Do you like my short, rhyming poem...??

Question

"Love, the wrong one"

Hiding well within,

Never letting go,

Freedom from this,

Never will I know,

My Heart thumping,

Will it ever end?

The thought of you,

My best friend,

Hurting from inside,

Tearing me apart,

When I come near,

You turn and dart,

Never do I wonder,

Why you run from me,

You make me cry,

Together we should be.

I'm 15 and i want to become poet or a writer. I have only recently started writing, so i'm sorry if it is a little bit....childish.

Any Comments/Sugestions are welcome.

Thanks.

Answer 1

I like it.  ^^  It's especially good since you're so inexperienced.  You use an easy little rhyme scheme and simple vocabulary to create a very real emotion.  Keep writing!  ^__^

Answer 2

For a 15 year old this is fine, but as you say a little childish. Whoever posted that poetry without rhyme is not poetry is clearly no poet. Abandoning the comfort of rhyme is a hard step but is certainly an important one.

Secondly, not many people can make a career out of poetry; it just doesn't sell. Even the greatest poets had other jobs: Philip Larkin worked in a library, T. S. Eliot did many things including teaching.

The best way to develop as a poet is to keep writing, but more importantly keep reading. After finishing almost every poem I write, a process that can take many weeks, I usually feel disappointed with the outcome. This is perfectly natural as every artist has a high expectation of their own work. Take some time away from the piece and come back to it later. This then allows you to edit the poem without being to attached to any particular parts. (Ezra Pound cut about a third of T. S. Eliot's poem 'The Wasteland', a poem now considered to be one of the greatest ever written).

The most important thing to remember is that a poem is never finished, only abandoned. You can always edit and re-edit a poem to make it better.

If you work hard then poetry can be very rewarding. I would recomend reading: T. S. Eliot, Ezra Pound (who although confusing uses beautiful metaphor and imagery) and for some less lengthy poems perhps Silvia Plath.

Answer 3

i like it :) especially because it rhymes ! i hate non - rhyming poems there not poems XD

its good !

Answer 4

I like your short, rhyming poem. I have been writing off and on for several years. Keep journals of everything you write even if it is just one line or phrase. Some poems take a lot of time and work to write, but then there are times when something clicks and the words just flow out you. Either way I find writing very rewarding.

Answer 5

it's great

Answer 6

it's not all that short but if you want to make it as a poet, unless you're writing a childrens book, forget about rhyming...trust me.

Answer 7

wow. that was really good! you can achieve that goal if you keep up girl! :)

Answer 8

Good job mate keep up the good work. You can also go the library or net and find how to make poetry. Poetry is subjective but true poets have a gift - findyours.

Answer 9

it's good, if you want to be a writter you should know it's hard work! read, read, read, and read some more, look for a local writting group,

Answer 10

Hey its too gud.....best of luk in life

Answer 11

It's okay, sweetie. Practice makes perfect as they say. Go for it! :) I'm rooting for you. Actually, you write better than I do and I'm 21. I like your poem.

Answer 12

it's very good! :-) i write poems too, keep up the good work :-)

Answer 13

i think its very nice keep writing and you'll get better and better!

keep writing & good luck :-)

Answer 14

Im no poetry expert, but I think it is really good. It has a lot of feeling in it.

Good luck with your writing career