Do you like my poem "waiting lady"?

Question

the waiting lady

She lies in a twisted sea of vines

the ivy curling around her

invading her mind

pulling her in farther.

She sits for years,stone skin cold

black hair rustling in windless nights

she tries to get away with her crime,

but there is no one to read her rights.

Her beady black eyes staring soulessly

into a deep moonless sky

the pit of her existence

is no longer the apple of his eye.

So here she waits, the waiting lady

hoping for a chance at life and breath

waiting for something that may never come,

as she waits in death.

But wait! here he comes

paired with a white steed

he slays the dragon,

does the good deed.

He saves her,

just before she falls apart

he has won her acceptance,

and now has her heart.

watcha think?

Answer 1

I like it. Sounds like a fairy tale.

Answer 2

its deep, I lyk it, but i dont quite understand it 100% but sum of my frineds r here by me and they said they rlly lyk it

Answer 3

It has a nice theme. "stone skin cold" makes me imagine a statue, I think you meant, "skin, stone cold" or "stone cold skin" But the waya you phrase it makes me think statue, and that's what I think through the rest of the read. "Waiting Lady" Seems strange to me also. Because a lady in waiting, is like a queens personal servant that helps with dressing and stuff. Maybe try "Waiting Maiden" or another word of lady. Lady is so overused now a days, it doesn't have the desired connotation you want. Also, 'her' and 'farther' don't rhyme, but I like the flow, other than that. Stay Strong.

Answer 4

I liked ittt!! That was really cuteee! I think you are really good with words and rhyming, it sounded really good when i read it outloud! Good Job!!!!

Answer 5

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 6

very interesting and good. Keep it up. =)

Answer 7

pretty good.