Do you like my sad poem, its called "Death Arise"?

Question

*WARNING, this this poem is very graphic, people sensitive towards suicide should leave now....*

I feel death inside of me

As if my soul can no longer see

I entered the kitchen for a knife

And prepared to take my own life

I sat down on a chair

I felt a breeze in my hair

I grew tired and frail

My skin looked sickly and pale

Is what I’m doing right

Why can I not see the light

I take one hand and make a fist

I take the other and prepare my wrist

I slash my vein

And experienced a rush of pain

I tried not to cry

As I fell to the ground and prepared to die

I lie there notion less

And there, forever I stay, motionless

Answer 1

oh geez! lol, really really really good... even with the simpliest words, each and every one of them carry a lot of power.. good job, i cant wait to read more! =D

Answer 2

It's really good. Held my interest. Spelling error on the word "motion" in the last line. And the answer is, I'm not gonna freak out and plead with you, because I've been suicidal and I've had more than one immediate family member attempt it, and I know when people freak out it eggs you on, because partially you might be fantasizing about how people are going to react after you're dead and you thrive on their reactions. The truth is, they will eventually forget you, and you will not be there to see your immediate family crying and reacting. So there's no satisfaction in doing it. If you're gonna do it, then do it. But not if it's just to prove some random, anonymous stranger on yahoo answers wrong, when I'll never even hear about it, and with 1 suicide every 16 minutes in the U.S. statistically, it would hardly be a blip on my radar. The truth is try at life, and succeed. Don't get caught up with the girlfriend/boyfriend thing, it's completely overrated, so don't let it drive you to it. You're smart, I can tell, and if you go to college and persevere there will be nothing unoriginal about that, because as much as you might think "it's all been done before by someone else", it's not really true. Go on living, and acheiving. You'll be pleasantly surprised. We're just not patient anymore, these days, like people used to be when they planted seeds in their fields, and seemingly nothing happened with all their hard work going into farming, but then a year or two later *BOOM*! A sh*tload of corn! Where am I going with this? I don't know I'm just rambling.

Answer 3

OMG THAT WAS AMAZING!...gold!,hey listen im 13 and i was wondering if youd like to see and comment on my poem pls

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

^thanks

Answer 4

WOW!!!!!! That is one of the most simple yet complex expressions of feelings of suicide i have ever read! Although poems like this worry me because of concern for the writer but It is wonderful for such a sad poem

Answer 5

i really liked your sad poem ------- . i right some poetry myself sometimes an i thought yours was one you could feel. but can i just tell you no matter how hard life seems to be i dont beleive that taking your own life is the answer, be a winner an show yourself that you are better than that. sometimes when things seem so hopeless an messed up, just try to look past it an take one day at a time an dont think to much. the more you think about it the worse it may seem sometimes. i really hope that you are okay. better to express feelings like this in poetry than in real life i. i wish you all the best an keep writting. good luck

Answer 6

omggg !! that is like wicked deep & really sad.

i love iht & dont aht the same time. i love iht as a poem buht ihts soooo sad ! really really good job ! i'd love to see somemore poems ! :D

loveee,

XobabyygiirloX ♥