well to start i have already written about a 150 page start of another book i was working on. but it was all saved on my computer and it crashed, so now i only have about 25 pages. im a lazy writer and usually only write whenever i feel inspiration. and i usually just write the scenes seperate then later patch them together when i finally get to doing it. so writing a book to me is a very long process. well, the 150 page book is set in a girls perspective.. and i have been working on that one for a long time. im getting lazy and i was just wondering if you would tell me if it is worth writing over and actually finishing.. so i'll start with a synopsis of that one first. FIRSTLY, i must warn you.. all my books are love stories to the core. so if you aren't into romance-y stuff then i dont recommend you read these. By the way, alot of this i have not even written down in the novel yet. but this all the plot, and this is what i follow up along when i write it all in the girls perspective. i'll have you know it is much better detailed and MUCH MUCH longer. so don't base my writing skills on the plot. Just tell me if the story is worth actually writing into a novel.
the title is Skin Deep. But i think i might change it since that is the name of a movie. Skin Deep, was supposed to show the meaning of the story on how people are not how they seem on the outside.
Amber is a 17-18 year old girl [throughout the story] who has been let down all her life. Starting at 13, her mother died from tuberculosis. her father [Allen] never wanted a girl and only stuck with her because he loved Amber's mother very dearly. Amber has a half-brother [tony] who was a 'mistake' from an earlier relationship between Amber's mother and another man who is never revealed. Allen leaves to Canada, to set off another life and ignore his past over the grief of Amber's mothers' death. Tony is 17 at the time and vows to take care of Amber. Tony and Amber both move into Tony's ex-girlfriends apartment. Tony drops out of high-school to take up 2 jobs, but makes Amber promise that she will finish school and lead her own succesful life. Present-time Amber is now 17. Tony has been acting weird and has been depressed the past few months. He went missing two weeks before the present-time. and Amber knows something bad has happened to him. It is the last day of school and amber walks home.. receiving a phone call that Tony has been killed in a car crash between a taxi and a semi. She completely shuts down, and hugs her knees to her chest sitting in an alleyway near the music store where tony used to own. she sits there for three days straight, refusing to stand up and remember the pain that has brought her down. She tries to block out everything about Tony. She was weak and 3/4's asleep when 3 people picked her up and put her in a van. She awoke in an unknown room and found out she was being kept at a good-friend-of-tony's. The girl who owned the house was Nikki. A small girl with dark hair. Tony was basically one of the town heroes and was known for his kindness. It was a very small town. Anyways, Nikki explained that she had heard talk about tony's death and someone had Seen amber curled up and depressed. Nikki vowed to keep Amber with her until Amber was feeling well again. After a few weeks, Amber decided to move in with Nikki. Amber grew a liking to her and decided to trust her. Amber moved out of Regina's apartment [Tony's ex-girlfriend that Amber had been previously living with.] Regina forced Amber to attend Tony's funeral, meeting up with Allen and yelling at him for even coming in the first place. Amber choked and ran home when she was supposed to make a eulogy. Amber had been completely denying the fact that Tony had died, and had been practicing on blocking it from her mind completely. In the process all the buildup and hurt had been causing her to develop Psychotic depression. In which she has been hearing a controlling voice in her head, which is driving her to do things she never felt she should. Amber felt for some reason that she owed Nikki for even troubling her with her presence, and listened to Nikki better than anyone else. Nikki brought Amber to the mall to buy her new school clothes, even though Amber detested the idea of shopping. Amber bumped into a man who was in her way when nikki ran off to the bathroom. amber was in a relatively unhappy mood and cussed the guy out [who was shown to be very handsome.] Amber grumbled off to a table to wait for food that she ordered for her and nikki. Nikki came back with a few of her old friends that she stumbled across. Amber was shocked to see that one of the three friends were the man she bumped into. Even worse, the man was blind. She didnt notice his pale-blueish grey eyes and the metal stick he held in his hand. She glared at him anyways, blaming her ruined night on him. She directed all her anger torwards him. Nikki said they were going to stay over for a little while and drove them all home. Amber grumbled the entire time and went straight to her room. Nikki came in her room later that night [acting strangely and laughing at everything.] and reminded Amber that her clothes were still in the car. Amber reluctantly got up and went to retreve them. She was shocked to find the blind man in the living room. The man was unusually kind and actually apologized. Amber was bitter to him but decided to be nice enough to forgive him. Even if she knew she was the one who should have been apologizing. A feww comfortable months passed, a few events here and there. Amber found out some shocking things about Nikki and all of Nikki's friends. Amber grew closer to Aaron [the blind boy.] and unintentionally fell in love. She later then walked in on Nikki smoking with her friends. Nikki apologized and even broke down sobbing. Amber was so confused on how to react that she actually comforted nikki. Nikki confessed that she was part of a drug dealing comitee and that it was all started from Tony. Amber was so shoked that she did not speak for the entire night. She left to find aaron, and felt selfish for having him make her feel better. Aaron smoked ciggarrettes, Amber knew that. But Aaron confessed that he had a bad past with his experience in drugs and alchohal. It caused his blindness which was only supposed to be temporary. Aaron vowed to himself that he would never do that again, since in his past he hurt many people he loved. Amber left his house and went straight to the one place she had been trying to avoid. She drove to the cemetary and fell to her knees at Tony's grave. She screamed at the engraved stone, "who are you?!". she broke into a sob, letting out everything she had been holding in for the past year. "why didn't you tell me?" she yelled. Sobbing uncontrollably. Back at Aaron's house he knew nothing he would say