around me

to hear

the whispered words

so soothing to my aching heart

just to feel

breath on my neck

any of this

would give name

to voiceless emotions

an emotion spoken of

as

love

Blessed Be

Answer 1

The unspeakable emotion or thought....I also liked someone elses suggestion of silent emotion....It was simple and understandable. I want to say it showed emotion, but i am not sure. I believe it did, but love isn't an emotion really it is a decision so it is hard to say. But maybe that is the key, it shows no emotion. It is still great; i just think i like to confuse my self. So it was a great job. Good Work!

Answer 2

Get more creative with your words/adjectives/nouns!!!  all those words are boring.  you're writing from the surface, you need to really let the creativity come out.  just start writing and don't think about what you're writing.  you'll be amazed at what comes out.

Answer 3

Incredibly simple and sweet..

How about something like ~silent emotion~.

You have done very well do not change a thing unless you feel it is out of place. I do not see it.

I love the poetry posted on here, you are creating art and you should feel proud!