Do you like my verse?

Question

By the Numbers

Eye, cheek, mouth, tongue,

Shoulder, breast, arm, hip,

Thigh, knee, ankle, toe.

These parts of you

I take stock

with my eyes

I count you

with my hands

I establish your figure

to refer to

when you are far

I will save you

in my mind

Answer 1

I like it.

It reminds me of Heaven on Earth By Britney Spears...

It goes in the beginning..

Your touch

Your taste

Your breath

Your face

Your hands

Your head

You're sweet

Your love

Your teeth

Your tongue

Your eye

You're mine

Your lips

You're fine

You're heaven on earth

i'd take that as a good thing because personally i love britney spears but haha i think your verse is good!

Answer 2

thats pretty cool.....i like it...

Answer 3

I like it Duncan.

It is too personal to  take it with me though.

You write these for your wife,, we can't see her.

You might want to keep them private, as I feel like a voyeur when I read them.

Answer 4

What lovely thoughts.....She must be incredible.  

Answer 5

I name this new poetic form the PerVerse and submit it to the TD Euwaite panel of  poetic interrogation.

Answer 6

It doesn't seem to have the same meter in all the lines. You might not have been trying and don't want that, but it doesn't really seem to flow right now.

And I think the first stanza could be edited so it's not just the names, but a little bit more personal.

like:

sparkling blue eyes

Cheeks so fair

Mouth so lush (whatever, you get what I mean. Maybe link it to a memory you have with this person and their shoulder/arm/etc.)

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

Did you order another inflatable mail order bride from Hungary?

Answer 8

Niiiiiiiice... I bet the s*x was even better.