would help, he called Regina and told her that Amber know knew everything. Regina left and raced to the cemetary. Amber was still sobbing, but now she was completely furious. She yelled at Regina, "You knew! You knew all along! You could have stopped him!" Amber know knew that Tony had fallen into a depression because he hated himself. He hated himself because of what he was doing. So he left, stole a taxi, and crashed into a semi. Regina pleaded, but it was no good. She sat down next to Amber and sobbed with her. after many hours passed, Amber calmed herself. Regina had already stopped, and was in a numb state. She was staring at Amber spacingly. Amber stood up wobbling, weak with depression. The voice in her head was silent, [the voice appears alot more in the novel.] The voice commanded her to control herself. Amber left regina sitting there, and walked to Nikki's house. She locked herself in the bedroom, and slept. She planned on escaping reality. The next few days she did not speak, and Nikki was worried. But she didn't pester her on it. Nikki was miserable in seeing her like that, but she let her do what she wanted. Amber finally spoke one day, and she told Nikki she wanted to see what it was like, what Tony had to go through every day, she wanted to visit the warehouse, [that was only a coverup] Nikki didn't want to take her, but she did. Amber observed everything. She watched everyone inject it in their skin, snort in through their nose, smoke it straight through their lungs. She watched the pleasure elapse their faces. The way they acted afterwards, she saw it all. Nikki took her to a private room with some of the 'close friends' Amber thought she knew. They actually offered her some, the voice inside begged for it, pleaded, screamed at her in demand for it. Amber said nothing. Nikki still had a worried expression, but spoke for her. "No. not yet, at least." She took Amber home, without saying a word. Nikki told Amber she needed to do a few things and dropped her off. Amber left the car and walked inside the dark empty house. The voice was angry, yelling at her. Spitting at her fierce demands. She was weak, and she held her head in her hands. The room was dizzy, but ther voice was clear, ringing in her head. She went into Nikki's room and looked for some tylenol, head pain medication, she scrambled dizzily through the cabinets. But she stumbled across a bag of white powder and a straw. The voice hissed in pleasure. She had no control whatsoever, she screamed at the voice. ordered it to stop. But while it was still inside her, she had no control. She fought against her self pounding her palm into her head, screaming. Her eyes were shut, she was going insane. She stumbled breathlessly as the voice grew louder and louder. She searched for something, anything. She found a silverware drawer, a kitchen knife. She took it to her temple and threatened the voice. Still screaming, both her and the voice, she nearly pushed the blade in her head before she heard Nikki stop her. Nikki forced the knife from her hand and thrusted it across the room. Amber had a slight cut and the blood was running down the side of her head. But the voice had calmed. Amber had fallen to the ground and again sobbed. Nikki cried with, but soon stopped. She called aaron and aaron comforted her all night. Amber would do nothing but shiver in cold sweat. She had stopped sleeping, and she was losing weight. She was becoming less social, but the voice was still loud in her head. Aaron was miserable, he begged Amber to gain control of herself. He tried taking her to the doctor but she refused. She did nothing. Nikki and aaron both stared at eachother, worried. weeks passed and Nikki had accidently took an overdose from wanting to escape the pain. She fell into a coma and had been rushed to the hospital. Amber had not reacted normally, it was much like the reaction she had against tony's death. Although Amber still tried to deny tony was dead, even though she knew there was no way he could be alive. Amber said nothing. She acted like nothing had happened. She had only been sleeping and hour at a time at random points. Aaron was still miserable, but her was by her side 24/7. Aaron dragged amber to visit nikki, three weeks later. Aaron let amber be alone in the room, and Amber sat next to the still body. Amber stared at her. Shakingly, amber touched her wrist. And her heart stopped when she saw Nikki's eyelids flutter. Amber had to catch her breath. Something clicked in her brain. "There's still hope." The voice told her, and for once, she agreed. Everyday after that Amber visited nikki, and she had stopped not-talking. Actually, she saved her voice instead of ignored it. She used every breath she had for when she talked to nikki. she told nikki everything, every little thing that she saw and happened to notice that very day. She would ramble on and on about nothing. But she was glad to see when nikki twitched. She knew that somewhere nikki was still inside. finally one day, Nikki's eyes snapped open and she awoke gasping like she had just awoken from a nightmare. She panted and looked around the room, when her eyes finally met Ambers she smiled and hugged her with all the strength she had. She pulled back "Oh amber, you look awful." Nikki had promised that she would never go to that level again, she was going to become sober. She attended meetings, and made Amber attend therapy, and see a doctor. Amber was put on medication, and she needed an IV to help put her body back in shape. But little by little, they both took small steps. Aaron got back his glow and helped them both. Amber walked slowly to Tony's grave and sat next to it. This time, she was calm enough to do what she needed to. She looked at the grave and closed her eyes. The voice was actually silent, watching her carefully, wondering what she was planning. Amber let go of everything she had been blocking out, faded memories. Every sound Tony had made, every little twitch in his mouth that turned into a smile. She imagined him staring at her with his admirable eyes. "I forgive you." she said. She looked at him and he nodded back, smiling. "I'm always here, little sis."
She smiled, her eyes still shut. She opened them and looked at the grave, but now she didn't look at it with sadness.. But with acceptance. She had finally accepted his death. "My job here is done." The voice whispered, and faded away. never to return again.
THE END,
so that's it.
I WAS gunna put my other synopsis for my second novel here, but after all that im a little lazy. i'll post it in another comment.
so what do you think? theres ALOT more characters, and a few more important things that happen. and obviously, the book goes much slower. but how about the story overall, is it worth it?
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